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I'm agnostic and I dont really want to go to church anymore. I'm 20 but still live with them, I can't afford to move out yet, should I just go for them, or tell them I dont want to? How do I talk to them about this without everyone getting angry?

2007-09-08 14:27:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture Etiquette

15 answers

1) Open your mouth and say the words.

2) Get involved in amateur theatre (that'll give them enough of a shock!) - you usually have to use Sunday for rehearsal... :-)

2007-09-08 14:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by fooles.troupe 7 · 2 0

Since you're still living under their roof (20 or not), you pretty much have to abide by their rules.

However, there's no harm in asking them what they would think if you stopped going to church. Don't be confrontational, keep it pleasant but let them know that you feel uncomfortable in church as you don't consider yourself Christian/Catholic/etc. anymore. Discuss why you don't want to go with them and what you would do otherwise (more time for studying, job, etc.). You may be surprised at how understanding they are if you keep it calm and open-minded.

If they really, really want you to go to church however; weigh the pros and cons. If it genuinely makes them happy to see you go to church, an hour every Sunday isn't a lot to sacrifice when you consider that they're giving you a place to stay, money, food on the table, etc. If they're willing to listen to you and take it into consideration, then don't go. You're an adult and are able to make these decisions now. :)

2007-09-08 14:41:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

You have to tell them that as an adult, you have your own choices and it doesn't make sense for a non-believer to be sitting in a church, not to mention hypocritical. (You could turn the tables and say that they wouldn't attend a wicca gathering.) If they still insist, they're in denial. But all you have to do is not get in the car. What are they going to do? They might get angry, but if you approach this with respect and logic, then you can't help how they react and you've done all you can. Don't add fuel to any argument they try to start. Keep your composure and let them vent. But don't go.

2007-09-08 15:42:03 · answer #3 · answered by Opal 6 · 0 0

Well, you cannot be responsible about the way your parents might react or how they might feel.
Try this though:
Who's going to feel worse in this scenario?
you going to church when you hate it and don't believe in it
of them because you might not be measuring up to their expectations?
You're 20 years old and whether or not you are living at home, YOU ARE A 20 YEAR OLD MAN who can choose whatever he wishes in many way irregardless of you still living at home. You're legal in the eyes of the law, you can vote, you can drive, you can sign contracts, you can serve in the military.
You should respect your parents enough to abide by their house rules to a point however, Good Grief, you're grown up enough to state how you feel and do that in a nice way.
You certainly don't owe them THAT much!

"Mom, Dad, you guys can't imagine how much I appreciate you for allowing me to continue to live here until I can get on my own, but I really do not have any feelings at all about going to church and rather than be a hypocrite, I just do not want to attend church with you anymore. I'm sorry if that hurts you in any way but I have to be true to my ownself."

2007-09-08 16:36:16 · answer #4 · answered by autumlovr 7 · 0 0

You are 20, that makes you an adult, if you don't want to go to church, then don't go. Just say, "Ma, Dad, I am agnostic and I really do not wish to attend church." Nuff said!
If they are the kind of people who would kick you out of they're home because of your religious beliefs, or lack there of, then they are not very God fearing people themselves are they?
You could also tell them that you understand their disappointment, but not their anger.
You may be their child, but you are also your own person with your own ideas about things, and as I said, an adult who is capable of making his own decisions.
What ever you do don't raise your voice or sound like some whiny kid.

2007-09-08 14:51:06 · answer #5 · answered by bender_xr217 7 · 1 0

I am in the same situation at this moment. I am Buddhist but my parents are Christains. Today I just told my mom flat out "I am not going to church, I am grown now so you can't force me but I still respect you." You might cause anger no matter how many times you try to avoid it. My mom is noy angry anymore because she knows that I'm serious and wont back down. Best of luck to you!

2007-09-08 14:52:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

least confusing thank you to do it fairly is to make her lose her faith. the least confusing thank you to do it fairly is prepare that Mormonism is irreconcilable to the e book of Mormon. i could bypass during the argument that 2 Nephi says that purely the devil teaches that there is not any hell to pull human beings to an eternal hell, on an identical time as Mormons instruct that there is not any hell--purely 3 heavens, the worst of that's previous all comprehension. study Luke 20:27-38 and then ask if Jesus improve into mendacity approximately this. understand the question being asked, so she won't be able to easily bypass to the inventory Mormon reaction. study Gospel concepts ch 40 5 so as which you will triumph over the way that maximum Mormons weasel out of this one. study and understand a million Corinthians 40 two-40 seven and assert which you come across it stressful to have faith that we preexisted via fact of that. she would be in a position to surely convey Jeremiah a million:5, which fits somewhat properly interior the Hebrew if God had a plan for whom he mandatory to construct. good scriptures in this line of reasoning are Ephesians a million:5, Romans 8:15, John a million:12, and Galatians 3:26. purely tell her which you do not have faith that the Christ she is following is the biblical Christ, in step with danger she would be in a position to call the residing house-instructors and the bishop; you could have a mass apostasy. Say which you're helpful that it extremely is fake; there are a number of circumstances of family participants rejecting participants of their family participants for leaving, and you do no longer desire that to ensue, considering which you adore your loved ones, yet you do not have faith that Christ improve right into a liar, so which you're specific that households won't be in a position to be jointly constantly.

2016-10-04 05:46:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Tell them how you really feel. Life's too short to be dragged along in misery. Tell them what you think of their church. If they are true Christians they will let you make your own choices, as they are throwing you out the door:)

2007-09-08 14:34:30 · answer #8 · answered by JeffG 3 · 2 0

If you explain that you feel like a hypocrite going to church when you do not believe, they should accept that. Tell them that you will think about what you believe and maybe do some studying, but that you feel it is your responsibility to be honest with yourself and with them.

My mother accepted that, although somewhat grudgingly, and she was a Methodist Sunday school teacher.

2007-09-08 14:42:56 · answer #9 · answered by auntb93 7 · 2 0

U are a legal aldult now. Have a calm mature aldult conversation telling them u will no longer go to church sevices. If they get mad let them but leave them alone if they get whiney.
Thats all I got.

2007-09-08 17:03:41 · answer #10 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0 0

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