How do I deal with my JW Family?

Question

Most of my family belongs to the JW religion :(
(Basically, every family member that lives in the same city, this include: My Parents/Siters, Uncles, Cousins, etc.)

I think I'm the only non-religious member.
I'm an Atheist, but I try to be tolerant of any religion.

Anyway its a little stressful during holidays, especially at thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, etc.

I love the whole holiday spirit and being able to gather together to enjoy the holidays. Just once, I would like to wake up and find a Christmas tree with gifts below it and my family gathered around it. Unfortunately this is something I'ved never gotten a chance to experience.

Should I just deal with this and accept the fact I might never get to experience a Holiday with my family?

Should I celebrate the Holidays with a friend and 'their' family?

Should I wait till I get married and celebrate with my in-Laws?
(Im 20 tho, so it might be a while...)

Should I try to Convert them to Atheism...?

myfrenzcallmeheath: I think you misunderstood...we don't have any...thats the main problem...

Q&A Queen, I think I'm open minded and I do attend some of their gatherings, mainly just so I can enjoy some time with my family...however I find its a 1-way street. They don't reciprocate the same attitude.

Answer 1

you know this is a general misconception of JW'S that just because we dont celebrate holidays that were not allowed to have funn

make a gathering or a party on a random day..that way they will be able to attend because its not a holiday

or youll can just plan a day out..ask them when they dont have a meeting and plan a day where yall just go out to the beach and stuff

thats what me and my friends do.i.e i had a party on july cuz i graduated, and we just attended a baby shower this sunday

oh btw i hope it works because you an tell you love your family because you even go to meetings for them

as for converting them to atheism...that might be hard to do if they have faith in Jehovah and his promises

Answer 2

I find it hard to believe that you've never experienced it? Have you not been to a friends house where they were celebrating it?

The reason I ask is because I was raised a Jehovahs Witness, and basically, you don't know WHAT to miss, if you've never celebrated it before. You described waking up to find a Christmas tree etc......well JWs have never experienced that (ones who were raised a JW) and they don't miss it, nor do they feel neglected in any way because they don't know what Christmas feels like.

When I was disfellowshiped, I sort of blended in with my girlfriends family (she, or her family were not Jehovah's Witnesses). I didn't want to celebrate Christmas (I didn't find it attractive even after being disfellowshiped) but it just kind of happened. Her family wouldn't dream of not having me around for Christmas and they more or less pressured me into coming. I felt un-easy and guilty about celebrating this Pagan custom. To me, it didn't feel natural. It was great having all her family together on one day, but that was the only bonus. It really opened my mind to what non Jehovahs Witnesses had to put up with at Christmas time. The stress, the arguments, the resentment etc. If you did a survey over who enjoys Christmas, then you'd probably get a 50 - 50 result.

Don't try to make them go against their beleifs, this will just cause friction. The main thing you are missing is the association. This can easily be arranged by telling your family. Jehovahs Witnesses in my area are always having social occasions, especially for the younger ones. They wouldn't even hesitate to bring you along if you asked....

Answer 3

If you are an atheist why would you want to celebrate the holidays? I don't get this. You don't believe in God but want to have a holiday that is supposed to celebrate His Son's birth. That's rather strange to me.

Do you know why the JW's don't celebrate Christ's B-day? It's because God never told anyone when Jesus was born. You won't find it in the Bible. You will find the year, date, time, day and even Jesus' age to the half year, when he died though. We see that as a very important fact, that Jehovah would make sure we know about Jesus' death, as that's why Jesus came to earth in the frist place, to die for us.

You will never get a Witness to believe there is no God. So forget that part of it. Your family knows something that you don't. Why not go to a Sunday meeting and see what the Public Talk is this coming Sunday. I think it would surprise you.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 4

You're not missing much I can tell you first hand.Been there done that. Missed Christmas somewhat at first years ago,and worked in houses as a painter etc,and to hear the downright lies told to kids and adults alike fixed that bandwagon for me and I lost the Xmas foolishness fast.Watching people go off their heads now to live up to the x mas merchant bonanza (a so called X Mas spirit) yea right.By the way you mentioned attitude ,have a look at that.Wish U well,step lightly remember there are lots of unblessed lambs around to lead you down the garden path.

Answer 5

You should think about this you are not atheist due to the fact you want to celebrate Christmas, and Easter. If you have studied and talked with your family you realize most holidays are pagan. They only celebrate the Biblical holidays. When you go to the memorial with your family its about Jesus death and raising into heaven. You need to study outside your family. Believe in The Bible right? Go to watchtower.org and find your own answers.Any questions there are Lot of us on the Internet if you don't want to go to the same kingdom hall go to the next closest. An elder would be happy to help you.

Answer 6

You might have a lil bit of luck trying to organize a 'family fun day' or something of that nature; just pick a random day in advance (maybe in the summertime or during the Christmas season, whichever will allow the greatest attendance) and work from there. I'm sure they won't have a problem with that. Outside of that, if you specifically want Christmas, halloween, Thanksgiving and other celebrations, you'll probably have to latch onto a friend's family.

Answer 7

I think the jw religion is very different, I have some family that are jw, they will always take. I think whatever you do, it should be for you. My mom always said " They may not care about what i did, but I know that I did the right thing for myself. I have no regrets. I always feel like a lot of religious people who go to church, seem like they look down on others, when in all reality they should not by gods standards. They should take them in and respect them. He wants people in general to treat others regardless of race, religion, poor, rich,etc as they were all the same in front of him.

Answer 8

If your Atheist, why is it a big deal to celebrate x-mas which is suppose to represent Jesus birth????

Don't you have any friends?

I don't see the problem. I'm sure your were raised as a Witness, so you knew ahead of time what your choice would mean. Your living the life you want, and they are living the life they want. Your family would not even consider disowning God to celebrate holidays they view as pagan.

Answer 9

Been there, done that...I was raised as a JW. I left a few years and it was the best thing I ever did.
I wouldn't try to force the holidays on them or get too agressive about changing their beliefs. That's just going to get their backs up and make them more stubborn than ever.
To save yourself the heartache and the arguments, I suggest to try to accept that this is just the way it's going to be with them. It is highly unlikely they are going change.
That doesn't mean you have to miss out on the fun of all the holidays! Let some friends know that you feel really alone at Christmas etc due to your families beliefs and see if anyone would be will to 'adopt' you so to speak. Someone did that for me and it meant the world to me.
You could even throw your own Christmas party and invite friends or non JW family.
When you get married, it'll be better...you'll have an actual family to celebrate with.
In the mean time...improvise! Good luck and I hope things go well for you. Feel free to email me, I know what you are going through...

Answer 10

Why (I dont get it) would it b stressful?

Yes, u do have to deal w/ the fact that u'll never get
a tree, gifts & family doing the holiday thing.
Just as I have to deal w/ my family...
that will never stop disrespecting Jehovah God;
And His Son, Jesus.
It's not a "might," it's a definite no, not ever.

If u want to involve urself in such self-serving, disgusting,
disrespectful, paganism; it is ur own free choice, to do so.

You shouldn't try to get any of them to Stop serving Jehovah...
do you want to answer to God, concerning ur actions,
attempting to turn some1 away from the one true God?

U r the only 1 in ur family that doesn't serve Jehovah.
I am the only 1 in my family that does serve Jehovah.
To bad we can't SWITCH!!