should i tell my friend i'm having his baby?

Question

i have my own boyfriend of 6 years, since college. and i've known this other guy since May. i've slept with him various times throughout this summer, with no protection. whenever i have sex with my bf, we always use protection. so i'm pretty sure my bf not going to be the father.
the problem with my friend is that he's 25 and just getting his life together. he moved back in with his parents and is also back in college to get his bachelors in a year. he's gone thru depression, suffered from drug addiction, and lost all his friends cuz of that. but now he's trying really hard to get back on track. i met him when he was doing an internship where i work at during the summer. right now he works at Target, and I work for a big corporation as a financial analyst. so i don't know if i should tell him that i'm expecting his babyor keep lying and tell him its my bfs.

i am going to be honest with my bf and end our relationship. he has even mentioned jokingly that he can't be the father since we always make sure to use protection. and most likely he's going to end up relocated for his job but i enjoy living where i'm at. so i don't plan on going with him... i eventually am going to tell my friend that he's the father but i don't know when

Answer 1

You have a boyfriend then you met a guy; he's cool, cocky, and doesn't care much. He made you fell-in-love with him. Now you're pregnant. Your boyfriend uses protection, and he doesn't. So, you are sure your boyfriend is not the father. The problem is, you don't want to have your guy friend to be the father of your baby because you learned about his past.

Now, because you work for a big corporation as a financial analyst, I think that you should tell your guy friend that you're having his baby. This will let him know that he is a father sooner or later, whether he likes it or not. Who knows, you and your baby might be the answer to all his problems. Jesus came here for the sinners and not the saints, remember? And for your boyfriend, tell him you're sorry you cheated on him. And... please, be loyal to the father of your baby now.

Answer 2

So your thinking of lying to your boy friend of 6 years that seems to care about protecting him and you for a person that you barely know that obviously doent have any real concern for you.Lets see you got pregnant by a person that you say is trying to get his life together and neither of you thought it would be a good idea to ware protection.Hows that helping,got me a bit confused.But lets get back to your boy friend whats gonna happen down the road if he finde out the truth.Are you gonna try to make him financialy respossible for this child and let Mr.summer time fling get off free.I think you should step up to the plate and start telling the truth to both men.You actually no a bit about your soon to be ex boy friend,but are you sure about the new one could this have been a sad story to get what he wanted.Hes 25 years old time for him to be a man.I didnt see the add on you had about your boy friend hes moving on and you want to make sure you have someone to fall back on if and when he does hope he can get back on track quick.

Answer 3

I think honesty is always the best policy...even if it hurts alot. Your friend deserves the right to know that you are carrying his baby..sure he is not financially ready, emotionally ready...whatever. But on that same note he also did not wear a condom and you had sex multiple times without protection, what else did he think would happen? Babies come no matter if the time is right or not. Be honest with your friend...don't lead your current boyfriend on. I know it would be easiest just to pretend...but is it really fair for your boyfriend to support a child and love it thinking it is his own? It would be different if he knew the truth and still decided to do those things. You need to be fair to all parties involved.

Answer 4

WOW....First of all, would you like to have this to be kept from you? NO! So why do it to others?! You should be up front with both your boyfriend and the guy you've been sleeping around with. Why would you use protection with one and not the other? Most of all the CHILD!!!! You should NOT put a child through this....having the kid think one is it's daddy and then when it turns 18 or so have the kid find out this person it's called daddy for so many years is a NOBODY...you should grow up and get ready to face what's coming to you....
Get ready to lose someone who probably really cares for you and then raising the kid by yourself....

Answer 5

You are in a world of sh-- aren't you?All this brains you have and you did not use protection that is common sense especially this day in age. Anyways yes he has the right to know. It will eat at you forever if you don;t get honest right now. Besides the truth comes out sooner or later always does. Even if you have to wait til you go to the gates to answer for it.

Answer 6

Off the cuff I would tell you NO, dont tell him unless you see that he is going to be helpful instead of harmful to your child. I am sorry to be this way but I have gone though so much fighting for my kids that you could find that you are handing over 50% custody to an idiot. Now I do believe in fathers rights, but I also believe in being oppourtunistic when it comes to this. I have seen criminal fathers gain custody rights and corrupt the he** out of thier kids...so take your time telling him. See if he is even interested in hanging around you as things are...its sad but he will probably be his foot loose and fancy free self and not even realize. You need to see the movie Alfie...and go from there. Take Care sweety, and congrats :).-Rachel.

Answer 7

Oh what tangle webs we weave when first we practice to deceive.

You have a mess on your hands.

You cheated on your long time boyfriend with another man and now you are possibly caring his baby..

Someone is going to get hurt, you know that.

It is time to come clean with all.

It would totally not be fair to the current BF to make him believe that this is his baby and it would not be fair to hide the baby from possible the true father.

1st you really need to figure out who you want to be with and raise this baby with.

It really could boil down to loosing you current BF because he can not accept that you cheated.

We all have to be responsible for our own decisions and actions.

Ya messed up and now your going to be a mommy.

No matter who the father is, you are the mommy and now its time to grow up and do all the right things.

I truly wish you the best and honestly hope you have learned from this, sometimes our decisions are bad and we just have to suck it up and go forward.

Keep this motto under your hat, IF IT FEELS WRONG, IT IS!

It will help with you future decisions.

Answer 8

and what do you tell the boyfriend? Lies have a habit of catching up with you---what I don't understand is this.... you HAVE a boyfriend and you are ALWAYS protected with him, but you went out and cheated on the BF, you decided to have UNPROTECTED SEX---not just ONCE but EVERY TIME---did you NOT EXPECT to get pregnant????? Foolish girl... you SOUND like you are very intelligent but you have NO COMMON SENSE. otherwise you would not be IN this predicament at this time.... Do not lie to EITHER guy---you will lose your boyfriend and PROBABLY send the other one over the edge...but, you didn't get pregnant all by yourself....

Answer 9

well like the other fellow said you should of thought of that before hand. your taking a risky chance of losing both men here.although you use protection with your boyfriend its not 100 proof. the odds look in the favor of the other guy being the father being that u went raw but there is still that slight possibility. and who gives a **** about all the things this guy is going through?the fact of the matter is a child is coming and its not the childs fault!!! so **** his depression!!! whatever path you take,good luck!

Answer 10

My goodness you are a mess...How sad that you were so careless. I guess you care little about this boyfriend of 6 years. A mother needs character which you don't have. I would give the baby a chance and put it out for adoption in a 2 parent stable household. which you do not have now. I care about the baby, not you, or the other one you were doing...