me and my partner have a four year old and a ten month year old. Both girls. his parents are upsetting me because they pay no attention to our girls, but there other granddaughter get everything and they see her all the time. they live five minutes away. they didnt bother to call or phone on our eldest daughters birthday, they have been to visit baby once since she has been born, they dont phone or text to c how they are. his mother has told me im not welcome and that they wont speak to me again because i have asked her if she is going to visit, or can girls go round. she has sent me abusive text mesages and my partner has seen them. i feel abit upset that her wont stand up to her and ask why she doesnt want to see girls and why is she so hostile towards me, it is really hurtful that she doesnt seem to want to see the kids.am i asking to much to ask my parent to stand up for me.gemma
2007-09-08 23:43:30 · 10 answers · asked by S D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can do everything you want to do and die a lot sooner.
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2007-09-09 00:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want these people in your life? I know it is lovely if children have loving and doting grandparents, and that's the way we expect things to be. Unfortunately, life doesn't always live up to expectations. You see nothing in your life or attitude to bring this about so there is nothing you can do to change the situation. Sorry to see your partner is not supporting you on this but he is caught between his love for you and his children and his loyalty/love for his parents. I firmly believe he should be helping you in this but that is something else you cannot control.
Could you try to look to your own small family and be happy within that small circle? It is your in-law's loss that they are missing out on what I am sure are two lovely little girls. Try not to be bitter and above all, try not to let the little ones know they are rejected by their grandparents.
2007-09-09 02:00:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot force people to be grandparents. I can't tell if you are two women, or a man and woman living together. Either way your lifestyle may be affecting their behavior. Not fair, but certainly their decision.
What do you need them for? I personally wouldn't want these hateful people around my children. Do the best you can to bring all kinds of people of all ages into their lives and create the "family" you don't have with blood relatives. Many children are in this situation, while hurtful, they will do just fine.
2007-09-09 01:35:18 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didn't say WHY the inlaws don't see the kids....
even if you do not know the sources of their behavior or why they don't see the kids, i'm sure that in the long run, the kids won't miss what they have never had.
so, if she/they don't visit the kids, or call or come over on birthdays, it's no skin of your nose.
i am sure there are other people in your lives who care and who acknowledge you and your children.
hon, stop letting your mother in law control your emotions, gather your dignity and act like a lady. accept the fact that you won't always get along with everyone you cross paths with, and move forward with life.
you have two wonderful daughters, and i think that they will thrive quite nicely on the love YOU have to give them.
take care.
2007-09-09 02:19:15 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think you are asking too much of your parents.
If you are old enough to have a partner and two children and one is 4 years old.. You are old enough to stand up for yourself. Your parents are just that, your parents.
They cannot and should not get involved with your partner's parents decision. It is none of their business. They can only be there for you and console you but you cannot ask them to get involved in a feud with your in-laws. It will not help in any way shape or form. It will only lead to more problems and then your partner will fall out with your parent too.
At the end of the day it is your relationship , not theirs. This is something you will have to sort out for yourself with or without the help of your partner. If they do not want to see the children, you cannot force them. it is their decision.
I would move on and forget about it. It is their lose and not yours. I certainly wouldn't want to be around people who did not wish me to be there. They are the ones who will miss out on their Grandchildren growing up. This should be solace enough for you.
2007-09-09 03:38:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
. Very unusual behavior for grand parents to deny the grand kids.May'be they're old fashioned and expect you to get married.Whatever the reason is your partner should have dealt with this issue many years ago.Does your own parents see the children
2007-09-08 23:56:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately some people are like that and maybe she is just jealous of your relationship with her son, so you will just have to ignore her maybe that will work more than asking and bothering her cause at the minute i bet she is loving the attention
2007-09-09 05:08:31 · answer #7 · answered by the little helper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we just have to live with it, I had a similar problem, came the time when it no longer bothered me, I was not the problem, try not to take it to heart.
2007-09-08 23:53:31 · answer #8 · answered by joe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like the kids are better off not having all that drama in their life leave it alone
2007-09-09 01:50:47 · answer #9 · answered by Kelli sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it clear you don't allow crazy people around your children.
2007-09-09 00:40:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋