What happens? Does he have to go through some sort of legal procedure before he can take the baby or can he just take the baby home from the hospital.
Also, in this situation, mom would not be able to get out of paying child support, would she?
2007-09-08 13:52:08 · 16 answers · asked by thetigersnameistony 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
I am not really in this situation, but I was watching a movie and got curious. If the answers below are correct it just proved to me that there really are some double standards related to parenting for fathers and mothers. If a man wants to give a child up for adoption, mom doesn't need to get an attouny to get custody of her child AND even if dad signs his rights away he STILL has to pay child support....atleast in NY anyway. I understand why the laws and systems we have are in place....but there sure are a lot of problems with this system.
2007-09-08 17:51:47 · update #1
I why is it so out of the ordinary in the USA for a dad to want to have sole custody of his child. Mylilsims answer was really proved to me that our countries veiw of dads just fuels this problem if you ask me. If I stated that I was a man who was having a child with a woman and want to give the baby up for adoption because I want no ties to it....including financial, I could imagine the names folks would be calling me.
A man can't choose to give up his responsibility, but everyone gets so upset when the man doesn't handle his responsibility...in fact we throw them in jail for it. I'm not saying we shouldn't do so, but I am saying that everyone has a story, but it seems we are more forgiving of a womans story.
(I'm female, FYI)
2007-09-08 17:59:10 · update #2
mylilsimms even put the thought in her head that a man wanting custody of his flesh and blood and wanting child support could be out of revenge. Interesting right! Whats funny is I have seen this be the case for many woman, but society would shun me if I said so outloud!
2007-09-08 18:01:28 · update #3
then he needs to raise his baby! Sadly too many courts and agencies are ignoring fathers rights!! heres some examples:
http://babyselling.com/
http://onlineathens.com/stories/111806/news_20061118037.shtml
http://www.saskatoondad.com/
and heres one who never got him back and is searching all these years later:
http://www.myspace.com/ghostwheels
2007-09-08 15:17:24 · answer #1 · answered by Gershom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When the Mother is placing the child for adoption The father needs to also sign papers to give up his rights to parenting. if this is Not what you want and you refuse to sign you can petition the court to have the child taken into your custody and you raise it. however Mom as others have said would NOT be paying child support or even have contact with you or the child if she does not want to.
You should really think this through if in fact you wish to fight this adoption and take on the responsibility of parenting this child totally Alone.
You will get Nothing from Mom. It will be All on YOU. Are you prepared for that?
Are you doing this because you really want this child?
or are you doing it due to feelings for mom either good for instance hoping for you two to get back together and hoping the baby will help with that
or bad hoping to get revenge against her some how perhaps by keeping the child to punish her some how maybe you live close and it would cause her to see the child and go through huge issues of hurt knowing that she made her choices that she done.
and then attempting to make her pay since you mentioned making her pay Child Support I have to wonder just what your reasons are? not Judging mind you Just wondering
I mean obviously you two must not be together. She is obviously carrying your child and she obviously is under the impression that you and her are not the best choice to raise this child. So I have to wonder why you wish to fight what it is she has decided. believe me the choice to place a child does not come easy. it is not something you just DO It takes a lot of thought and love to do that. So why not give her what she wants in regards to this child?
2007-09-08 17:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by mylilsims 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure about the child support issue for the mother. But I do know that the father needs to provide support to the mother throughout the pregnancy and document the support with receipts or checks to prevent an adoption. Adoption agencies are extremely aggressive in trying to show that the father has "abandoned" the mother and child.
If you are in that situation, I recommend that you get a lawyer and save every scrap of evidence that you are supporting the child and mother. You may want to make a video of you saying how much you want your child while holding up receipts of payments to the mother. Also, if your state has a putative fathers registry, get registered today. If you do not register, adoption lawyers may be able to screw out of your rights to your raise your child.
2007-09-08 14:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a difference between custody and adoption. If you have custody, the other person pays child support. If the child is outright adopted, all parental rights are gone and you do not have to pay child support.
That's here in Georgia anyway. My friend who lives in NJ, and he is a guy, has custody of both of his boys and the x-wife does pay child support. Men do get residential custody, it's not a myth. It's decided by a real judge in a real court, not a script in a movie.
2007-09-12 12:37:43 · answer #4 · answered by midnitrondavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The father should be able to get custody of his child without going to court. All the mom has to do is terminate her parental rights to the child and the father gets automatic custody. If the mother tries to put the child up for adoption and doesn't tell the father and the father can prove he didn't know anything about it then he can contest to the adoption and the mother's rights will be automatically terminated.
2007-09-09 10:43:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you would be able to get custody but you would have to go through the courts. Mom would be able to get out of paying child support because she signed away the rights of being mom, that is why she wants to put the baby up for adoption she soes not want the resposibility. If she had to pay child support she would still have the responsibility so what would the point of putting the child up for adoption be?
2007-09-08 14:01:45 · answer #6 · answered by all4godsteam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And now: another perspective. I used to work with a man in his early 20s whose mom wasn't speaking to him. He couldn't stop his ex-girlfriend from aborting his child/her grandchild. Why is it the woman's sole choice whether the father even has this baby that he contributed to creating?
And yes, if he wants to abort and she doesn't, he has to pay support for 18 years.
Once the baby is here, the father has to go through proceedings to get custody, including proving it's his.
Fair? No. But that's what the legal system has set up.
2007-09-09 00:46:15 · answer #7 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would need to get a lawyer, the lawyer would know everything you need to do to get custody & possibly child support. If the mom is willing to give the child to you - full custody than the process should go somewhat smoothly. But you need to relize that since she wants to give the child up for adoption, she wants no ties to him/her - no responsibility, doesn't want to see the child, or have any financial obligations to the child. So you may have to go without the child support, & cut all ties with her, but look at it this way, it's better for you to have custody of your child with no child support, than for you to never see your child again. There's plenty of help single dad's can get from the government/state.
2007-09-08 14:04:16 · answer #8 · answered by tanner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mom wants to give the baby up but dad wants the child....mom signs her rights away and dad is the sole provider for the child....The good news is it can be done my son goes to school with a boy who's dad has full custody of him and he has never seen his mom........just be sure their is a female figure in the childs life because this little boy has dad and grandpa he needed a female that would show him love and that came from me....Good Luck!!!!
2007-09-08 14:35:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The dad can have custody of the child but if the mother signs over her rights she does not have to pay child support to the father or anyone else she is legally detached from the child.
2007-09-08 13:57:52 · answer #10 · answered by Jesmo 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She would sign her parental rights away and she would not have to pay child support. And yes there is legal papers for all of this. He can just take custody of the baby right from the hospital if his name is on the birth papers.
2007-09-08 16:26:37 · answer #11 · answered by cindy c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋