A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
2007-09-08 14:09:03 · 37 answers · asked by HEARTLESS 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Thanks buddy ! That was needed to plaster a smile on me face and to start feeling good about stuff.
Returning your favor with this one ..........
A frog calls a psychic hotline and the fortune teller tells him that he
will meet a girl who will want to know all about him.
"This is great! "replied the frog,"so will I meet her at a party or
what?"
"No,"says the fortune teller,"you will meet her next week in biology class."
cheers!
2007-09-08 14:17:31 · answer #1 · answered by datasprite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holler & Laugh out loud ! Here is a short favorite of mine:
Q: Did you hear about the constipated termite?
A: He couldn't pass his boards.
2007-09-08 14:19:17 · answer #2 · answered by Just Tink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O that was a good one! Thanks for sharing. For all you morons who don't get it, the monkey had to pass the cue ball when he pooped...if you need any further explanation, just hang it up, you'll never get it.
2007-09-08 14:57:14 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Raven 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That was the funniest thing I have read in forever!! I'm still on the ground laughing. Wow, you should E-Mail me some more jokes, whenever you get them, that really just made my day.
2007-09-08 14:18:11 · answer #4 · answered by mwfurtner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG !!!!! i was reading this out loud to my son - he's 22 - and it took me about 5 seconds to figure out why he was laughing so hard at the end !!
Good one - it definitely made me bust a gut
2007-09-08 15:18:03 · answer #5 · answered by bassetfreak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whoa that monkey got problems but is very smart ha ha totally funny now im really bored
2007-09-08 14:16:41 · answer #6 · answered by skeletalgrlforeverwaiting 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! 10!
2007-09-08 14:16:55 · answer #7 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol... i feel bad for the poor monkey
2007-09-08 16:38:41 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Lil love lady ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to be certain a humorous action picture. I went to be certain solid success Chuck final weekend and it replaced into stunning and humorous on the comparable time. purchase her some thing from the concession stand and circulate delight in!
2016-10-18 09:18:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
smart monkey
2007-09-08 14:15:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋