IF THIS IS TOO LONG FOR YOU THEN DON’T READ IT!!
I just had a heart to heart with God a few minutes ago. I told him I honestly didn’t know what I wanted, I’m 21 years old and I have never been with anybody in my life, kind of makes you loose all hope after a while doesn’t it. I am so pissed at the man whose suppose to be my soul mate, I’ve been everywhere, work, city bus, mall, college, store still nobody. I went to a wedding last Saturday, it was the most beautiful I had ever seen but my jealousy took over, I wanted to be in that bride’s place I wanted to experience what it would be like to walk down the aisle with my father and to the man of my dreams. To cut the cake to throw the flower at the girls, to make invitations, when I got home I realized I was never going to be with anybody. My grandparents and parents got married at 21 I lost all hope. I don’t want to be married at 25 or 29 and be 50 years old by the time my child is only 10 years old. I have stopped caring about my appearance lately since I don’t really have anybody to look good for. I don’t really pray much about it that much because I find it very difficult to do so, asking for a man is so hard to me probably because I feel it will never happened, I asked God to show me a sign, but I still feel so uneasy, I have already accepted the fact I will stay single, but what I wanted to ask was, where in the bible does it mention the gift of singleness?
2007-09-08 14:14:02 · 21 answers · asked by A Decade Ago 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
This question relates to this question:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AomsCkWxeBlYNj_lMms2fhjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070908093246AAyeZeU
2007-09-08 14:14:54 · update #1
to Joe: that si sooo mean, im looking for advice not insult, she knows if she was in the same shoes as me she woudnt that type of rude answer, so horrible
2007-09-08 14:29:46 · update #2
gosh all these good answers make me want to cry, thank you guys so much
2007-09-08 15:26:32 · update #3
If you feel this sad now, you don't have the gift of singleness.
I have the gift of singleness cuz I don't want someone in my life - and it would totally clash with my future. All my friends are dating and are totally attached to their boyfriends - but when a guy asks me out, I just say no. I'm a high schooler, but people shouldn't take my decision less serious because of my age.
My gift of singleness makes me happier than I would be married. That's the point of it. It sounds like you don't do so good alone. If you choose to be single because you can't find anyone, you'll always have the feeling it isn't right. DON'T GIVE UP on trying to find this guy. You are obviously made to be with someone. Pray you will find him soon.
I'll pray for you! :)
2007-09-08 14:45:37 · answer #1 · answered by Petina 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What is the "gift of singleness"? Never heard of it. It's only a gift if you WANT to remain single, and you don't want to, right? So, get out and meet people, make it known that you're looking for a boyfriend and I guarantee you'll have plenty of matchmakers willing to hook you up with someone. Make a list of what qualities you want in a lifelong partner. That will help you focus your energy on what you WANT instead of what you DON'T WANT and you won't be sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and imagining that you're an old maid at 21. That's young! Be grateful that you have your youth, energy, intelligence, and other good things. Gratefulness makes you a more positive person and people will be more attracted to you. Write down everything that you are grateful for and you will find your focus changing from "Poor, pitiful me," to "Hey, life is pretty darned good!"
Oh, and throw your jealousy in the trash can. A beautiful wedding doesn't guarantee a lifelong relationship.
2007-09-08 14:36:05 · answer #2 · answered by Antique Silver Buttons 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You really need to stop wanting to be married so bad. You need to start focusing on something else. Just go about your life and make friends, guy and girl friends. Eventually one of those guy friends will turn into your soul mate. When your grandparents got married, it was a different time and it was common to get married at that age. Not so much anymore though.
I don't understand how if you got married at 25- your child would be 10 at age 50- unless you wait a long time to have kids (having kids at 40, is not very healthy for you) or unless you have a lot of kids.
Just chill out and relax and let it happen. Stop looking for him, let him come to you. When you act desperate, the only guys who you will atract will be jerks, and you want someone decent.
2007-09-08 16:00:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Congradulations! You're a perfectly normal and healthy woman.
There are several verses in the Bible where God mentions He has already chosen our mates. He will bring him to you at the best possible time. You are doing the right thing when you ask Him for a husband. He arranged for my wife and I to get together - as an answer to her prayers. Ask, believeing He will answer you. This is just another way that God asks us the same question over and over - "Do you trust Me?"
As to the jealosy thing - not cool - but again, perfectly normal. One verse from the Bible says "a wife is a gift from God". Just think about that...He's arranging you as a gift for your future husband.
There is no such thing as too much prayer. And God accepts our prayers - good or bad - as long as we're honest with Him.
May God bless you in your search, cousin.
2007-09-08 14:23:48 · answer #4 · answered by "Ski" 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sorry have a short attention span so couldn't read all that. Tried to , it didn't work.
I am 29 and still single. I want a wife , but have given up on searching for one. I figure when the right one comes along we will both figure it out. Right now I just make do with enjoying my friendships and family. I love them all very much and enjoy being around them and socializing with them very much. That is enough to get me by until my true love comes along.
I would recommend the same for you. Enjoy life as much as you can. Sooner or later you will be with one of your friends enjoying the day and maybe meat one of their new friends and fall in love. Something like that might happen.
2007-09-08 14:32:02 · answer #5 · answered by RedBirdofChaos 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your searching too hard. Stop looking for someone and it will happen. It would be nice though to take care of yourself. Hang in there. Your really not old at all! I never gave birth to my first child untill I was 23 and I'm so glad I waited. My friends all had babies and I felt like I was missing something, but I wasn't. You handle things much easier just being a few years older. Be patient and things will happen.
2007-09-08 14:21:35 · answer #6 · answered by shari 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
We are all called to marriage, either Religious or earthly marriage. A celibate priest or nun are married to the Church and the latter to Christ. They are witnesses of our true destiny, which is the marriage of Christ to his bride-the Church. Earthly marriage between a man and a woman is just a "roadsign", a glimmer of the true and perfect marriage in heaven. I'm 19 and I'm always been single, but I know that God has an awesome plan for me and he does for you to. Trust in God, for he loves you so very much and knows what is best. Keep praying and seeking God's will. God bless!
"I say to those who are not married, especially to widows: It is good for you to stay single like me. However, if you cannot control your desires, you should get married. It is better for you to marry than to burn with sexual desire." I Cor. 7:8-9
2007-09-08 14:22:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Bummer.
I married at 35, have two kids and will be 55 when my son turns 18. Hope my gray hairs won't shun me away from him.
Abraham waited 25 years for his promise...
Caleb waited 85 years for his inheritance
Would you rather wait for that perfect man God picked for you?
One lady I knew was getting impatient at 19. I told her God had to prepare her to be a wife as well as preparing her husband. Then I prophesied that this preparation time would be two years, then she would know. Almost to the exact time, she met her future husband.
Just so you know, my mother married at eighteen. Both sides, my grandparents married in the early 20's...
Divorced twice. Refused to follow that path. Went on God's timetable, not my family.
2007-09-08 14:24:00 · answer #8 · answered by n9wff 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your only 21! Don't worry about marriage. Play the field. See what REAL guy type you like. I'm 23 & I'm not married. My mother got married when she was 23 & she brought my brother & I up saying first your education, then financial security, then find your woman. BUT she never said don't date in the mean time. See there's your plan & then there's God's plan for you. Which plan do you think is going to happen? God does things for you in his time. When he knows you're ready. Relax. Don't worry about it. Or go to Adultfriend finder on the net.
2007-09-08 14:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by Concept Styles 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You did read Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in God and He will give you the desires of your heart." Delight in Him. Confess that you'd like a life partner to share your love for God with, but that you want only the one God wants for you, and you want him in God's own time and way. Ask what He wants you to do right now while you are waiting, and follow what He says.
So why are you questioning Him? Be patient! He (the One) is not ready for you, yet. Stop trying to do His work.
You are scaring me because if you prayed like you said and waited only a few minutes expecting instant gratification?
Whooo!
2007-09-08 14:25:41 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥JDub♥♥ 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋