So...title says it all. My dad's a drunk, and has been since before I was born. Only recently (past few years) has he started drinking around the house. I don't really have the right to complain about him too much because he's not abusive and usually is just passed out on the couch. The thing is, I just get really angry with him. When I look at him, i get pissed off, i can't talk to him without getting angry, especially when I can smell it on his breath. And when he doesn't come home (he commutes) I end up doing all the housework that he usually does. He's outwardly admitted to all of us that he has a drinking problem but that was two years ago and he's not making any progress! The other week my mom said that I should congratulate him for going to two AA meetings, but I found beer cans in the way bottom of the recycling (he hid them) and when I opened the trunk of his car to get some groceries out he had a cooler full of ice and beer. It is just frustrating..anything i can do?
2007-09-08 09:47:55 · 8 answers · asked by SG22 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He's not abusive, he putting a roof over your head and food in your belly. Your Mom is at least tolerating him at this point (and this is really between her and him).
Oh, you have to do some of his chores when he gets home late? This is after he's been working all day? Oh, you poor put upon thing.
Kid, you're lucky you've got a father who has a job and supports the family. I'm sure a lot of folks would love to trade places with you. If you really don't like it, then don't accept his money, get a job and pay your own way until you can move out on your own.
2007-09-08 19:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by raysny 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately alcoholics can be very selfish people, as he isnt being abusive with anyone he probably doesnt realise he's affecting anyone else and the worst thing about alcoholism is that only they can help themselves.
You could try sitting him down and telling him how you feel. You say you're angry and I do understand but I think the anger comes from being upset with him for not putting in any effort to get better, you must have contemplated his death and you probably dont feel like you have the father you should have, maybe if you talk very openly to him the guilt may just be enough of a push to getting him into recovery.
If you cant talk face to face perhaps you could write an email or letter, even if he doesnt make the effort to get well I think you getting things of your chest may help you deal with a bit of your anger.
You must tell your mum about your discoveries in the bin and car and she must confront him about it, hes obviously trying to hide things but maybe the shame of you and your mum confronting him may make him come to his senses and get proper help.
2007-09-08 10:01:52 · answer #2 · answered by KeaneMiss 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He is going to do what he wants, most likely. As for you getting angry with him, that is up to you. Having given him your opinion on it, there is probably not much more for you to say. Take care of yourself and understand that while this is the situation you are in, you won't be in it indefinitely. Take long looks at the sorry example he is setting for you and don't follow it. Stay strong, and when you can, move on. Good luck to you.
2007-09-10 11:41:27 · answer #3 · answered by tuswecaoyate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dad is dealing with a void which he is filling with alcohol. You have every right to be angry and hurt, but you can't do anything about it. Just live your life, and be there for your dad. Try putting him into rehab, organize a intervention!
2007-09-08 10:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by nono 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Not much you can do, honey. Just wait it out and leave when you are old enough. Try to concentrate on the good things he does. He's not all bad.
2007-09-08 09:52:01 · answer #5 · answered by red 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok, hun listen to me now, because i DO understand!
your dad is an alcoholic... it's a diseaase, and he cant- or wont help himself... my mom is one... you need to open up your local phone book, and find an "Al- Anon" or "Al- Teen"... go to a meeting, and they can help you with your feelings... i promise!
good luck!
2007-09-08 09:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he needs to choose what is more important in his life his family or getting drunk and not being able to see his kids grow up or spending time with his wife. thats immature of him.
2007-09-08 10:02:27 · answer #7 · answered by nichole l 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
let him know how you feel.
2007-09-08 10:19:16 · answer #8 · answered by alex 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋