I'm 18, 19 in october. I'm from Puerto Rico so I think I'm legal in the U.S. Well I'm planning "running away from home" but I'm gonna turn 19 soon so I'm already an adult so I think that is not running away but just moving. I wanna move to LV to live with my boyfriend, but I know for sure that If i ask my mom she wont let me go even if I'm 23. I'm happy with my family, I don't have any problems with them, i just want to do something new and different with my life and well i wanna move with my bf to LV like in january or february. But i'll leave in secret. no one of my family should know this cause they wont let me go ever. so the question is, If i move to LV and my mom call the cops to look for me, they can't bring me back home right? cause I'm the only one that can make that decision cause I'm an adult already, right?......
2007-09-08 19:21:28 · 13 answers · asked by Ume ★ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm not going to get married with my Boyfriend. and my boyfriend is mature enough. I mean, it's not like I'm gonna go live with a high school boy. He's 27 years old. and no he's not some freak. I know him very well and I completely trust him. He's such a sweetheart and he cares about me a lot. He's been working really hard only for us to live together. He told me that he would come to my home and talk with my parents and etc. but it's better not to do that cause I know my mom perfectly. she will think i'm crazy out of my mind and won't even let me go out cause then she may think im gonna run away!
2007-09-08 20:04:50 · update #1
Oh and of course I'm gonna call my mom or send her an email. and when i get enough money I will visit her. I wont leave my family in the dark forever. I will keep in touch with them.
2007-09-08 20:07:33 · update #2
I know what I'm getting myself into. Yes, to be honest I'm a little scared but I'm tired of not being independant. I just want to do something with my life and well I want to move from here and that opportunity has come now and even better from my boyfriend.
It's not that I'm hiding the relationship from my mom, I just havent thought about telling her. But now that I think about it, it's not a good idea cause well he's 27 so that will be too old for her. So yeah i have to keep it a secret too then.
Thank you all for all your answers.
2007-09-08 20:16:09 · update #3
Umm You are an adult, 18 or 19..so when you're ready to leave...or once you get there...You owe your parents that respect to call and let them know what your plans are, sorry that this is upsetting /hurtfull for them, but this is something you need to do and if you told them before you left they wouldn't allow you to leave,...so you had to leave on your own without telling them(if that's your plan)...But you definately have to call them and let them know you're ok...tis not fair for you to just leave and not call home, of course your mom will worry herself sick and call the cops to look for you...so save her all the worries and heartaches/headaches...and call her yourself, be the ADULT you're claiming you want to be and are trying to be...and let her know in a polite way, that you Love them all, but you need to do this for you, its the decision you've reached, and you hope they can accept that and continue to love you and be there for you~ Family is Family*
I still think you should at least TRY to sit down with your mom face to face and explain it all to her....let her know you know she doesn't approve, ask for her reasons.........has she met your boyfriend? does she not like him? why?? or does she not even know of his existance? if not why are you keeping that a secret* I'm sure your mom is looking out for your best interests and yes at some point she'll have to let go of you to make your own choices/decisions...Give your mom the benefit of the doubt, give her a chance to talk with you openly and honeslty........at least the cards are on the table and everyting will be out in the open*..you never know, she may just surprise you and support you all the way* not fight with you bout it at all. She may even help you pack and make sure you have everything you need etc.
Keep the communication lines open as you only have one family and they will always love you unconditionally....so you don't want to leave on bad terms~*
Best wishes*
2007-09-08 19:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear, if you want to do as you wish, then begin by acting like an adult. Running away, living with someone else [you can't support yourself! ] leaving your parents in the dark, forcing them to 'look for you', these are not adult responsibilities.
As much as you may wish your freedom you, right now, can't even take care of yourself. IF something happens to you along the way, in a year, two years and you need to go back home' or 'ask your parents for help' is that a right thing to do? YOU are the person whom is wanting to be a 'adult'. Why bring this on them now and/or later? Would it be your parent's fault because YOU made a wrong choice? NO.
Parents say NO for a reason. Trust that reason; they have already lived in your age bracket. Give them credit for knowing something and to have raised you! If you decide to run away, be prepared to work, work and work somemore, for yourself. Don't make someone else support you. You are forced to rely on someone else's decisions. You may not like them after a while. What will you do? You will be alone there. The BF may dump you, hopefully not, but that may be 'life'.
Much luck to you!
2007-09-09 02:46:53 · answer #2 · answered by caves51 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can have 100 boyfriends but you will have only one mom and one dad. Think about how worried and scared you mom will be. A mother's heart will never stop worrying about her child even under good circumstances. No guy is worth leaving your parents. If he was a real man he would go to your parents and say I want to marry your daughter and spend the rest of my life with her. We were thinking of moving to "where ever".
Think about it you will be in a new place what if your BF left you who would you go for help? What if you needed to talk to someone who would you call? IF you are happy with you family then be honest dont be a thief in the night and run off. When you tell your folks you want to marry and move away and if they still say no at least you were honest. When you do leave after telling them they wont be hurt, disappointed or worried as much had you not told them. Family is forever men will come and go.
2007-09-09 02:34:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Puerto Rico is a US possesion and considered part of the US. There are no travel restrictions between the island and the mainland and if you are a Puerto Rican citizen, you are a full US citizen, not an immigrant.
Also if you are 18 or older, you are legally an adult and you mother cannot force you to return home. If you have reason to believe that your parents would try to force you to stay if they knew you were leaving, the by all means leave in secret, but send them a note letting them know you are alright so they don't worry about you. But if your family isn't irrational, then just tell them you are leaving. You are an adult, they don't have to like you going.
2007-09-09 02:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Legaly, you can go. I honestly don't think you should tho, this can cause so many serious problems for you and I don't think you can appreciate the repercussions of what you are proposing to do. I was in a very simmilar situation at your age, I'm even boriqua, from Bayamon. The parallels are giving me goosebumps! I changed my mind about doing this same thing and now 10 years later I look in retrospect how badly that would have wrecked my life.
My life and family now would not exist and I would not give up my husband and children for anyone.
There is a lot to be said about contemplating the effect of your actions and making the effort to make a wise choice. Can you do this to your family? They will be devastated more than you can imagine.
I hope the best for you hon. Dios te guarde. If you need someone to talk to let me know.
2007-09-09 02:35:54 · answer #5 · answered by June 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviouly your family does not "approve" of your boyfriend or you are hiding the relationship for some reason..that is why you want to 'escape'..Honesly, I think if you hurt the people that love you the most, you will regret it.... Think twice before you make such a serious decision because if you do decide to leave, you won't be able to turn back the clock!! And your family may not want you back cause they may feel they can't trust you...Talk to them as an adult and hopefully you all can work out a solution...Good luck...
2007-09-09 02:31:15 · answer #6 · answered by broker472000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok yes as a puertorican girl myself yes ur a legal citizen as far as it goes with running away to go live with your bf dont do it !!! Dont ! Run away and get ya own place by ya own self. I made the mistake at the age of 18 moving in with my high school sweet heart made the mistake and paid for it big time the only thing i can advice is that if ya gonna move do it alone date him keep it simple ;) and yeah your an adult ! Growing up in a puertorican family that are old school is though trust me take it from me ! My mother and father were so strick too strick but youll manage alone
2007-09-09 02:56:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, move away from home. Work anywhere you want. Get some real world experience.
Your mom can't have you hauled back home at this point in time.
However... I do not recommend living with a BF. First of all, you are removing any impetus for him to marry you. Secondly, you are not only providing him with all the benefits of marriage, but you are taking on all of the responsibilities and risks. After "X-amount of time" (different states have different standards) you are considered common-law married, though you don't have any rights. If he gets into a major accident, you can't pull the plug on his life support if he is a vegetable, and you can't collect his life insurance, and you WILL get stuck with all of his hospital bills... get it?
Find some room-mates to share an apartment with, establish some good ground-rules and take care of business.
2007-09-09 02:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you're right. You're an adult and they cannot force you to come back but let me tell you that if you want to live like an adult, leaving in secret is not being an adult. Be honest and tell them what you are going to do.What do you think they'll do? Lock you in your room? No, they can't stop you. They may get mad but that's okay, it's your life but I don't think they deserve to be treated the way you are treating them.
2007-09-09 02:30:17 · answer #9 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your asking these questions and so concerned about your family, then it's my opinion that you're not ready for such a big step.
Try moving out of your parents house to somewhere local and see how that works out.
2007-09-09 02:31:04 · answer #10 · answered by B C 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋