I just found out that my boyfriend has been doing coke behind my back?

Question

I'm so confused right now but im going to try to explain the situation as best i can everybody's help is much appreciated. k here it goes. I have been dating my boyfriend for a long time over a year and before we started dating he told me he had a really bad drug problem he did so much drugs, Im talking everything except for crack. But then he almost overdosed and he used to tell me the story like it was yesterday that he thought he was going to die and from then on he never did it, Then we met and he never did drugs just drank, smoke weed and smoke cigarettes. (none of those i don't think of as bad because they are so common) I have never done a drug in my life so i dont really know much about this stuff but the other day he told me he did 1 cap of e. In my head i was mad but i never got mad at him because he told me and you know its his life but then he did coke behind my back and then his friend said hey weres your boyfriend i noticed he had been gone for a while

so i went to find him and he looked really guilty so i asked him did you do coke. and he at first lied but then eventually admitted to it i was upset inside i wasn't going to make a big deal about it because he said he did a little just to sober him up, but then i said im so glad that you told me the truth and he told me stuff i didn't want to hear that he had done it 4 other times behind my back. I don't know whats happening to him. We'll im pretty sure people are just kind of pressuring him to do it and he has such low self esteem that he is easy to persaude. whats the affects of dating someone who does coke? what happens and is it wrong of me to break up for someone for this reason alone?

i do really love him, but what happens to people who do coke? can it ever be a recreational thing, i thinking no but searching for hope

and i should probably add in all when all my friends were doing coke, e, shrooms even tho i never did it i was always there when they did it and it got me really upset, it hurts me to see people hurt themselves someone said i might be able to save him by leaving him, what do i say?

I know i would never do drugs i have already i have been around them alot with friends but im sure its still a problem dating someone who does coke

Answer 1

Where do you get the idea you have to have a reason to break up with someone? Its your life and you can break up with anyone anytime you want for no reason at all. You dont need a "legitmate" reason. If you arent content or happy with a situation you have every right to walk away. If you want to give a reason just say the relationship isnt working for you.
If you stay with this guy be prepared to be his babysitter, caretaker, provider, mother etc and expect nothing back from him except pain.

Answer 2

He is a loser. Dump him. If you don't want to say to him it's because of the drugs then blame it on you needing some "girl time".
Seriously. I am far from innocent. I can remember once being at a party and I heard my DEAR friends were doing coke. I left. When you get into the hard drugs or you hand around others that do them pretty much the rest of your life is wasted. Jail, crime, and much much time. I am not judging you just advising there are plenty of straight clean cut males out there so don't lower your standards for a coke addict.

Answer 3

Just move on. You don't need that crap in your life. If he can lie that well about something as serious as coke use for 3 years, then trust me, this is a guy you will NEVER be able to trust. You can't make a relationship work if every time 20 bucks is unaccounted for you wonder what happened to it? and if it has something to do with drugs.

Answer 4

He STILL has a drug problem.
Even without the Coke he has a
problem. Liquor, and Weeds
will make him want more Drugs.

It won't be long before you'll
be a Druggie to.
Right now you're blaming other people
for his drug problem. No one could make
me use again if it almost killed me.

Take a look at your life to be,
because his life might be a BIG part
of your life.
Decide.
It could mean your life.

Answer 5

Alcohol, and weed are drugs. Crack is coke, you just smoke it instead of snorting it. Alcoholics can't just say they aren't going to drink anymore, then just get high. Drug addicts can't just drink and smoke pot. If you don't believe me go to an N/A, or AA meeting and talk to some people that have dealt with drug, and drinking problems. It is a disease, so I won't tell you to just dump him, but, eventually he is going to have to deal with his disease, with or without you. Him doing it behind your back is like an alcoholic sneaking out to get drunk. Either way good luck to you, and do it, take a few hours of your time and go to a meeting.

Answer 6

You're right, you don't understand anything about drugs or drug addiction. There's a good chance that he's a drug addict (still) and he won't stop just because you want him to. If he doesn't really want to stop, he won't, no matter what you do or say.
Do you really want to put with an addict as a partner (trust me, you don't, it's worse than you could ever imagine)? You should seriously think about leaving him. You're in way over your head here.

Answer 7

Hun, there is NO pressuring this guy into doing these drugs, he is doing them on his own, with his own will, he wants to do it, or else he wouldn't have hid it from you and did it behind your back, If he did it behind your back that many times, I'd drop him, it's only going to get worse from this point on. He might say he is going to quit but most of the time they don't!

Answer 8

If you care about him and do nothing , then you are acting as an enabler. Tell him that you do not approve of that lifestyle and that if he gets help to fix it, you will be supportive, but if he chooses not to get help to stop or just stop,then you do not want to be around him, because it will only get worse if he continues to use drugs,

Answer 9

Weed once in a while okay, but then coke. Thats crossing the line. Question him. Tell him there is no point in doing it.

Answer 10

50% of the world's population is male.

Find a different one.

If this guy is going to send his life down the river, you don't want him to take you along. And no, by this I don't mean that he is necessarily make you become an addict too -- but you may end up feeling like you need to take care of him.