Vegetarian / Non-Vegetarian Relationships?

Question

Does anyone find it diffiuclt to have a serious relationship with someone because they are a vegetarian, or because you are and your spouse/partner is not??
I mean I am starting to cut back my meat intake but find it hard because my boyfriend wants meat or when I cook he wants chicken or steak etc.... how does this work out?? Because I can't convince himt o do something he doesn't want to do (stop eating meat) - but we always have meals together....any suggestions on how to mesh these 2 lifestyles without having to cook 2 separate meals every night??

Answer 1

I really like "xandra242002's" idea of cooking 1 meal: with your veggie choice and his with his meat choice in two separate pans, and both of you have the same side dish. (ie: you have a veggie burger while he has a hamburger, and you both have a baked potato or corn with it, etc.) This way you are just using one extra pan and it becomes a whole meal instead of 2 meals.

However, this is not a meal you are going to have every night and will need to plan the meals out better. Spaghetti and meatballs are easy, just eliminate the meatballs from your plate, and the sauce. He can still enjoy meatballs in the meal. But it will even go further than this. The more complex meal you are making, the less choices you will have available to accommodate the both of you, which is where you really need to sit down and talk about what will work best for you both and reach a happy medium, or middle of the road, so to speak, on your meals.

Like you said in your question, you will not be able to change his desire for foods and neither will he be able to turn you back if you are losing desire for meat. The desire for meat becoming less is usually due to a physical change in that we are becoming lighter and eating healthier to compensate for these physiological changes. It is better for the digestive tract too, and I feel that eventually everyone is going to be lightening up their meat intake (but that's just my opinion).

If you are able to also tolerate the smell and the idea of the meat in the pan or at the same table with you then that would be helpful to consider. I know many vegans and vegetarians who would not be able to do that, as they have become very sensitive to the smells and even the lower energy that it emits.

I think that if he is willing to pitch in with you and make his part of the meal, while you are doing your part, you can both work as a team to accomplish a healthy meal plan to satisfy both your dietary needs.

Best of luck to you both and happy cooking!

Eve

Answer 2

My boyfriend is a meat-eater and I am a long-time vegetarian transitioning to veganism. I cook, he eats (quite happily, I might add.) He eats predominantly vegetarian at home, though he throws a chicken breast on the grill from time to time. Mostly he just eats meat when he's out of the house. He's never complained about the arrangement, but then I was veg long before he moved in so he knew what he was getting into. I think he's a tad skeptical about the vegan thing, but I've tried out a few new recipes in the last week that he's liked a lot. If the eating veg at home and eating meat out isn't an option for your boyfriend, you'll just have to plan meals together that are easily convertable betweem veg and non-veg... like instead of pasta with meat sauce, try pasta with marinara sauce and have your boyfriend make himself meatballs to go with it. You don't necessarily have to plan completely separate meals if the meat can be prepared separately and added after you've served yourself.

Answer 3

I'm not in such a relationship, thankfully, as my boyfriend is vegan, also.

People can spout the "have a right to eat what they want" line all they want. But the basis of morality is that we be allowed to do what we want only so far as our actions don't hurt someone else. Vegetarians/vegans count animals as somone. Secondly, what if a normal meat-eater came upon a cannibal? Wouldn't he have a problem joking and laughing, much less being intimate with a person?

Not only are we not okay with killing animals for meat, it's also hard for us to be okay with someone who's okay with it themselves.


To answer your question, there's no reason why he can't eat a vegetarian/vegan meal. It'd be different if meat eaters COULDN'T eat things without meat in them (you'd think so from some people). But they can. I would cook a tasty dinner for everyone that doesn't involve meat, and if he gives you flak, maybe cook some faux-meat veggie burgers and see if he even notices they're "fake".

Regardless of what he chooses to do, he should respect the fact that his eating meat makes you uncomfortable and acknowledge that it makes more work for you.

Answer 4

I am vegan (I also don't eat refined sugars, bleached fours, or any other items that have been thoroughly stripped of its vitamins and minerals), my husband is not, and I have a four year old that eats as he pleases with the exception of milk, he drinks soy milk. It is actually very easy. Out of respect for our sanity and his ability as a full grown man to make decisions for himself, I do not impose my beleifs on my husband. Generally I make a meal, for example, I made mushroom and spinach quesedillas (vegan cheese, bean sprout tortillas) for supper tonight, and I simply grilled a portion of a chicken breast with some spices and added it to his quesedilla. I have no issue in preparing meat, and since you eat meat currently I can take it you do not either. I guess the best way to adapt to a meat eaters diet it by taking the recipes you would make as a vegitarian and adding a portion of meat to his. In time I am sure their will be times when he may feel meat (veggie burgers) is not necessary in all meals, I the mean time keep the meat at a minimum and make the meals exceptionally filling.

Answer 5

If you are cutting back on meat and he eats more of it, then you are making two meals at the same time, right?

Unless you mean you can't stand to cook a full on steak and or chicken when you are not in the mood for it.

Then, you just have him participate in the process so that he learns the joys of cooking.

Answer 6

Forcing him to not eat meat will not go well.

My boyfriend and I live together and have been together over a year. I don't eat meat, he does and the relationship works quite well. We cook together. If we make something he wants meat in, he will cook the meat seperate and put it in his own dish. If he wants burgers or something, he'll grill out some and I'll get some of my portabello mushroom burgers. If you want to still eat together, just plan out lots of meals where you can either have a soy alternative or where he can put meat in later.

Answer 7

I am a strict vegetarian and my fiance is an omnivore. We live together and cook almost every night of the week. I am usually the one to find the recipes and most of the time they are vegan in nature.

This is what I do. Focus on the protien in the recipe. Cook everything else (starch and veg). While that is cooking, cook the the plant protien in one pan and the animal protien of choice in the other pan. Combine on seperate plates. This is easy with stir-frys or baked "chix parm" for example. If its a soup or stew, double the recipe, cook everything up until the protien and then seperate out half. Put the animal protien in one pot and the plant protien in the other.

If this seems confusing, send me a recipe you would like to try and I will break it down for you.

I hope this helps.

Answer 8

Although I am not a vegetarian, I tend to be a little more health conscious than my other half. He is a meat and potatoes kind of guy and I like veggie burgers and hummus.

I cook double the amount of food so that even though I'm cooking two meals, I'm not doing every single night. Soups are also great to prepare because you can adjust them as needed. I'll make a vegetarian lentil soup and then add cooked sausage or shredded pork to his after the fact.

Answer 9

I don't have problem like that but I guess if you really care for him you should try to make it work somehow.
FOr example why not cook dishes that you can add meat to. That way you can eat vegetarian and he can add his chicken or steak to wathever you cooked.
You can tell him that if he wants meat he could pitch in with cooking and cook what he wants so you don't have to.
Good luck

Answer 10

Have him cook his own meat. The rest of the meal can be vegetarian friendly. Don't lower yourself to his demands because he thinks cooking is women's work. Relationships are give and take. Let him throw his steak on the grill if he wants it that bad.