we took our boys out today aged 11 and 12, the 11 year started swearing at his brother whilst we was waiting to get served at the shop. I asked him not to do that then he started having a tantrum, we decided to not buy anything in the shop and walked out. He now says he hates us because he couln'nt get his own way, did i do the right thing by walking out the shop? he does have behavour issues but he wont take responsibility when he does wrong and i told him i was not going to listen to him when he is angry with me.
2007-09-22 10:20:33 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes you did the right thing. If you had carried on and he had got his own way. He would know that he can always get his own way if he pulls a tantrum. He may say he hates you now but when hes older I'm sure he'll realise what a great parent he has.
2007-09-22 10:25:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did do the right thing. By sticking by what you say (not buying the sweets) you are teaching him the boundaries of what is acceptable and not acceptable. If you say something like this then you must carry it out everytime til they get the message. Of course he will say he hates you! He is just angry that he didn't get his own way and you stood your ground. you are also absolutley right not to listen when he is angry. This also teaches him that anger will not get him anywhere with you. If you have a husband/partner make sure he backs you up every time and acts the same way with them as you do otherwist they might start playing one of you off against the other. Well done! Very effective parenting skills!
2007-09-22 10:35:28 · answer #2 · answered by Michele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perfect, my dear!! Absolutely, when he starts acting out, leave the area. Tell him clearly that when he is throwing fits, you will leave wherever you are at, IMMEDIATELY! Whenever he comes through an event without throwing a tantrum or shows restraint when you tell him to stop--praise him to the heavens.
But NEVER be blackmailed or give in to "hate you", etc.
Now two things will happen: (1) He will modify his behavior and all will be well.
(2) He may take "pride" in knowing that he can ruin the outing for everyone and continue his behavior. In which case, you start make arrangements to leave him behind. In this case you would leave the immediate event, and then remind him that he will stay behind the next outing. And then follow up on that.
If this persists you might seriously consider a therapist.
2007-09-22 16:05:50 · answer #3 · answered by Skully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You did do the right thing. If he started swearing to his brother, he shouldn't deserve to buy anything at the shop. It sounds like he needs to learn that if he does something wrong he shouldn't get his way.
2007-09-22 10:28:57 · answer #4 · answered by Vanessa<3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing walking out of the shop but you can't just tell him that you're not going to listen to him when he is angry with you. He did something wrong and deserves to be taught right.
2007-09-22 10:25:47 · answer #5 · answered by Hahaha! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whilst? There's something you don't see every day.
Of course he hates you. Then he loves you. He's 11 and his world changes that fast. Sure you did the right thing. A boot in the butt may be required next, but all in good time.
2007-09-22 10:25:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Certainly you did the right thing. He is too old to have a tantrum in a shop. Make it clear that YOU are the parent, and YOU decide what's what.
2007-09-22 10:24:31 · answer #7 · answered by Caroline 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes u done the right thing kids these days dont understand the word no.god when i was little you deant ask again or u wd get a clip ensta ranstan is too blame they should never have got rid of this smacking on the bottom thing,as it learnt me and oprobably yourself good luck
2007-09-22 11:26:36 · answer #8 · answered by mark g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you did the right thing never give in to a childs demands only if they ask politely and they are not being childish in any other way.
2007-09-22 10:35:43 · answer #9 · answered by nonoodles74 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have done the same thing and would do it again. as far as saying he hates you that's what 11 year olds do - i have one myself it's a faze they go through trying to push the boundries, you have to be firm which you are, and not give in - it's hard I know but you will get there. GOOD LUCK.
2007-09-22 10:27:33 · answer #10 · answered by mama 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋