I knew this when we met. Is it wrong of me to hate to deal with the whole baby mama drama? His son is really disrepectful towards me i try my hardest to be nice to him however he likes to name call me ex cow, *****, etc. He really misbehaves when he comes over to my apartment sometimes even kicking my dog when we are in a store he runs around the store like a maniac and wont listen. If i try to correct him my Bf gets mad at me and tells me let him do what he does hes a kid! Several times hes even hit his dad! We were at a wedding 3 days ago and i got yelled at by someone who works on the ship he told me that i should be watchin my son that hes running around like crazy unatained i was speechless i literally started to stutter i believe i swallowed my tongue! My Bf wants me to play a momie role but i cant have any saying in discipling his son i just feel like this is not my responsiblity and to be honest it s to the point that i just really hate being around his son. Anyone with advice
2007-09-08 19:45:02 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you are not going to be able to accept this child as he is or your husband to be isn't going to insist that his son respect you or enforce your discipline than I wouldn't get married. This is his child and he isn;t going to go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-09-08 19:53:27 · answer #1 · answered by motherofthree 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Been there! Married 13 yrs, he had a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Now 14 and 16. If you don't stop the disrespect now, it will only get worse. My advice would be to not marry this man and get as far away as you can. If this is how you want your kids raised someday, then stay. I've been with my stepkids since they were tiny and dad always thought it was funny to let the oldest sass me. The kid is now out of control and doing things he shouldn't be doing because his real mom is too stupid to notice and won't even talk to me about the situation (can you say immature?) Over the last 13 years, I have had many occasions where I thought about divorce because it doesn't get better, only worse. I love my husband and he is very different with our kids, because I have taught him better, but something about my stepkids, he just lets it go. I have told my daughters that they should NEVER even date someone that has kids already when they get older and definately don't ever marry one. They have seen me cry my heart out so many time because of it. It really isn't worth it. I hate to say that, but you really can't change it. The kid has another mother that he can run to, therefore, he has no need for you. Mom always wins, even if she sucks.
2007-09-09 02:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by belleebuttons 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard to deal with obnoxious children. Sit your BF down and be firm tell him it has to be the whole package or none at all. Because u r going to need his support if you say go and he says stop it is too confusing for his son and then he knows he can mess with both of you. Once ur BF & u have an understanding sit his son down and explain to him about the house rules. Set up a calendar with his name and put stars for all the times he behaved and then all three of you can do domething fun at the end of the week or whenever. If he doesn't take away 1, 2 or all of his privileges. It will be hard at first but you both need to punish him together for the first few times then you can try individually but he has to know he is not in charge. IF your BF is not for it , sad but true you have to move on with your life or have a miserable life instead.
Good luck
2007-09-09 03:01:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to sit down with your boyfriend and agree on disciplining this child. If you're thinking about being with this guy long-term and possibly having a family with him, this isn't going to fly. The child is out of control and clearly disrespecting you. When he's in YOUR household, you both need to set limits. You can sit down and agree on what is acceptable and what is not. He should be willing to compromise. Besides, even though he's not your child, he shouldn't disrespect you. He's also in YOUR space under YOUR care. You have every right to keep him in line.
On a personal note, my friend Jonna got pregnant with a man she was dating who had 2 children. They ended up splitting up before her baby was born because she thought he was an awful parent and they didn't agree on how to discipline the kids when they weren't at their mother's house. The guy was completely immature for his age and still liked to go "party with the guys" all the time, get drunk, and show up at his pregnant girlfriend's house wasted. Needless to say, he was a real loser. Anyway, assuming that your bf is a good guy, he may just need a little help in the parenting department.
Definitely try to make a plan on how to punish his son when he's being bad. It not only will help you guys, but it will help him too. It will be difficult, as he sounds like a tough child to control, but at least he'll learn that when he's in your house, he can't get away with stuff.
2007-09-09 02:55:33 · answer #4 · answered by Cochy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your Bf won't discipline his son it is only going to get worse. And your BF will always choose his son over you.
Think about how much you can tolerate. If this is bad now can you face marrying your guy and being stuck with the child forever?
Talk to your Bf explain how difficult this is for you and why. If he is not willing to correct the situation you might consider leaving.
2007-09-09 02:54:03 · answer #5 · answered by blueink 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are WITH your BF?
Does that mean you are living with this self-serving, mooching lout?
You are being used as an unpaid babysitter!
Kick the whole lot of them out of your apartment until the BF straightens up and either marries you or moves on! Get him off dead-center either way!
Don't sell yourself short!
Making friends with his little brat is the last thing you should be concerned with under these circumstances.
2007-09-09 02:59:32 · answer #6 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋