A female coworker asked me to go to dinner with her and a group of friends from work, I told her that I might be able to go but wasn't sure because I had other plans. When I told her I couldn't go, her facial expressions indicated that she was very disappointed that I wasn't able to go. Then ignored me for the rest of the day. How should i take this, I told her that I already had plans and there was only a chance that I could go. Should I apologize. I am a dude by the way
2007-09-22 10:53:02 · 15 answers · asked by mama a 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I don't think you did anything wrong. maybe they're just easily insulted.
2007-09-22 10:59:04 · answer #1 · answered by . 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I wonder if maybe she likes you and the group dinner thing was a way to get to know you without going on a real 1-on-1 date. I'm a girl and I would not expect a guy to apologize for having other plans. She probably had high hopes or something and this may have been a chance for her to hang out with you that she hadn't had before or very often.
If you like her and want to hang out with her, make it up and ask her out or do a coffee thing, but if you're not interested, don't be more than polite and nice in general so she doesn't get the wrong impression or read too much into things. Don't avoid her or anything if the thought that she likes you freaks you out: people get over stuff and liking other people if everyone just acts normal, you avoiding her or paying too much attention - like apologizing - may change things.
It is very nice of you to think about apologizing, but it was just a dinner invite, you know?
p.s. without you giving us other details, I did think that maybe the other people she was meeting may have wanted to meet you too, or possibly there would be some business networking going on or something work-related, but I think she would have said something specific if that were the case.
2007-09-22 18:05:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't have to apologize for anything. You didn't do anything wrong. You were honest and told her up front that there was a possibility that you wouldn't be able to make it due to other plans.
She may have been disappointed that you couldn't make it, but that's human nature for you and she'll get over it.
Why don't you ask her if you can take a rain cheque on that dinner and ask if she and the others can go for lunch/dinner at some other point?
She'll appreciate the gesture, regardless of whether or not she has other plans. :)
Good luck!
2007-09-22 22:25:52 · answer #3 · answered by milly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
momma, If you were up-front with her, she should not have taken that attitude. However, you said, "I might be able to go but wasn't sure because I had other plans." You left the door open. You should have said, No, but I'd like to have a raincheck. I have other plans for this evening.
It's somewhat obvious that this young lady has a crush on you and you burst her bubble. She's hurt and ashamed. Be kind to her but be absolutely truthful with her at all times. Don't give any possiblility of misunderstanding in the future or you'll lay yourself wide open to more of the same.
On the other hand, if you care for this person be kind and sensitive and open the door to a night out with her.
2007-09-22 18:12:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor woman you broke her heart! lol.
No it's not your fault. She is acting immature, and probably she is interested in you in a different way more than coworkers. If you apologize you are gonna make her feel like you were wrong and she was right. if She is that immature she might even make you feel miserable (guilty) everytime you turn her down to go out. kinda forget about this incident, but next time she invites you, tell her with an honest yes, I can go, or no answer. You are doing her a favor by being honest and tell her straight up if you go or not instead of her being waiting for you. good luck heart breaker, lol. you are sweet!
2007-09-22 18:08:07 · answer #5 · answered by diana_e24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. Maybe she was just genuinely disappointed, or she is a control freak who is trying to make you feel guilty. if that is the case, make sure you have lots of plans for after work!
2007-09-22 19:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by wawawebis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Em it sounds like she is totally into you and is disappointed because you are not totally into her. Which you are not, because otherwise you would have changed your plans or else asked her out separately from the event. No you have nothing to apologize about, nothing.
2007-09-22 18:02:23 · answer #7 · answered by 2kool4u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you need to apologize for anything. sounds to me like she is a little immature. if your just friends or coworkers you really dont have any obligations and she should have showed some respect and understanding that you already had plans.
2007-09-22 18:10:46 · answer #8 · answered by Natalie G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything wrong as long as you told her that you weren't for sure. She was rude to ignore you, though. Maybe she has a crush on you and you broke her heart...lol
2007-09-22 18:00:31 · answer #9 · answered by daniellerbee2000 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that she likes you and what you saw was disappointment and she is now too embarrassed to face you?
2007-09-22 18:02:06 · answer #10 · answered by PROBLEM 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is she? 12? She needs to get over it. And so do you.
2007-09-22 18:00:49 · answer #11 · answered by elk312 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋