he has worked with me privatley a couple of times and last time it felt like he was going to kiss me and just then another instructor walked in unexpectedly. I have a serious attration to him and I belive he feels the same way. If I were to date him would he get in trouble. I can't really ask anybody there without making it obvious, and I don't want to ask him and put him between a rock and a hard place.
2007-09-21 14:51:52 · 22 answers · asked by carrie l 1 in Sports ➔ Martial Arts
for the record I am 26 he is 32
2007-09-23 12:39:39 · update #1
Gyms and dojos are more relaxed environments. There is a professional relationship. However, you are not both professionals in the same industry, nor the same business.
It's safe for you to take the romantic interest outside of the instructor's work environment, and to keep public or excessive romantic interludes away from the dojo and at nuetral territories.
However, you must realize the risk in such a relationship. There is the possibility of indecency being viewed by other students. Favoritism, and even sexual harassment will most likely be construed. So, consider the risks seriously.
So, yes, it is OK. Attraction happens. Just remember to respect who the instructor is, and keep the romance COMPLETELY outside of either of your work spaces.
2007-09-21 19:32:57 · answer #1 · answered by young_masters 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as your both 18 or over, that's your business. On a personal note it has it's good and bad ideas. I'd say you bring it up first, outside of class. Check to see if he really is interested, as him to "hang out" one night and see his reaction. If it go's well there you are. If he seems put off by it, you may be reading it all wrong -- this happens a lot. If it go's well free classes plus. If not, I'd say you will move to another school from feeling uncomfortable. Over all why not, there isn't any rule or law against it, your two adults (hopefully)
2007-09-22 03:57:34 · answer #2 · answered by Zenshin Academy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every single time I have watched it happen, it has gone horribly awry. It will ruin your training environment, and will affect the way students look at their instructor. If you were to quit training under him, it may work. But while you are a student of his, I would have to highly discourage it.
I hope that you are both adults as well; otherwise his behavior would be more than inappropriate. It may even be illegal. That's if he is even interested in a relationship with you, because you said yourself that you weren't sure. My advice would be to let it go for now.
2007-09-22 03:47:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
attracted karate instructor belive attracted allowed date
2016-02-02 04:48:51 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you are allowed to date, but that's up to your school's head instructor. In my opinion, it would be a difficult thing to do. Some people in the class may think you're getting special treatment. It may interfere with your training. He may have to be hard on you sometimes and that may effect the personal relationship. Personally, I've always avoided intimate relationships with people in my school. It just complicates things.
...but I have seen relationships work in martial art schools. It's possible, but may be difficult.
2007-09-22 04:33:42 · answer #5 · answered by Kuntawista 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the policies of the company that employs him. Some might have policies against instructors dating their students, and if his company has such a policy, he should be aware of it. You'd have to ask him.
Here's another thought. Can you work with another instructor so you can date this one?
2007-09-21 15:00:47 · answer #6 · answered by bayshorebabydoll 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're both of consenting age, go ahead. Just be ready for what may happen. If the rest of the dojo knows, they may view the 2 of you in a different light. Especially at promotion. They may whisper of favortism towards you. Maybe complain that you're getting extra training time outside the dojo and not having to pay for it.
Me personally, I wouldn't care, as long as it doesn't come onto the mat.
2007-09-22 07:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by dude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't date unless your able to take lessons from another instructor. Whats he trying to do kissing you while he is supposed to be teaching you? Makes me wonder what kind of instructor he really is. Something makes me believe he has seduced other woman this way before.
2007-09-21 15:20:06 · answer #8 · answered by Brian F 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is only true when you're talking about magnets and electricity. People are way too complex to say that one person is the complete opposite of another and thus they are attracted to each other.
2016-03-18 21:56:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is generally considered inappropriate for martial arts teachers to become romantically involved with students; therefore, it is usually not done. However, it does happen. Remember that martial arts are firmly rooted in tradition and proceed according to appropriateness.
2007-09-21 18:18:22 · answer #10 · answered by sassylass 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋