I know a couple people, online and in "real life", that constantly says one thing about others in private, yet the complete opposite in public. For example, they will complain in private about how pathetic and what idiots certain people are, yet publicly they talk about what wonderful friends they are. Or privately telling someone that they hate and dispise their spouse, while publicly gushing about how they are so much in love and that the spouse is their soulmate, etc... I can certainly understand someone venting now and then. However, when its simple venting, at some point in time they would also speak positively. That is not the case I am speaking of. So how much of that inconsistancy would it take before you felt you could not trust them?
2007-09-22 04:21:34 · 12 answers · asked by Jerry K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thank you all for responding. I wish there were a way to award more then one "Best Answer" since there are a few that are very good and deserving. In particular Mommiedearest, Adviso, Sharmel, Dosage and Dr311. I do believe that everyone does lie, sometimes unintentionally, and if you decide on a "one and done" type approach you severely limit your friends. How would you know if it was simply venting one time and it wasn't truly meant? Since I can't pick all, and there isn't a way to put only certain responses up for a vote, I guess I will have to choose Sharmel's answer, since it seems to cover all my concerns.
Thank you all again!
2007-09-23 13:32:15 · update #1
Once you have come to realise that this is a certain person's regular behaviour pattern, then, speaking for myself, that would be quite enough for me to withdraw from that relationship. If that's the way that person is talking about others, then more than likely, that is how he or she is talking to others about ME.
2007-09-22 04:30:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look, people like to keep up appearances (it's a pride thing) so obviously they are not going to criticize their partner/spouse in public. The complaining in private is a truer indication of how they really feel. And then you just get some weird people who are all over the place as far as consistency is concerned. Btw, the Internet is mostly full of fakes - not true friends. If someone lies to you I've realized that you should confront them immediately because if you let it go they think you are stupid and just keep telling lies thinking you are dumb enough to believe them.
2007-09-22 04:33:22 · answer #2 · answered by Adviso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You purposely take things out of context, but you're only deceiving yourself. Nu 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie, Neither the son of man, that he should repent: Hath he said, and will he not do it? Or hath he spoken, and will he not make it good? The time when Balaam made this prophecy was before Jesus Christ was born in the flesh. Same thing with Exodus 33:20. Exodus 4:16 does not call Moses God, but calls him a son of man, which we all are. Ex 7:1 And Jehovah said unto Moses, See, I have made thee as God to Pharaoh; and Aaron thy brother shall be thy prophet. This doesn't mean Moses was God, most people should understand that. John 1:18 and John 4:12 refer to the Father, whom human flesh cannot see. So as for your bible knowledge, total fail.
2016-05-20 23:34:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not start with the assumption that they are 2-faced and act and treat them accordingly?
One factor people forget is that if bad-mouthers don't say it to other people's faces, they are not saying it to YOUR face, either.
However, you are just as much to blame by giving them an audience. As long as you listen, they will keep talking.
Next time they start bad-mouthing someone when they are not around, purposely change the subject. The minute you stop listening to them, they will drop YOU like a hot potato. Believe me.
If you are firm in not paying attention and changing the subject whenever they start up their rants, they may not stop, but they will remove themselves from your picture. It works every time.
2007-09-22 04:50:20 · answer #4 · answered by enn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After the second one tell the person what you are having trouble with. The third time is the charm. Drop them but of course be prepared for some nasty comments from them no matter when you drop them.
2007-09-22 04:46:46 · answer #5 · answered by Mommiedearest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why give them the chance after one, if they lie once to you, they will do it again. Then add more to cover up that one and in the end what kinda friend is that? Lifes too short for that, fly with the eagles ;)
2007-09-22 04:28:11 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
certainly not more than twice - I'm being honest. Some circumstances might create a situation where a friend is put on the spot and that is how they cope - but twice???
nah. that tells me I've got an associate on hand, not a friend.
2007-09-22 04:28:13 · answer #7 · answered by dr311 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One.
2007-09-22 04:24:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It actually depends on how tolerant or forgiving you are. Supported by the fact that they are still your friend or a person that lies to manipulate you for something else.
2007-09-22 04:25:52 · answer #9 · answered by Dosage 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it only takes one lie!
2007-09-22 04:27:00 · answer #10 · answered by jason 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋