My boyfriend of 3 years and my 8 year old daughter can't stand to be in the same room together. My boyfriend and I still live seperate. He has bluntly told me that he will not be in the same room as my daughter. He cites her smart attitude. My daughter's father lives in the same town so she's with him every weekend. If indeed, my boyfriend and I go further: moving in, marriage, etc., how will I be able to handle any occurances without getting either one upset. Their fallout stemmed after my daughter yelled at boyfriend and said she hated him. He has never forgotten. Help....any advice.
2007-09-22 04:57:03 · 12 answers · asked by Curious Person 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
FYI: Boyfriend has been only man brought around her. It took a year for me to decide they should meet. They had a great relationship early on. We would do so much together: theme parks, restaurants, bday parties. Daughter's attitude changed once father came back to town.
2007-09-22 05:22:54 · update #1
sit them both down-together- and ask how to make them except each other - and try every possibility, you never know what might work.
2007-09-22 05:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Curious Person sounds like your boyfriend is acting just as childish (perhaps more so) than your daughter in this situation. Fact of life is that things will never improve if he doesn't start to behave and act like the adult in here and realize that kids will indeed say these things. She probably feels that this guy is not her dad and so has no reason to even suggest that perhaps she do something. But with age, maturity and growth hopefully their relationship will grow and become less stressful for everyone involved, especially mom. Try and have a good heart to heart with the boyfriend and let him know that your daughter will always be there and that she is number one in your life. That if he wants this relationship to work that he has to start acting more adult like and not so juvenile by not speaking with the young girl. She is getting exactly the reaction she wants by him not wanting to do things around her. She is smart enough to know that she can poison this relationship and sounds like that is what she is attempting to do. Best of luck.
2007-09-22 05:10:35 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should lock them right into a room collectively all day. the two they'll kill one yet another or become the superb of associates. I dunno if this fairly works nonetheless. verify there's a window so which you will shop checking up on them. Ha ha ok not likely, yet that's what my mothers and fathers continuously threatened. i'm getting alongside with maximum every person, yet there have been some human beings that I for the existence of me would desire to not get a protracted with. i'm having a raffle it particularly is the case. i don't likely comprehend what to allow you comprehend. there is not an common answer. My answer is in no way consult with them and stay away from them, yet this is obviously out of the query as a effect. My little sister has a chum that she fights with each and every of the time, yet nevertheless chooses to hold around with besides. i don't comprehend it. i think of the respond is, no person is conscious it. What are you able to do? tell your daughter that your relationship with your boyfriend is extra important to you than her relationship with your boyfriend's daughter, yet not extra important to you than your relationship together with her. tell her which you elect her to locate a thank you to get alongside with your boyfriend's daughter on your sake.
2016-10-19 10:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. You sound very concerned and a great mom. However, I am going to cite some experts here.
First, Dr. John Rosemond says children have nothing to do with the relationships of their parents. Second, Dr. Laura firmly states that parents of underage children should not date and bring other adults into their children's lives. If you chose not to stay with her father then you should remain a single parent until the child reaches adulthood. Third, another expert says it is not advisable for parents to date because the parade of boyfriends and girlfriends through the child's life only complicates things.
Your boyfriend does not sound mature enough to have him in your daughter's life. What's a grown man doing dating a mom and then not wanting to be in the same room with her daughter? He should say that your daughter and you are not ready for this relationship and become uninvolved.
You definitely should not be thinking of moving in with him. Children need the stability of a good environment and this surely would not provide one.
Further, your daughter shouldn't be yelling at adults and showing so much disrespect. However, you should investigate why she hates him so much. Sometimes children are far more insightful than we think they are. Did he do something to her?
You know, using your child as the reason the relationship has not gone any further is suspect in itself. Please become more observant.
2007-09-22 05:17:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well obviously she probably wants you and her father to get back together. Shes 8 years old which is pretty young, she misses that father figure in her life all the time, and when her father wasnt in town she didnt have anyone else so maybe she liked having your boyfriend there, but once her father came back into town she wanted him to be the man in her life not your boyfriend. Children know alot more than you would think, they're smart with people, and if she doesnt like him that should definitely tell you somehting. You should get rid of your boyfriend, if he honestly has a problem with your daughter than its his loss because she was in your life first, and she always should be the priority in your life. You and your daughter come together, and if a man wants to be in your lives he should be accepting of both of you. if you do start to date again i would wait til she is older and more accepting of other people in her life.
2007-09-22 05:32:57 · answer #5 · answered by E 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a no brainer. You chose your daughter over this other guy. He has real issues to be holding something like this against an 8 year old. That is a HUGE red flag.... I don't understand why you are still with this guy after that. Shows you alot about his character and gives you a glimpse of your future with him.
Your daughter is and should be your priority right now. Get rid of this guy and wait until you can find someone who can understand how kids are and is willing to do the work to earn not only your love and respect, but your daughters love and respect. That will be the right guy for you... this guy you are with now... nothing but trouble.
2007-09-22 05:07:27 · answer #6 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend also sounds like an 8 year old...
And given the implied ultimatum by him, I would choose your daughter over him.
2007-09-22 05:09:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If your daughter has a smart attitude it is your place to correct and change the behavior. If she needs counseling make sure she gets it. Let her know being disrespectful is not tolerated!
2007-09-22 05:37:48 · answer #8 · answered by RT 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To bad the boy friend can't be an adult, she is a child. He is the one who needs to cope. A side note you shouldn't be with anyone who can't love your children as you do, after all they are a part of you.
2007-09-22 05:16:08 · answer #9 · answered by lucidwillow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's simple. Your daughter should be more important. And it should be someone she loves too....not just you.
2007-09-22 05:08:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋