My mother (not a gold-digger) is 75 and two husbands have died. She's fairly well off. She gave me a check for $5,000 and I could really use the money but feel I don't deserve it (I know, poor me). My first thought was WHEW I could pay off so many debts. But all I can think is I don't deserve it, I didn't earn it, Then again I was a good daughter to my two step-fathers. How do people "born" with money live with themselves when they have money they didn't earn? I want to tell her I can't accept it because I didn't earn it, but she didn't "earn" it either. She only wants to help. My other thought is I would accept it if I could give some to some of my struggling friends, and some to charity. I know this sounds too good to be true, but I can't live with myself if I just take the check.
2007-09-08 23:43:07 · 12 answers · asked by wikedwhich1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know what a relief money can be when you are in the situation that you are in (living it myself!). An answer here is not going to change how you feel morally towards the money that you mother wants to give you. Remember, not everything needs to be earned, and in life we must use the opportunities given to us if we are to advance ourselves. Since you could really use the money, my suggestion is to do so. And instead of giving some of it to charity, why not volunteer some time to help out, because money always comes, but time, once gone, is gone forever. Time is the most precious gift that we can give.
2007-09-08 23:55:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The "easy" answer is "take the check", but read on, please.
Consider that your mom only wants to help her daughter. No strings attached. She's just being a mom...that's what parents do when they can.
My suggestion is that you accept the check very gracefully with a heart-felt thank you note (think very carefully about what you write in the note-maybe mentioning that you'll try to use the money as wisely as you can, etc.).
Then, by all means, USE the money wisely. You may have struggling friends, but think, is that really the most logical way to use the money?
Try your best to learn something positive from this gift (if you pay off debts, don't turn around and re-incur those same debts or other similar ones--you know, things like that).
Good luck and best wishes.
2007-09-09 00:02:54 · answer #2 · answered by boomerdude 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely share a little of it, but at the same time don't miss the main goal of her giving you the check, to help YOU out with your debts.
If you were able to pay off some of your debts with this check, would you then be able to help your friends also? Since you wouldn't be paying out all that money to your debts?
I think it is quite generous of her and you should use it to put yourself in a better place financially, for this is turn will allow you to be able to help others when you are able to. And if you feel that you must, then give 10% of it to friends, charity or wherever you would like it to go.
Just remember, if you have less debts, then you have more disposable income each month to go where it could be best used (as in friends, charity etc).
Good luck!
2007-09-09 01:01:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It gives her pleasure to give you the money. It's a gift. If it was $50, would you care? What's the difference between $50 and $5,000, except a few zeros? It's just money -- don't make it a symbol of anything. Thank her graciously and enjoy paying off some bills.
2007-09-09 02:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand, just give it anonymously to someone as a good deed...me. Email me and I will help you relieve your burden. Or you could just shut up and take the money and pay off your debts and be grateful.
It's just money...cash the check! What goes around comes around. Someday when you are out of debt you can give someone money who "didn't earn it".
2007-09-08 23:58:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother wants to give you a gift and you are having trouble with that? Give her my number, I'll be glad to take it for you!!
Seriously, your mother is elderly and this is something that will make her feel good and she can give up to $10000 a year with no taxes on you. I believe there is a tax benefit to her, but not certain about that. Either way, take the money and pay your bills. Send her some flowers and be grateful she's alive to give you anything.
2007-09-09 01:39:21 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The definition of a saint, in accordance to my Chambers English Dictionary, is:- (while prefixed to a acceptance) a holy man or woman, one eminent for distinctive characteristic : between the blessed lifeless, one canonised by the Roman Catholic church. So we've a difficulty right here. there is little doubt that mom Theresa dedicated and dedicated her existence to helping the undesirable of Calcutta and fairly dedicated lots extra Christian behaviour than maximum. regrettably that's my concept that the only holy beings are the individuals of the Trinity. God the father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost. so Theresa, with all her distinctive characteristic is not extra holy than you or I, even the pope is in user-friendly terms a guy and not holy by any experience. additionally, despite the fact that using Saint's names and concept in them is usual that's the Catholic Church which comes to a decision who could or should not be a saint. we've had the paradox some years in the past the place the, then, pope desperate that dozens of former saints could be stripped of their sainthoods as he did no longer approve of them and hence contradicted the, meant, infallible judgements of previous popes who had desperate that those human beings could be sanctified. i'm no longer a catholic, nor do I join maximum of their ideals, I want to study and have self assurance the genuine Bible somewhat than the Codus Angelicus or the different catholic rulebook. So in end i might agree that this female could be classed interior the comparable way as modern-day 'saints' yet as i've got not got self assurance that the catholic church has the 'skill' to 'make' somebody holy then ,regrettably, she will in no way be one. i'm additionally of the opinion that many saints have been so decreed as politically functional for the catholic church somewhat than by what generic needs of the persons dictated and that i think of that they might see Theresa's acceptance as too lots for them because it might probable detract human beings from the church in favour of Theresa's teachings. remember she gave away all she had and despised the gold, jewels, baubles and rich trappings that the catholic church owns and shows yet won't get rid of to help the undesirable and that's this grievance of the catholic church and that's techniques which will, I concern, forestall any pope from canonising her.
2016-10-10 06:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems to me your mother loves you very much. It might just be that she would rather give money to you now when she can feel blessed, than to leave an inheritance to you after she has gone. If it were me, I would just tell her how much I love her and thank her for her kindness. Just don't take advantage of her generosity.
2007-09-09 00:22:58 · answer #8 · answered by Sheep dog 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's a gift. you didn't ask for it, she just wants you to have it. my dad does this too. i've tried to refuse it many times but he gets angry. sometimes, those with a substantial amount of cash have to get rid of some-so to speak- and this is a good way to do it. as a parent, wouldn't you want to help your kids as much as you could?
2007-09-09 02:57:23 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept the money. She can afford to give it away.
2007-09-09 00:38:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋