she has already had 3 DWI's (driving while intoxicated)..and been to jail also..and we want her to stop drinking all together..me and my sister use to try our best before to make her stop but she wouldnt listen..and look where she ended up..in jail..and now she getz out..doesnt have a car anymore (becuz she wrecked it)..not becuz of her being drunk thought..she went to jail for it becuz the night before she got drunk and that stayed in her system and the other ppl that were in the car with her got injured and had to got to the hospital..and she said she would stop but we have found her drinking again..what we think is that she is thinking that since she isnt driving she can drink..but we want her to stop all together even if she isnt driving at the moment becuz her license got suspended..becuz it might pursuit her to get drunk and drive again when she does ger her license back..and we r trying our best to make her stop..and she just doesnt understand..we just dont kno what to do..
2007-09-08 22:59:38 · 9 answers · asked by 24_KaY 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
her boyfriend doesnt make it any better...one of those nights after she got out of jail they went out to a club..and she came back drunk and me and my sis started bitching at him and all he says is he's sorry and that he cant run her life and we just are like why u just couldnt take the beer out of her hand? and he always says he cant tell her what to do she's an adult and blah blah blah..and we always try to monitor her as much as we can...and she wont even try to go to rehab or anything..we even tryed to get her to go to church so we can pray for her and nothing..we just dont kno what to do from here on out...any opinions? or advice that can help?
2007-09-08 23:02:24 · update #1
hunny, i know where you are coming from
unless your mom WANTS to stop drinking, she never will...
listen to me now, find a local "al-anon" or "al-teen" group, and go to a few meetings, you'll get great advice on how to deal with things...
its hard to deal with, i know, but you can...
good luck!
2007-09-08 23:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Alcoholism is a terrible disease, the only one I know of that convinces the person who has it that they are not sick. Isn't it amazing that your mother's life is falling apart in front of her eyes, yet she insists she doesn't have a problem? As a recovering alcoholic myself, I look back on the days when I too was in denial and I simply cannot believe how long I held on to the idea that I was just fine in the face of mounting evidence to the contrary. I could not work, I lost all my friends, my marriage was gone, my kids ran away at the sight of me . . . but I thought I was fine. Amazing. And I've seen other people die, actually die, usually from suicide but sometimes from accidents or overdoses, as they continue to maintain that they are completely ok and everyone else is just a pest.
I say this to tell you that this situation cannot be dealt with via logic. There is little if anything you can say to convince your mother that she needs to quit drinking. You are, as they say in Al-Anon, powerless over alcohol, and you will drive yourself crazy if you spend all your time and energy trying to fight this unwinnable battle.
One day your mother's denial may break, like mine did, and she may understand that she must stop drinking. If this happens and she finds she can't quit on her own, there is a lot of support out there for her. I used AA and am still active with the group after many years of sobriety.
Meanwhile the very best thing you can do for yourself, as others have said, is to go to Al-Anon.
2007-09-12 09:22:47 · answer #2 · answered by Helen W. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel,. I am going through the same problem with a family member.THIS Time, She has Shattered her shoulder blade and was so drunk she doesn't know how it happened,I think she was beaten in her own room,
She is a very small woman ,and I fear for her life...she has has 3 wrecks this year, and we think she has used up her 9 lives.
Our family has gotten together trying to come up with a plan to talk to her.Tough love is not an option right now for fear she will run...she always dodges facing responsibility for her actions, and to tell her to go to rehab or don't come back will definitely not help her.We are in a hard position and don;t know what to do.
I am doing a whole lot of prayer for her, But until she accepts that responsibility of her addiction, and wants to change her way of life, we as a family are doomed to watch her slowly kill herself...............................
2007-09-09 09:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by iwild 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there were a magic wish .....
But folks who are excessive about any thing, booze, beer, drugs ..what ever ... will not change until they decide it's time to change ... the longer a person has been partyin' to excess the harder it is to stop ..... my best suggestion is for you and your sister to look up "Al-anon" it the AA (Alcoholics Anon) group for family & spouses of a dependant drinker. This group is dedicated for supporting you in trying to deal with the problems a drinker can bring into your life......
There are groups just for teens as well ......
You and you sister stick togeather and if nothing else learn from her poor choices .....
Good Luck....
2007-09-09 07:58:30 · answer #4 · answered by John 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi hon....
alcoholism is an illness, and your mother isn't drinking because she "wants to" but because she is addicted to alcohol...
addiction is a powerful thing, and it takes quite a lot of willpower to stop... plus, many alcoholics who quit need the help of a doctor, and with meds (depending on the severity of the addiction).
you can find more information on line.. i've listed a couple of websites.
Alanon/Alateen are organizations formed for support of those whose lives have been affected by an alcoholic. You can probably find meetings to go to in your community as well as visiting the website listed.
I know what you're going through. I was raised around alcoholics and am a recovering alcoholic myself.
I'm sending love, and hope your mother will stop. I know how difficult it is living with drinking and then turning to alcohol years later. I no longer drink, and wish i never did....
Meanwhile, you need to take care of YOU...
xo
2007-09-09 09:27:25 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's sorry and that he cant run her life and we just are like why u just couldnt take the beer out of her hand? and he always says he cant tell her what to do she's an adult and blah blah blah..
I do somewhat agree with her BF but he should support her - however no change can take place unless she want to change - thats where you need to start
2007-09-09 06:40:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hum....call child services if you are under the age of 18. Tell them everything. Now this could get rough, but if you really love her and you want her to change then you are going to have to persevere. They may want to take you out of the home until she gets help, but this would only be temporary. Most likely they will put you with family and if they can't they will put you with real nice people who care about you I am sure. This will only be temporary and it will save your mother's life. This will shock your mother and suddenly she will see over the beer bottle. She will see her children out of her home and hopefully she will want to change to get you back. Make her fight for you, make her fight for her own life!
2007-09-09 06:32:47 · answer #7 · answered by hlp4U1799 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel sorry for u. the only thing you can do is talk to her about it.and like its hurting you and stuff.and its not doing any good to herself to you too.thats the only thing i can say
if she doesnt listen at all you should try and just comfort her at times when shes drinking...cos she wouldnt drink bcos she only feels like it
2007-09-09 06:24:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a bunch of you together and tell her that she needs help or move out with someone else and dont talk to her anymore
2007-09-09 06:12:08 · answer #9 · answered by rich g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋