I've always had this plan that I wanted to have be a young mother simply because my mother had me at a decently young age (21 to be exact) and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I see that it was a growing process for the both of us and right now as she's heading out of her "midlife crisis" I'm so glad it didn't happen when I was a kid or when I was in high school. I'm turning 22 this February and I feel ready to settle down and start a family. But my family is telling me that it is nearly impossible for me to do that straight out of college. That I need to have myself "established" and "secure."
My boyfriend and I have talked seriously about getting married and having kids "someday" but I haven't really specified when to him. How should I go about telling him or should that even be a concern of mine? Am I an idiot for wanting this?
2007-09-08 18:55:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You really need to put much more thought into it. After you have children, they do not go away when things go wrong. They are a life time commitment. Just because your mom did it at 21 doesn't mean it is right for you. Things were way different 22 years ago when she had you. The world is tough now. Many gangs, drugs, murders, etc., etc., etc. You need to think about your child going to school, watch the news, see how unsafe it is for children going to school now. Thank goodness my child is still in elementary school, and things are still safe there. At least the elem. schools in Alaska are still safe anyway. I will home school my child after elem. school. Things are bad. You need to be prepared to do more than just send your child off to day care or school. I am so lucky, I am a stay at home mom. I can donate all of my time and effort into my family, the way things used to be when I was growing up. That is what families need today. They need to forget all this bull crap about keeping up with the "Jones'" and having to have the best and latest and greatest of everything and have a stay at home parent.
Spend more time thinking of things and doing research into schools, and the activity where you live etc.
2007-09-08 19:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by tamlovinlife2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are in a relationship it is very easy to walk away and have a few minutes or hours even days to yourself. With children this is impossible. They are needy twenty four hours a day. This is a full time commitment no sick days no vacations no sleep. NOTHING. It is true your body will know what to expect in your pregnancy but even this allows freedom. Once the baby is outside of you its a no holds bar. Not to mention men arent very upfront about babies, children. Many dont want to change diapers or even help with the smallest of details. Do you really have a secure relationship b/c without a good foundation you may end up with a broken home instead of a happy home. It is great you feel like starting a family but this is a 2 person life changing decision. I think you are in lust with the idea of having a family and if you arent on the same page with your bf you are seriously off key. It is ok to go through life half assed but dont drag an array of children behind you just b/c you want a family.
2007-09-09 02:24:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to spell everything out to your boyfriend.
It will give you some insight as to where his head is at... really telling if he bolts.
You don't want to move in with him if he is not on the same page. You don't want to be having sex with him if he will not be there to take care of you and the kids.
There is a scientific basis that the younger the mother, the healthier the kids are long-term. Preferably under age 26.
I would suggest that you complete your education first.
2007-09-09 02:10:48 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're still young, I was in the same boat as you. I got married at 25, found out I was pregnant on my 27th bday and now have an amazing husband and an adorable 12 month old daughter....dont rush things. Enjoy life
2007-09-09 02:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by marcie1997 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience, I had my first and only child when I was 23, and I so wish I would've waited. We think we know so much at that age but I was still young and dumb, would've waited a few more years.
2007-09-09 02:23:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get married first.
2007-09-09 02:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dunno
2007-09-09 01:59:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋