How do I tell my neice in a non offensive way that she needs to lose weight?

Question

She is about 5 feet 3 and weighs about 200 pounds. She is almost 30, single, asian, and eats a ton of junk food. She is a beautiful person and I fear that if she lets her weight get any more out of control, that she'll have bigger health problems in the very near future. I want to help her lose weight but don't know how to confront her without hurting her feelings. help?

Answer 1

ask her to work out with you

Answer 2

Do you think your niece does not realize how big she is? She does, more than you know. She obviously needs help with her eating disorder but, unfortunately, it's not the kind you can give her. It will hurt her feelings and it may change your relationship with her. She is stared at every day of her life everywhere she goes. She probably cannot stand the sight of herself naked and she probably detests herself for being that out of control. She cannot help herself at this moment.

She is 30 now and needs to be a bit more concerned with her health. That may be your only ticket to a question or two! You might advise her of the way Americans see age and health! Laughingly tell her that as soon as American women turn 30 they run to the doctor as if they were on fire because they are so afrain they're getting old and it's showing! You can suggest she see a doctor for a complete physical examination plus EKG studies. Ask her, completely out of curiosity, if any of the doctors she has seen in the past have mentioned her weight in relation to possible heart problems. Be as non-judgmental as you can be here, you're treading on thin ice! If the family has a history of heart problems this will make it easier to understand your concern. Having said that, please act as though you ARE concerned and are only thinking of her. She may open up to you but if she doesn't, the conversation will end up to be a dead end street. If that happens, let it go.

If she sulks a bit after that simply reassure her of your love and understanding. You say she is a beautiful person...then, for now, allow her beauty to be what you see and not her size. Even though you love and care about her, if she's not ready to address the issue, it won't matter what you say.

Answer 3

If she is 5'3" and 200 pounds, your niece KNOWS she needs to lose weight. From that respect, there is no need to "confront" her. What you COULD do is provide her with an incentive to change the habits that are likely causing her weight problem. First, she needs to have a physical to make sure that there is no underlying health problems contributing to her weight. Assuming that there is not, you could "challenge" her to lose weight with a reward for not only achieving an ideal weight, but incremental rewards for significant milestones.

First have you spoken with her mother and father about this? After all, they will have MUCH more influence on her behavior that you ever will.

Beyond that, you may be asking, "How do I start this conversation?" I would suggest something like, "You know, I love you, ___. I'm sure your weight bothers you sometimes. You know I love just as you are, but IF you have any desire to lose weight and feel like you need a little incentive to help you stay motivated, I would like to help. Besides just being available when you need to talk, I would also like to offer the following rewards...."

Answer 4

Her losing weight is up to her. She's 30 ma'am. I know that you care for her, but she's grown. Now if she's having health problems then you can always address those and weight will automatically pop up without things being akward. But if she's ok at her weight then please learn to be ok with it too.
By the way, she might like this song.
My name is Tunette "Short Stack" Callis. I recently released a song called Baby Phat. It's a club song, but at the same time it is a song that inspires full figured women. I am a full-figured, thick woman myself. Well here is sample of the song:

The chorus:
Start from the outside and bring it on in,
It helps if you're thick, but you can do it if you're thin,
don't get me wrong, Imma set the record straight,
this is for the girls who done gained a lil' weight,
Now move, gone girl show me your thickness,
Now move, gone girl handle your business,
I love who you are, I love where you're at,
Ain't nothing wrong with a lil' Baby Phat,

If you'd like to get her a free copy then email me at [e-mail].

Answer 5

I know you care about her, but I don't think it will help your relationship or her to confront her about her weight. Believe me she knows she is overweight, and in the end it will be her decision to do or not do something about it. What you might do to help her is to suggest more active things to do together, maybe a bowling league or tennis class, hiking club, daily walks together, join a gym, or dance class. If SHE ever brings up the subject of wanting to lose weight, you might offer to buy her a membership to weight watchers or weight watchers online is also a possibility.

Answer 6

I GUARANTEE you that she already knows she needs to lose weight!!!!!!! I'm sure she feels terrible about herself and lacks self confidence.
Don't confront her. Ask her to join you for walks on a regular basis. Have others invite her to the gym or to exercise. Talk to her in very positive ways, tell her how great she is. If you say "did you know you need to lose weight?" (DUH, of course she knows) she will be more down and compulsive and probably eat a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's to make herself feel comforted.
As you join her in her journey to health be non-judgmental and non-confrontational. Be positive. Walk beside her. Try to talk to her about herself. Is she depressed? Does she have problems with being compulsive? These could be discussed, and could be helped with therapy.

Answer 7

There is no way for you to tell her she needs to lose weight without hurting her feelings. There just isn't.

However, you could silently push her in that direction by doing instead of telling. Invite her over to help you cook a healthy meal. Ask her to be your exercise partner. Make it seem like *you're* the one who needs *her* help instead of the other way around.

After she's been exposed to a healthy lifestyle, she'll feel better and may start making changes in her lifestyle without your prompting.

Answer 8

if you live near a YMCA the free classes there are so much fun! Try Zumba (a latin dancing class), kick-boxing, or power step w/weights! I love all three! AbCrunch isn't free but is only $6 for 6 classes! These will tone her up on no time! Offer to go with her b/c u think it will be so much fun and you want to spend more time to her! Good Luck!

Answer 9

You think she is unaware of her size?? There is no inoffensive.

Why don't you offer to go out for walks with her, go to the gym with her, or the like? That's a lot better than hey you're fat. She'll have a better chance losing the weight with someone being emotionally supportive, and encouraging her to get out when she doesn't want to.

Answer 10

Unless you are a really close friend i wouldnt say anything because if you say one bad thing you mite ruin the friendship. You gotta keep telling her that she is a beautiful looking person and remember people come in all different shapes and sizes. But for people that admit themsleves they are overweight you can do things to help her lose weight!

Answer 11

Offer to exercise with her, or you could sneak into her house at night and steal all the junk food in her pantry and replace them with healthy foods lol