I have a beautiful 8 month baby and also engaged. My fiancee has a daughter from another woman. This girl is 12 years old and she know things that she is not suppose to know. she tries to do things to my daughter when i'am not around because i saw her pinching my daughter and she was crying. I decided i don't want her in my house. Now my mother in law saying that i'am getting carried away and i have to tolerate my fiancee daughter. We argued . Mind you my mother in law don't even come visit my daughter she saw her 3 times and has not even given her a gift. But with my fiancee 12 year old she gets her everything. My fiancee agrees with me but you know that is his mother. I dont know how to deal with this because i'am not gonna let that girl touch my daughter again.
2007-09-22 01:38:09 · 10 answers · asked by Sue 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I wouldnt let her in my house anymore either...She sounds very jelious and thats not good.If she is around i wouldnt leave her in the house around my daughter without you being with her.
2007-09-22 06:00:43 · answer #1 · answered by lady bug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what's best for your baby and you did. The consequences are that your fiances's mother (who doesn't become your mother in law until you are actually married)wants to punish you. I'm not sure why this matters to you, except you mentioned gifts. Really, gifts for a 8month old is a gift for the parents. A 12yr old is completely different and she's had a relationship with this girl all that time. You can't make people act right, you just need to learn to live with your decisions. I wouldn't let that girl around my baby either, if you are sure about the reasons why and its not just a jealousy thing.
2007-09-22 02:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is just 12 years old and she probably feels left out and a little jealousy. the situation is not her fault. Include her in things. When you feed your baby let her hold the bottle, when you dress her ask her to help you pick out the babies clothes. By showing her that she is wanted and loved also she will not resent the new baby. Face it if you get married you are going to be her stepmother. She was raised differently but its not her fault, talk to her and tell her that in your house there are rules. Most importantly include her as much as you can. She is his daughter also. Its a package deal, you really can't "ban" her from your home, but you can set up rules and guidelines. Good luck and try to make things work, it will be better for everyone including your baby. remember that is her older sister.
2007-09-22 01:48:18 · answer #3 · answered by Beatrice C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
from a step-kid's point of view.. i think your step-daughter is jealous of your little girl. i have a half sister too, but i see her as my little sister and nothing less and i love her very much. she was born when i was 13. but remember i would get jealous of her, but my step-mom tried her best for us to get along. she treated us equally. she'd have me take part in helping, i actually felt so important, and she would prize me for my hard work. i'll admit i was a real brat as well and gave her a hard time. she sometimes did get to the point she didn't want me at home anymore, but she always said, "would i want someone to do that to my daughter?" her family would tell her, she knew my dad had kids and what she was getting into. no one said it was going to be easy, it just takes time.
as for you're mother-in-law, she has no right to have an opinion, because that's your life. if she's not going to help the situation, then she should mind her own business, because she's only going to make it worse on you. only you know what you feel. if your husband agrees with you, then you know you're not alone and exaggerating.
good luck :)
2007-09-22 01:58:21 · answer #4 · answered by lstgrl23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't say whether this 8 month old is your fiance's child or not. As far as the mother in law goes, i would say that until she treats them BOTH as her grandchildren, she see neather of them. I also agree with the first answer. Try to involve the 12 yp with taking care of the baby. Maybe you should also seek family counseling.
2007-09-22 02:00:40 · answer #5 · answered by Crazymomo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all.. this is a 12 year old child. a child i said. a child who needs some guidance from her parents. she will always be your fiance's daughter. you should not ban her from the home. you should talk to her. your mother in law is right in the things she said. even though she has not spent anytime with her. she is just telling you what is right. and you shouldn't make him chose cuz that will come back later and bite you in the butt, unless he really doesn't care..
2007-09-22 02:31:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 B Step Mom stop and think. Miss 12 has a right to learn and her father and you should not be rejecting her instead correcting her (love).
You really don't have a MIL yet but since you've already accepted that...ok, she doesn't like the rejection activity as per your post. That is probably what she is referring to as "getting carried away" and it isn't off the wall to say so concerning any child really.
2007-09-22 02:10:08 · answer #7 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is always a challenge to go through such things like this when you are in relationships with a guy who already have kids. You just have to find a way to connect with her and your daughter together. You do have to tolerate her but put her behind in place, sit down and have a talk with her.
2007-09-22 03:02:14 · answer #8 · answered by Yanni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine never minded her own business until one day when my neighbor noticed her arm sticking out of a shallow grave in my backyard. Who would do such a thing?
2016-05-20 23:01:34 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you have no problem pinching people that try to butt into your life. Then pinch her and tell her you're not lying, did she think you were?
2007-09-22 01:45:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋