How do I get my children back?

Question

I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old up until May they were really great children always listened and mined . Now all of a sudden my 5 year old talks back has become lazy going to the store is hell with them to they wiil not listen they run all over the place. Bed time is the worse they share a room and jump from bed to bed yell and scream. I have tried chore charts simple ones like listen and pick up your toys , time outs spanking on the butt I am all out of options and I really want my children back to they were 6 months ago it seems like they are so out of control . I do not know what more to do with them anyone have any ideas?

6 months ago my son and daughter went to there aunts house and saw these children that live next to her being so bad
also ihave a 14 year old brother who treats my mom like crap and they see that all the time

Answer 1

Seems like your word doesn't mean much to your children. They think you're bluffing when you try discipline them. First of all I don't recommend spanking but I recommend taking away privileges and they will soon get it that you mean business. Take away anything that is near and dear to them. They will get it back once their behavior is acceptable. Don't be afraid to take away more than one item. Deprive them of TV or any other privileges they enjoy. Show them it's not a democracy in your home and your word means something. Remember discipline is about good behavior so when you see the behavior you want return the item you took away and praise them for their good behavior. Then hug them and let them know you love them and your are proud off them. Click my webpage below to learn more about discipline. Don't forget, consistency is the key. You have to keep this up and never give in to them.

Answer 2

What has changed in the past 6 months?
Understanding where this altered behavior is coming from could help you understand what to do.

Is there a new authority figure that lets them have their way all the time? This can play havoc with establishing discipline.

Has there been something upsetting in their home life? They could be acting up out of anger or frustration, or even fear.

Do they have appropriate outlets for their energy? Is there some time when they may yell, scream and jump around?

If there are not any visible causes, at 5, and probably at 3 they are old enough to understand cause and effect. If warning #3 is ALWAYS followed by punishment, and they are made to understand that their actions had this effect, it should help. The punishments should be sufficient that they really want to avoid them, but probably in the same categories you have tried.

There are always promises of rewards instead of punishments, too.

Having two children gives you the opportunity to have them compete. If the one who behaves the worst gets punished first, and knows the other gets to play because he was good, that could be an added incentive to be the one who avoids the time out next. Or the good one who gets the reward next.

As far as having your children back as they were 6 months ago, sorry. They do grow up. ;) Good luck!

Answer 3

I would spank there butts. You have to be very consistent. That is the key word. If you say if you don't get in your bed I'm going to spank you. Then you don't actually do it they will never believe you. You have to get off the couch and spank them. I'm not calling you lazy. I'm saying from my own experience. When my daughter gets out of the bed the first two times I remind her to get in the bed. No story, no drink , no nothing. I leave her with a warning. If you get our of this bed I'll have to spank your bottom and mommy doesn't want to do that. Then I leave the room after saying goodnight I love you. This way she knows that it is coming. So she makes the decision if she wants a spanking or not. I'm nice and don't raise my voice unless of course it's just been one of those days. I also have a 6 month old so yes I do go nuts sometimes. I also stay home all day so I really go nuts. But if you just stay consistent it will work. It may take some time but you will begin to see a difference. I also use the corner. Remember to keep them in there. Don't' let them look around or sit down. I put my daughters face in the corner and tell her to stay there. I then put the kitchen timer on for 2 minutes which is how old she is. If your child is 5 he should stay for 5 minutes. I know it sounds horrible. But discipline is not supposed to be fun. It is supposed to leave an impression. Good luck.

Answer 4

If they refuse to pick up their toys take them away for a few days. No TV (They probably picked up bad behavior from this too), no computer. Make a reward chart for each of them. Tell them that when they do their chores they get a sticker for each one, but if they scream, talk back or don't go to bed on time they lose 2 stickers. At the end of the week tell them that if they have enough stickers that you will let them have a treat, such as going to the $ store and picking out a new toy. If they lose stickers they don't get to do so. Limit their contact with your brother. If your brother likes spending time with your kids tell him that if he doesn't start treating your mom better that he cannot spend time with them because he is a bad influence

Answer 5

Consistancy is the KEY.....you don't need to spank them. When you tell them to do something and threaten them in ANY way, you must FOLLOW through with it. Warn them 10-15 before bed that it's bedtime soon, make sure you have a routine and stick with it. No matter how much they try to get you flustered and to give in you just can't.
They aren't listening to you because you're slacking off...for better words. It's hard to be a parent and do these things, but believe me they will enjoy themselves better and you will enjoy them better once they know where you stand. Magically over time, they just do what you say without a fight because they know that you mean it.
Good Luck!

Answer 6

well what happened six months ago? Something is at the root of this and you almost need to figure out what that is before you get them "back" but also they might need more responsibility than you are giving them and if they don't listen you have to follow through with your threats if you tell them, they will go to bed without dinner and they test you , do it! It is not going to kill them to go to bed a little hungry one night and I be tthey won't want to do it again also if you give a little you might be better off like in the Store (oh I have a 5,4,3 and 9month old) BEFORE you go in, in the car in the parking lot, tell them if they are really good and listen then maybe they can help pick out some of the things they would like to have (this is more for the grocery store) Save the isles for last though liek let them pick out one of the snacks or the cereal something small but it works for my kids and it is not bribbing them so much becasue you needed it anyway. Or if you have to go to a store like Wal-mart and they beg you for toys tell them you really don't have the money for it (even if you do) but you can check them out and they can see what toy they would like to earn, then have the chore charts and tell them if they fill up their charts them they might be able to earn the cool thing they saw. You should not bend over and giv ein but it is okay to make them Earn something but do not make it to easy for them to do and chores they should be doing anyway don't count it is the extra stuff like helped mom sweep or was really pollite and good the entire day---hope this sort of helps

Answer 7

Dont blame your neighbors kids or your brother. Its easy to see where the problem lies. The problem is obviously with a parent who allows her children to go out of control and starts blaming others, believes that her darling little children would never misbehave and if they do it HAS to be some one Else's fault.
This sounds like fairly normal little kid behavior, but you MUST gain control of the situation without anger or violence. The spanking suggestion is ludicrous. The only thing you will accomplish with that is admitting to your kids that you have lost control.
You need to concentrate more on their needs and feelings and less on their 'misbehavior's'.


Brooke: You should be locked in a cage!!

Answer 8

one is you need to stand your ground with them and do not give too much negative attention they get used to that and do not spank unless it is an absolute last resort. you can also try when he talks back I do not want to talk with you in this way and walk away not to the next room away from him and when he behave right with you give him all the loving attention you can be silly about it. use positive reenforcement. they will take notice keep at it. don't ever waver the minute you waver they will see that and not take you seriously. spoil them with love when they do right not when they do wrong. do turn the other way when they do wrong but keep an eye on them for safety. And trust me on this say alot of prayers it does help in the long run.

Answer 9

Has anything changed in your life that may be affecting them?
I would try regular sleep patterns, no caffeine or sugar, limit TV time and plan physical activities to use up their boundless energy. Simple rules and consequences- example- pick up your toys or you will be in time out. And follow through with it!

Answer 10

Spanking won't teach them anything except that it's okay to hit when you're angry. We always take things away if our son won't clean them up. When we go to walmart he has two options. Sit calmly in the back of the buggy or sit in the front in a seat belt. Getting up even one time warrants moving to the front. You also need to make sure they aren't eating a ton of sugar. Cut out sugar, sodas. additives and colors ESPECIALLY red color. I don't think hanging out with kids who are misbehaving just one time is enough to make your child emulate them.