My ex-boyfriend & I recently broke up but we still keep in touch. Last night we were talking & he told me how much he missed me and still loved me. He asked me y I haven't dated any1 since we broke up, then said to me me "tell the truth, ur not w nobody else bc I'm the only guy u want to b with,huh?" I lied and said "no it's bc of the way guys approach me-if they approached me in the right way I would give 1 of them a chance." I didn't want 2 tell him bc I didn't want him to think that I was sprung & couldn't get ovr him. He got quiet and said oh. I asked him y he kept asking me stuff like that he said he still had feelings for me and loved me. He wanted me 2 be real so I told him I did miss him & have feelings 4 him & wanted to go back out but I didn't want him to break up w me again. He got quiet & said "Mm. l don't understand u. I don't even feel the same way about u like I did." He said that he didn't feel that I liked him bc I don't act like it. Then out of no where he got upset.
2007-09-08 21:49:03 · 31 answers · asked by Jinga 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He said that he thinks that I thought that all he wanted was sex and I said I didn't which I really don't think that. I said to him I hope ur not tryin to hurt my feelings bc it's not working (it really was) He said he could care less abt my feelings and said maybe we're better off not talking anymore & hung up. He called back about 5 min l8r and was like "I don't want things to be like this between us... I guess I just got upset bc I guess I just really miss u and don't get 2 c u as much." he said that's all he wanted to say then we hung up. I'm afraid that now he really doesn't like me anymore & that he's going to move on to somebody else now (at 1st he wasn't talking to n e 1) I wan't to talk to him but I know he'll be like I don't even want to hear it now. I'm thinking about coming to visit this weekend but I don't know if he'll want to talk to me then. What should I do?Is it possible to just quit have feelings for me just like that?
2007-09-08 22:03:30 · update #1
oh girl i think your bf needs to grow up!! both of you sounds young. i think the two of you should slow it down a little. and youre right about not letting him know, how much you still love and care for him. i know its hard to hide your feelings. but you also dont want him to be taking advantage of your feelings right?! i think you should meet him in person and talk... just talk!! dont get carried away with your emotions because if you start crying in front of him... your showing him signs that you still want him back and you regret braking up with him. the reason why i said to meet him in person.. is to see if he really is sincere when he told you that he misses you and still love you. you know that 3 letter word...."I LOVE YOU" is so easy to say but it takes forever to prove!!! so its up to you girl, listen to your heart but also at the same time use your head. if the two of you are gonna keep breaking up and getting back together...its not going to be healthy for your relationship in the long run. sometimes its better to let go!! remember,, that person is in your past because hes not meant to be in your future! think about it ok?!
2007-09-08 21:58:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. Sex makes things complicated, so expect drama. Don't get back together with him if you are constantly thinking about him. The greatest lesson I've learned is that the best relationships will last if the two people aren't totally dependent upon eachother. He still has feelings, obviously but what you have to figure out is if it's mainly lust or love. He's trying to manipulate your mind by getting you to think about whether or not it's true that you aren't dating anyone else b/c you still have feelings for him. He wants you to want him back. It's tricky b/c he wants you to be genuine too. You lied and then when you did fess up he was upset that you lied. Holding back your feelinsgs could also be hurtful to him so be cautious. You have to decide what you want first before you talk to him. Basically your options are: friendship, a dating relationship or no relationship at all. Whatever you choose, you MUST be honest with him when you let him know. And it would be kind to also tell him why. If you still have feelings for him but you have a gut inclination that for whatever reason you shouldn't be with him, then don't ignor that. Tell him you need time and be honest with yourself. Think hard and figure out what you need. Is it attention, is it fulfillment, or is something else amiss in your life. If you want to be with someone and it's not specifically him then don't go back to him. It will hurt, because he will be able to tell if you truly love him or not. He's an intuitive type and he wants you and him to be true to eachother. You need time to heal... give yourself all the time you need to gain clarity and control over your emotions before you make any major decisions.
I wish you all the best.
2007-09-08 22:07:13 · answer #2 · answered by Corcia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a really confusing situatino. It's hard to understand, but it really sounds like he's sending you mixed signals. That being said, my advice has nothing to do with his mixed signals.
From experience, it is never a good idea to have an on-again/off-again relationship. Your relationship with him ended for a reason. Even if you can't remember that reason now, you will once you start to date again. Trust me! It will come up. No matter how much he apologizes and tells you he loves you, the past can't be erased. It's much better to just move on from the relationship.
On a side-note: You're making it harder on yourself by talking to him on the phone. If you decide not to get back with him, give yourself a few months of no contact with him. I know it will be hard, and you don't think you can do it, but with support you can. that gives you a chance to get over the initial pain, and then if you want to build a friendship, you should be strong enough to do so without the feelings re-surfacing.
2007-09-08 21:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by Been here before 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are both playing games. In your case, you are trying to protect yourself, but games are games. If you actually want to try again with this guy, you will have to be honest. I'm sure he doesn't get you if you tell him you're not into him then turn around and say you are. To complicate matters, he's apparently doing the same. You two can dance around each other, be honest and see where it goes, or just move on. Those are your options. You will have to choose a course and stick with it. He may not want the same thing you do, but you can save yourself some frustration and upset by finding that out sooner rather than later.
2007-09-08 21:59:08 · answer #4 · answered by detailgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright....look, this guy is only interested in seeing if he can play with your emotions. The longer you run after him, the more fun he will have watching you squirm. Get a clue...stay away from him...don`t talk to him for a month and see what happens. I guarantee you one, won`t feel as bad as you do now and two, that he will have moved on to playing someone else. Don`t give this kind of person any encouragement. They are not worth your time.
2007-09-08 21:55:55 · answer #5 · answered by ozimandius009 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did u guys break up in the 1st place if he still loves u ? If u feel that u guys will break up again, then get over him n move up. Dun consider going back if u have no confidence in him. Its kinda weird that he got upset when u revealed ur true feelings.
2007-09-08 22:00:11 · answer #6 · answered by EnAjOe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he was upset because he opened up and told you how he feels about you. Guys are a bit nervouse with opening up I guess he wanted you to do the same. You played it cool to avoid being a sponge he probably thought that he did'nt mean anything to you and you could replace him easily.He was upset because he just told you that he loves you and misses you and you did'nt show similar feelings. If you really want to understand him try to place yourself in his position how would you feel if he would have answered you the same way you did?
2007-09-08 22:07:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you both love and miss each other, why in the first place did you break up? If you love each other, what ever problems you have, you can resolve it. One has to give in. Pride just destroys relationships. If you don't love each other, or if you do but can't address your problems (because of pride), better not get back to each other and move on. There are others out there who can make your lives better. Just don't rush.
2007-09-08 21:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by Grampa Hann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say see if he is willing to give you a second chance. You might have to be a little more affectionate to him to let him know you care.
If you do get back together make sure to dedicate time to him and you relationship. Just let him know your there for him.
It seems that you both like each other so get back together, however just be careful that he is not just using you, because I know that hurts when you find out someone was.
2007-09-08 21:57:16 · answer #9 · answered by Nate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to sit down and both talk it looks like he finished with you in the forst place as you was not showing intrest in him or thats what he though.(unless thats his exsuse).
I think you should talk about getting back together but make it clear what you want and how you feel otherwise it wont work and more importantly be honest.
If yu love each other and are prepared to do it it will work
good lluck hunnie
2007-09-08 21:56:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋