Today my family went to a church sale at a church I have occasionally attended for years. This woman knows me by sight, she does not know anything about me personally. After I had gathered my purchases, my husband ordered us lunch in the building and we sat down for a moment to eat.The dinng area is within the parameters of the church hall and frequently shoppers stop to dine and then go pay. This woman came into the room where my family was dining and visiting and stated " I am taking your purchases to be totaled. I will get a cart." I told her no thank you, that I would pay after my family finished eating. a few minutes later, she came up again and yelled at my husband that she was taking my things NOW.She stated I must be hiding something, or wating for the lower prices. It got loud. My husband offered to let the priest referee. This woman knew my ex-husband and liked him. I never told anyone that my ex-husband hit me and cursed me before I left him. No one's business. Any ideas?
2007-09-08 13:12:41 · 16 answers · asked by gerlawgoody1 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You cannot reason with people like her, it is impossible to try and exert rational human behavior over an irrationally behaving human.
You are a much bigger person than I, I would have stood up, gathered my family and left without buying anything as I refuse to be treated badly AND pay the person for the priveledge of being rude to me. I just walked out a restaurant the other day after being seated for the same reason. The delay in my meal was worth the loss to the waitress's and restaurant's pocketbook.
If you value the relationship you have with the church I do believe you should go and have a private conference with the priest and explain what happened and explain how hurt you are that this woman treated you this way. Especially in light of your contributions to the sale.
He will either speak to her, or avoid it and you can decide whether or not you should ever return.
Life is too short to allow people to treat you that badly.
2007-09-08 13:21:28 · answer #1 · answered by Gem 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
An Episcopal Church Lady I think! The priest won't do anything, I'm sure; so set this old broad up for a good blasting at the next rummage sale. Really let her have it in no uncertain terms, LOUDLY! Leave the kids home that day so they don't get burned by the fireworks. My experience is, that if you call the Harpy's bluff, she'll fold like a pile of warped prayer books.
Don't turn the other cheek in this instance, you are doing the Lord's work to protect others from the shrew.
2007-09-08 20:14:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, this is really convoluted. You might want to touch base with the priest, if it is worth it to you. They know there are two sides to every issue. The smart ones, anyway. He might want to know about this person, but he probably already does. These people are problems everywhere.
When I was in college and broke up with a girl, I was an outcast among a number of people who didn't know what was going on. I took a Spartan stand: I will not do my own P.R. But it didn't really benefit me. They found out in time and some asked me, "How did you put up with her for that long?" Don't try to hide these things. You feel like you're taking the high road, but it really isn't worth the sacrifice.
2007-09-08 13:40:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Older, ruder church ladies - I ignore them, that drives them crazy. When they insist on something, just say "whatever;" (which i know is extremely rude) this takes away their power and that really bothers them.
From my experience there is no reasoning with people like this. They grab on the small amount of power they have and torture people with it.
I am quite active in my church (I am 53) and many times people will ask me a question, such as how the tables should be set up, etc. I ALWAYS answer by saying, "whatever you think will work out best." I never want to get the "church lady" rep. by taking control of everything.
So the best way to handle these old bats is just smile and go on and do what you want. You won't get yourself all upset and it will drive them nuts.
2007-09-08 13:34:37 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though she made a right idiot of herself. Old age is not excuse for rude behaviour - by then they ought to know better. However,by making that sort of spectacle of herself, I doubt that anyone would take her accusations seriously.
I would call the church, talk to the priest and suggest he have a little chat with her.
The rest, i.e., husband, ex-husband, etc. No one's business now or ever. Up to you if you want to share with someone - I caution you on doing this, gossip can spread like cold butter on a hot scone in church communities.
2007-09-08 13:43:06 · answer #5 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously she has a control issue, while it's best not to judge, because we all have our problems "some are just more evident" She should be approached by someone she respects and have her attitude and actions addressed. Most often a pastor or a priest would be the best choice.
I hope your situation ends happily usually people like this have no idea how they look when they get worked up.
2007-09-08 15:04:52 · answer #6 · answered by apexnathan 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd just avoid her in the future. She's a sad old cow and you're not going to win an argument with her or get her to change so it's not worth your time.
I used to work in a grocery store and we had several elderly customers who were extremely rude and I think it was because they were going senile and didn't have anything better to do than bother people.
Sorry I don't have any better advice but I do agree that she was very rude and way out of line. I wouldn't bother telling her about your ex either. None of her darned business.
2007-09-08 13:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by luckythirteen 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with eating and then paying.
Could it be she doesn't like your husband, or perhaps she is a rude son of a gun and likes to create a crazy scene.
If the priest got involved, that is sad. His Job is to take care of souls and pray for them, but this just over did it. I would have avoided her at all costs, and would NOT have purchased the stuff, and just have left it there and got up and left. For shame on her!!
Sorry for the humiliation!
2007-09-08 13:18:17 · answer #8 · answered by Born Valentine's Day 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I would have stood up and embarrassed the h**l out of her.
I would of called the priest over and let him know what was said.
Sorry but this is what makes good church's look bad is a someone like this.
2007-09-08 15:28:43 · answer #9 · answered by Mustbe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that this happened to you. She must be early stages of senility, or just plain mean. I would call the church and explain what happened, and strongly suggest that they do not allow her to participate in future sales because she obviously is not fit to deal with the public.
Also, my sympathy for your past horrible marriage. I pray that your current marriage is much better. God bless you.
2007-09-08 13:33:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋