my parents have found a husband for me. he is a virgin and wants to marry a virgin. i am 19, he is 20. i have sex before when i was 17. i dont want him to discover this. i need information about how i can get hymen repair so i can be a virgin for my wedding night and my husband wont know about it. where can i go? what can i do? please help.
2007-09-22 04:06:08 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel ➔ Africa & Middle East ➔ Saudi Arabia
Be honest with your husband. You shouldn't have had sex outside of marriage. It's no use lying to him he'll find out anyway when there isn't a barrier inside you. Astaghirfullah! If you are Muslim you sinned and did something haraam. As a Muslim you should know virginity is very important in Islam and you are cheating by getting your hyem repaired. You can't get your virginity back even if you get your hyem fixed. I hope for your husband's sake that you tell him the truth and then he can do what he wants by giving you back to your parents or divorcing you. Poor guy. May ALLAH(SWT) forgive you for your sin.
2007-09-22 14:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 8⤋
I do not know any hospital performing this plastic surgery in KSA. Do not think that you will find any official advertisement because breaking the hymnen even doing sport, during an accident or even by rape is very controversial in KSA.
You might leave KSA for a visit and come to the UAE where this kind of surgery is performed also when it is "illegal".
A general practitioner in Sharjah/UAE said there are two types of operations; the first is 'permanent' (will last longer) and could be done any time and the second (of lesser durability) is done few days before the wedding. The first type of operation is more expensive, he said."
Some of the hymen reconstruction operations even involve inserting a small capsule of theatrical blood for extra realism on the wedding night. The good thing about hymenorrhaphy is that it should eventually make the concept of an intact hymen worthless. Quite apart from the fact that it is possible to be a virgin and have a broken hymen, or to have spent a decade taking it up the back way and still count yourself a "virgin", the downgrading of the hymen may help destigmatise rape as a source of shame for a woman."
These kind of surgeries are also here in the "westernized" UAE still kontroversial. If you have a chance and the money - in Europe or USA you won't have any problems this surgery done. But I doubt, even money would not matter, that your parents let you travel anywhere by yourself.
It is not on me or any other answerer to talk about your moral because none of us knew what happened. You asked for help and the answerers only should be helpfull and nothing else. I do know what kind of dilemma you are in and I am sorry for not being more helpfull.
Maybe you should think about not getting married to this guy instead starting a marriage with a lie. So some studying, get a good education and make a career. Hopefully by being older you'll find a husband whom you can trust and honestly tell what happend. By being older he might be a bit more open minded (especially when he studied in Europe or USA) and still accept and love you for the person you are.
Wishing you all the best.
2007-09-22 06:02:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Be honest, because if u didn't you will cheat on him and that is what will make your life full of lies and cheats. By the way if you are in Saudi Arabia, I don't think you will find anyone to help you in doing hymen repair.
2007-09-22 18:23:14 · answer #3 · answered by Ask me 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if the beginnning of a lifetime committment to another human being is a good time to begin practicing erious deception.
I understand that you are a victim of a culture that is unfairly paternalistic. But people can only change "cultures" by changing their personal situations.
You must either be honest with your new husband, and insist that if he loves you truly, he must accept your mistakes as well as your virtues, or be silent and act as though you have no idea what a hymen even is or how yours came to be damaged. Do you honestly think He'll be coming to your wedding bed as a virgin himself??
Good luck to you.
2007-09-22 04:28:29 · answer #4 · answered by chocolahoma 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can tell him that you have been involved in a very physical activity during childhood that teared your hymen madam, be ready to make the story. If the guy loves you, he should really be accepting your past.
2007-09-22 04:11:38 · answer #5 · answered by Dosage 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Just tell him the truth that you're not a virgin anymore.
If he loves you then he should accept you whatsoever.
If he dumps you, then it would be good for you because he will dump you later somehow when he finds it.
2007-09-23 03:08:27 · answer #6 · answered by Devastated 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never heard of this, but I lost mine when I was 5 years old learning to ride a boy's bike.
The seat was loose and I kept falling onto the bar, but not off the bike.(used a fence for support) Being stubborn, I kept right on trying till I hit that bar one too many times and hit the ground.
But what the hey, I did learn to ride that bike.
2007-09-22 04:14:24 · answer #7 · answered by Sandie B 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Once you lose your virginity, you can't get it back. Even if you undergo a so-called "hymen reconstruction surgery", you are still not a virgin.
I have a question for you: Why would you lie to your husband about such a thing? Some "wife" you are!!!
I feel very sorry for that man...
2007-09-22 04:15:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 3⤋
why didnt you think about this when u had sex??
....just pretend u r a virgin and scream with pain on the wedding night and tell him to go slow......buy a little colour looks like fake blood and spread a tiny pea bit on ur self and the sheet
after 2 days/nights of screaming... enjoy sex with him!
btw you can have surgery to repair hymen.... where are u from?... there are many hospitals and private doctors that do such surgeries.... they are painful and not comfortable for awhile but they really work and no one call tell u were not a virgin before.... good luck!
2007-09-22 04:11:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 3⤋
U should beg Allah(swt) for forgiveness first and foremost....Let him marry a virgin, hymen repair doesnt make u a virgin again, it doesnt make u the same as before. It will just make u bleed a bit. Either be honest, or find some excuse not to marry him....Someday he will find out, these things always come out in the end.....
2007-09-22 05:40:22 · answer #10 · answered by Adam 6 · 4⤊ 4⤋