2007-09-08 18:45:17 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
(((Tash and Lady Morgana)))
2007-09-08 19:48:48 · update #1
ah, but just look at those tomatoes for a second. (get the hot spotlight shining directly in the eyes) Are they not RED?? Are they not ROUND AND SMOOTH????? Do they SMELL EARTHY?????
(interrogator pushes sleeves up,leans in closer to the witness, who sweats profusely)
Do they not...(pause for dramatic effect) TASTE DELICIOUS AND DO THEY NOT SPILL THEIR SEEDS WHEN SQUEEZED?????????
(the crowd gasps as the witness collapses on the stand)
Are they not ...........GAY PAGAN TOMATOES?????
I rest my case!!!!!! LET THE SINFUL TOMATOES ROT IN THEIR OWN HELL, NEVER AGAIN TO TOUCH THE LIPS OF THE FOLLOWERS OF THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!
2007-09-08 19:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Morgana 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is not the FSM (Pasta Be Unto Him) who is responsible for the rotting of tomatoes. It is the careless inaction of sinful human beings like myself that causes innocent tomatoes to rot. My wife has been bugging me to prune back our tomatoes for over a month. Finally today I started. But alas, dozens of tomatoes have rotted because of my sinful disregard.
May the FSM have mercy upon my soul.
And how dare some suggest that the tomatoes themselves are to blame???
2007-09-08 19:38:12 · answer #2 · answered by Orpheus Rising 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because they refused to sacrifice themselves for a good cause - namely to become ingredients in a bolognese sause originally intended to be the FSM's spiritual companion.
Even wondered why it's called the Flying Spaghetti Monster rather than the Flying Spaghetti Bolognese Monster?
It's becuase of those pesky, selfish tomatoes, that's why! They ruined EVERYTHING!!!
I just re-read that I came to the conclusion that I am completely nuts and have gone craaaaazzzzyyyy
(((((Zilla)))))
PS. I'd star it but either my computer or Yahoo, not sure which, is having issues and won't let me :(
2007-09-08 19:00:01 · answer #3 · answered by . 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The ones the FSM allows to rot are killer tomatoes... mutants created by genetic engineering that have gone bad and desire to take over the world.
2007-09-09 04:08:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The FSM knows that said "innocent" tomatoes really aren't
RAMEN!
2007-09-08 18:50:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Fellow Pastafarians pray with me
Our spaghetti
Who art in the colander
Hallowed be thy sauce
Thy serving come
Thy strands be wrung
On forks as they are on spoons
Give us this day our daily meatball
And forgive us our starchiness
As we forgive those who are starchy against us
And lead us not into Kraft parmessan
But deliver us from Chef Boy Ardee
For thine is the garlic
And the onion and the bay leaves
For ever and ever.
Ramen
2007-09-09 07:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Because the FSM is fake! The IPU (bbhhh) is the one true creator of all!
2007-09-08 18:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by yelxeH 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Original sin.
Namely, Chef Boyardee.
2007-09-08 18:50:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋