♥ I DARE YOU. Can you write a story using the following phrases?

Question

Come on then, it'll be fun!! You pick the theme. It can as long or short as you like it! Ready? Pencils up............. GO!

1."Until i find a real man, i'll settle for a real smoke."
2. Okay so, let me get this straight? Your plan is to______.
3. Oh drat. I broke a nail. Now, do you see what this line of work does to a manicure? *gooosshh!!!*
4. Yes my friend, it is I. no, no that's wrong. *ahem* It IS I, my friend..... yes; no no, okay sorry.*darn* okay, once more, *coughs* YES, my friend.... it is I, aye.... eye.... I... it is I..it is I my friend! Yes! No!...okay once more....
5. Oh wow. Oh my. Now THIS is a delicious treat. Fabulous, just fabulous. You made my day.
6. Okay like, I don't know which temp agency hired you, but you better get your butt into that sling and climb that frickin' wall doll face.
7. Like OMG this is sooooo not what i signed on for!
8. Um.......if you want me to slop myself around in that junk i'd better be getting a bonus!

BONUS: OMG just cut and print! I've a flippin' headache that not even the worlds largest martini can fix!! Oh and as an FYI.....du-uh i can always edit you out.... moron.

oh wow. these were ALL excellent!! and had me laughing hysterically!! great job, everyone!! ♥

♥ MAKE SURE TO USE ALL THE PHRASES (bonus is extra!) ♥ have fun!

**** OH WOW. THESE ARE EXCELLENT. this is going to be a very tough decision. ****

Answer 1

The penalties for being an annoying reality star can be harsh. For all the cheating, lying and backstabbing, and just plain moronic stupidity--Big Brother 8 winners and outcasts were sent to work a real job through a temp agency.

Upon being sent to Tyson in Northwest Arkansas...they sounded a lot like Paris and Nicole when they landed nearby..."where the H&LL are we?!?"

Once in the slaughter house, the feathers flew...and not just from the chickens. Daniele began to whine immediately: "Like OMG this is sooooo not what I signed on for." The floor supervisor laughed evilly. "Yes my friend, it is. I, no that's wrong. *ahem* It IS I, my friend, yes, no no, okay sorry *darn* okay, once more, *coughs* (choking on feathers) YES, my friend, it is I aye.....eye....I it is I. It is I my friend. Yes! No!....okay once more.....

Pointing to a vat of chicken parts, he demanded that the divas dive in and start pulling out parts. Dustin, wearing his robe and crown from HOH many weeks before, waved his royal wand towards the vat: "Um, if you want me to slop myself around in that junk I'd better be getting a bonus!"

At that, the supervisor harshly replied, "Okay like, I don't know which temp agency hired you, but you better get your butt into that sling and climb that frickin' wall doll face." Dustin looked confused...."what? I thought you wanted me to go into the vat?" At which the supervisor raised his eyebrows and said "ummm....will you think about that one" and winks. "Until I find a real man, I'll settle for a smoke." Dustin says with a total look of disgust.

Meanwhile, Eric and Jessica seem to be having fun in the vat except for Jess seems to be having a problem: "Oh drat. I broke a nail. Now, do you see what this line of work does to a manicure? *gooosshh!!!* Behind them, Amber looks confused. She is just standing there: "Okay, so, let me get this straight? Your plan is to swim in this vat of chicken parts? What is a VAT? I don't know what that means?" at which she immediately begins sobbing and asking God to guide her through the vat...whatever that is.

But of course, the one and only Jen seemed to be having a good time. She was still wearing the red unitard. Dick taunted her as usual, calling her a selfish b*tch and began throwing the parts at her handfuls at a time. She had been on slop for a really long time, but still it made no sense how she responded. "Oh wow. Oh my. Now THIS is a delicious treat. Fabulous, just fabulous. You made my day."

What do you expect from a bunch of selfish morons going for $500,000? See the coverage on the live feeds or youtube.

Answer 2

The sun dropped below the horizon, plunging the country roads into darkness. The telivision in my house provided the only light in the room, as my favorite tv drama continued.
"Until I find a real man, i'll settle for a real snake." Cameron said as her and her friend, Bella, discussed her latest breakup.
" Oay, so let me get this straight? Your plan is to___?" Bella asked her as she watched her friend prance across the room and pack her things.
" Oh drat, I broke a nail. Now, do you see what this line of work does to a manicure. Im moving to the city, where I can start over again." Cameron answered her.
"Jess, you better get up here in the next minute, or god help me, youll be sorry." My mother shouted down the stepps, as she realized I was still up.
"Fine!" I shouted back up as i grabbed the remote and shut everything off.
I spent the next five minutes, trouncing my way up the three flights of stairs to my bdrom, and taking my time to get ready. I was out the moment my head had hit the pillow.
That night I drifted into the most strangest of dreams.
It started with me at a new job, climbing rocks, and cliff diving into the ocean, teaching others the saftey as I went.
"Like OMG this is soooo not what I sighned for!" I shouted.
"Okay, I don't know which temp agency hired you, but you get your butt into that sling and climb that frickin wall doll face." My boss was saying, as I complained for the millionth time.
"Um..... if you want me to slop myself around in that junk i'd better be getting a bonus!" I shouted as I started the climb.
The next thing I knew I was at the bottom of the ocean, having desert with a couple of crabs!!
"Oh wow," I was saying, although how I was breathing was beyond me, "Oh my. Now This is a delicious treat. Fabulous, just fabulous. You made my day."
"We're glad we could miss." The crabs replied.
Then a bright light swept across the ocean floor, and I now stood on stage, only the director in the audience.
"Yes my friend, it is I.no, no, that's wrong. *ahem* It is I, my friend.....yes; no, no, okay sorry. *darn* okay, once more, *coughs* YES, my friend.... it is I, aye....eye......I...it is I my friend! Yes! NO!.....okay once more.
THe light swept across the room once more, this time breaking me from my dream.
I blinked repeatly, as I stared around the room.
"Good," I sighed, "It was only a dream."
"Are you sure about that miss?"
A crab sat on the end of my bed, a wonderful desert in its hands.

Answer 3

It was a mere two weeks before the first performance of the annual drag queen revue. People came from all over the state to watch the shows, and most of the proceeds were donated to charity. The high-spirited, talented performers always had the audience in stitches. But, what the audience took for an act had it roots in some major personality clashes. The shows had gone on for a dozen years. So, too, had the conflicts between volatile personalities.

It was a Thursday afternoon and rehearsal was well into it's eigth hour. Everyone was tired and tempers flared. Miss Daphne, the lead singer, was trying to rein in her temper, but was losing the battle. "Okay, so let me get this straight?" she queried. "Your plan is to have the acrobat scale the mountain, then dive into the pool of brimstone after the song, right?" Carl, the director, chewed on his unlit cheroot. "Uh, right," he said uncertainly. "Yeah, I think that sequence will work." Miss Daphne made a face.

Carl clapped his hands. "Okay, ladies, get in place. Let's pick it up right after Daphne finishes the song. Star Lyn? Where the hell did she go?" He patted his pocket, looking for a lighter. Stan the stagehand frowned at him. "I thought you were giving that up. What's the matter? Are these guys getting to you?" Carl laughed derisively. "Guys? What guys? These drag queens are worse than a woman with PMS gone postal!" He fished out his lighter. "Until I find a real man, I'll settle for a real smoke."

Just then Star Lyn appeared on the balcony. "Is it time to say my lines?" she asked uncertainly. "Yes, yes. Get on with it!" Carl motioned. Star Lyn took a deep breath. "Yes, my friend, it is I....no, no that's wrong. *ahem* It IS I, my friend...yes; no, no okay. Sorry...*darn* okay, once more *coughs* YES, my friend...it is aye,...eye...I...it is I...it is I my friend! Yes! No!...okay once more...."she trailed off.

Daphne finally lost her cool. "ARE YOU FOR REAL?" she shrieked. Carl and Stan gaped at her, shocked. She lowered her voice. "Oh wow," she said, "oh my. Now THIS is a delicious treat. Fabulous, just fabulous. You made my day." She flounced off the set. "Can things get any worse?" moaned Carl. They could. The acrobat had broken his leg and at the last minute they had to find a stand-in. The temp that the actor's guild had sent over looked hideous in tights and had a beer belly to boot. Plus he/she had quite an attitude. He looked at the prop mountains anxiously, then turned around, hands on hips. "Like this is soooo not what I signed on for!" he said in a falsetto voice.

Veins were bulding in Carls' forehead and he was turning a funny color of red. "Okay, like, I don't know which temp agency hired you, but you better get your butt into that sling and climb the freakin' wall, doll face," he said, glaring. "THEN you dive into the pool...capish?" The guy started climbing, reached the top and looked down. "Um...if you want me to slop myself around in that junk I'd better be getting a bonus!" "They DO NOT pay me enough to put up with this crap!" Carl hissed under his breath. "Okay, everybody, take five. We may have to revise the script."

In the office they went over everything again. Carl sighed. "OMG, just cut and print! I've a flippin' headache that not even the world's largest martini can fix!" He looked at Star Lyn's photo and waved a finger at it. "Oh, and as an FYI...du uh. I can always edit you out...moron!" He threw up his hands. "Okay, let's call it a wrap. I think I'm done for the day. "I'm going to a bar with big, crude, hairy guys. I don't want to see one more woman tonight...with or without a penis!" And with that, he slammed the door.

THE END

Answer 4

Honestly it sounds really cliche, hackneyed, generic. This has been done over and over again. You need more than this to make a compelling story. It's good that you plan to incorporate different languages, but know this will take a lot of time and understanding of various languages, so if you only know english it might be a little harder for you to invent languages. Bottom line in fantasy if's very easy to fall into the generic plot that has been redone over and over - based basically off of Lord of the Rings, etc...and even the Lord of the Rings was in any ways based off of various mythology that already existed for a long time. With fantasy writting it's very important to have something unique and special and honestly it doesn't sound like what you've got so far is there, as what you've just described has been over done. Google "fantasy writting cliches" and you'll see what i mean...

Answer 5

" "A Rang A Dang Dang Of A Dinner"

Josie walked into the dimly lit nightclub. She stood there a moment, taking in the scene. "Sheesh. This reminds me of 'Mothers.' Any second now Peter Gunn will take a seat and listen to his girlfriend, Edie Hart, warble some jazz number. Then he'll get a call from Lt. Jacoby and rush out the door."
The maitre d' seated her as she perused the menu.
Waiter:" What can I get you, maam?"
Josie:" Well(1) Until I find a real man, I'll settle for a real smoke(d)salmon, please. I REALLY want fettucini on a bed of shrimp, covered in a decadent sauce, but, well, death from cholesterol would make such an unattractive obit!"
Waiter: "Uh huh.......... "(2) Okay so, let me get this straight? Your plan is to order the salmon.....Right?"
Josie nodded her head and handed him the ashtray...."I won't be needing this."
The waiter reached for it....(3)" Oh drat. I broke a nail. Now, do you see what this line of work does to a manicure? Gooosshh!!! "
Josie: " Uh huh."

As Josie sat, waiting for her meal, a man at the next table had a call coming in on his cell phone. Three verses of " The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" played before he finally picked up! Josie looked in annoyance as he said:

"Yes my friend, it is I. no, no that's wrong. *ahem* It IS I, my friend..... yes; no no, okay sorry.*darn* okay, once more, *coughs* YES, my friend.... it is I, aye.... eye.... I... it is I..it is I my friend! Yes! No!...okay once more...."

Josie grabbed the phone from the man...."Oh for Christ SAKE !! It 's him, OKAY?!!! Why would he lie to you ?!!"
She handed the phone back to the man as the waiter put her food on the table.
Waiter:"For an added bonus, I included a slice of our Rang A Dang Dang Sour Apple Whos's Your Momma Hurricane's A'Comin' Sweet Cherry Pie." Compliments of our chef, Sunshine ."
Josie:"(5) Oh wow. Oh my. Now THIS is a delicious treat. Fabulous, just fabulous. You made my day," she said sarcastically.
Just then a character who looked like she just stepped out of Dodge City, wearing yellow bloomers and a cowboy hat, popped out of the kitchen..... "HEE HAW !! I hope you like it!!"
Josie waved to her and yelled out....."(6) Okay like, I don't know which temp agency hired you, but you better get your butt into that sling and climb that frickin' wall doll face. I ordered rainbow sherbert, NOT Rang A Dang Damn Hurricane Pie !!"
Sunshine, angry and a bit hurt muttered," (7)Like OMG this is sooooo not what I signed on for!" as she went back into the kitchen.

The maitre d', who was witnessing the exchange, came over. "I beg your pardon, madam. She's new here. Sorry for the inconvenience. Please....Tell me.....Is the smoked salmon to your specifications?"
Josie took a bite and spit it out. A wad of undercooked fish landed on the man who had just gotten off his cell phone!
Josie:"(8) Um.......if you want me to slop myself around in that junk I'd better be getting a bonus! "
The maitre d' was aghast! "Madam!! That is our finest salmon flown in from Alaska."
Josie wiped her face and got up from the table...... "Well I'm going to Mickey D's!!! They use fish caught in a polluted creek in West Virginia that tastes better than this!!"


P.S. "Peter Gunn" was a wonderful show. "Mother's " was a nightclub where Edie sang and Peter Gunn frequented....... because of Edie!! It was a drama with a sophisicated form of humor, I always thought.

Answer 6

I arrived at the "Gentlemen's Dream Strip Club" at 12 midnight, an hour late, only to be greeted by a sweaty, gruesome looking ,little troll of a man who identified himself as Benny, the "proprietor". He looked me up and down greedily with his beady little eyes making my skin crawl, and shoved two scraps of fabric at me, telling me I could change in the back.
"Uh......I have my own costume...but thanks anyway" I mumbled, but he insisted I wear the outfit he offered.
"Um.......if you want me to slop myself around in that junk I'd better be getting a bonus!" I griped halfway under my breath, as I grabbed the skimpy bits and trudged off into the backroom to "dress"
There were two other dancer's getting ready, one painting her face and the other trying to stretch the fabric remnants over her ample bosom.
"Like OMG this is sooooo not what I signed on for!" she lamented, finally managing to barely cover her twin peaks. The one making up had now jumped up and started doing one-armed push-ups as a warm up.
"Oh drat. I broke a nail. Now, do you see what this line of work does to a manicure? *gooosshh!!!*"
"OH BROTHER" was all I could think of to say to that!
By the time I was "dressed" the club had gotten jam packed with men and I was second in line to go on. I heard the slimy "proprietor" admonishing the dancer that had just gotten off.
" Okay like, I don't know which temp agency hired you, but next time you're up there, you better get your butt into that sling and climb that frickin' wall doll face" She smiled at him, and I could see she had a fist full of what looked like tens and twenties. I guess she thought that taking his crap for five minutes was not so bad since the tips were so great here!! She walked past him and went to sit with one of the other dancers."Until I find a real man, I'll settle for a real smoke" she said. The two disappeared into the backroom.
I was finally up and I launched into my routine. There were OOOH'S and AHHH's as I dazzled the crowd with my acrobatic maneuvers...even the troll-like Benny looked impressed!
"Oh wow. Oh my. Now THIS is a delicious treat. Fabulous, just fabulous. You made my day" he said, clapping loudly and boring through me with his beastly gaze. I hurried past him with my windfall of tips to relax and regroup in the back. The two ladies that had gone to smoke were talking, eating donuts, and planning some mischeif!
" Okay so, let me get this straight? Your plan is to pour a drink over the proprietors head on your next show and make it look like part of the act? One asked the other. Then they both collapsed in laughter and ate more donuts! Of course they never followed through with their "plan"!
By the end of the night we had all made a ton of money, and were all really tired, including the ultra creepy Benny, who had even toned down his insulting remarks!
As me and one of the ladies were hailing a cab we noticed one of the customers stone drunk, sitting on the sidewalk, he sounded like he was rehearsing a play.........

"Yes my friend, it is I. no, no that's wrong. *ahem* It IS I, my friend..... yes; no no, okay sorry.*darn* okay, once more, *coughs* YES, my friend.... it is I, aye.... eye.... I... it is I..it is I my friend! Yes! No!...okay once more....

We helped the poor would-be thespian into the first taxi and waited for the next!
It turned out to be a decent night after all!!!

Answer 7

Okay so, let me get this straight? Your plan is to get a bunch of random people to write stories 4 no reason? Im just writing this to get some points. (and Im bored)

Answer 8

It was raining, the night looked depressed. I walked up to her. she was smoking a cigarettes i couldn't imagine her without one in her mouth. She was secretly smoking since hight school.
She jumped when i put my hand on her shoulder.
"Sam... it's just you" she said putting her free hand on her chest
"Lily, so this is where you ran off to" i said, putting my back to the wall next to her.
"I didn't run" she said simply throwing the cigarette to the ground after three puffs.
"Aren't you going to finish that?" i asked her staring at the washed up cigarettes as it flowed down the road.
"No... not until i find a real man, I'll settle for a real smoke" she replied not looking at me.
"So i take it that things didn't go that good with whatshisname" i said staring at the side of her face
"No..." she replied quietly
"Hmm alright come one I'm taking you home" i said getting off the wall
She chuckled "You're hilarious" she said simply as she stared at my serious look "You're serious... ok, so let me get this straight. Your plan is to force back home?"
"Yup" i said but someone had just landed in front or Lily it was two people, one was a male and the other a female.
The female jumped at me, tackling me into the ground.
She stood on top of me examening her hand.
"Oh drat" she started with a French accent "I broke a nail" she extended her hand to show me "do you see what this line of work does to my manicure? goooosshh!!!" she rolled her head.
I recognized her, she went to the same high school as Lily and I went to
"You're... Juliana, no?" i asked trying to get up
She pushed me back down with her healed shoe.
"Yes my friend, it is I." she shook her head "no, no that's wrong. (ahem) It IS I, my friend....." she stomped her foot "yes; no no, okay sorry. darn" she stopped her foot again, i just watched it was kind of entertainin "okay, once more, (coughs) YES, my friend.... it is I, aye.... eye.... I... it is I..it is I my friend! Yes! No!...okay once more...."
"Thats enough Julie" said the male standing in front of Lily with his hand extended on Lilies neck, as she stood there motionless.
"Lily!" i yelled and tried to get up but Juliana smashed my head back down.
i felt myself bleed, she bend over and picked up some of my blood and put it in her mouth and smiled "Oh wow. oh my. THIS is a delicious treat. Fabulous, just fabulous. You made my day, warefolf"
I stared at her
"We got the catgirl, let's get out of here" he said as he quickly walked up the wall and stood on the top waiting for his companion.
She backed off and ran up the building just like the male did.
I got up and stupidly tried doing the same but i fell on my back.
I heard the woman laugh
"Okay like, i dont know which temp agency hired you, but you better get your butt into that sling and clime that freakin' wall, doll face" she said pointing behind me
I looked behind me but there wasn't anything there "what the hell are you talking about?"
The woman slapped her hands on her hips "Like oh my god... this is sooo not what i signed on for!" she said looking away from me, which pissed me off"
"Here" said the male handing Lilies lifeless body to Juliana and he dropped his white gloves
I saw some blood fall from Lilies chest into Juliana "Hey... um... if you want me to slop myself around in that junk i'd better be getting a bonus!" she said
"Shut up" said the man jumping at me
I jumped out of the way as the full moon finally came up. i felt my face stretch out and i saw blue and gray hair come out of my skin. i stared at the man from a black and white perspective now
"Let's do this" i said and ran to the man

To be continued