A couple of people that I knew have made snarky comments about my single status. An example of a snarky comment came from a former guy friend who I used to have a somewhat complicated relationship with, he was engaged to be married and we had our last conversation and I said something jokingly about him getting married and he said, "don't hate on me cuz I'm in a relationship." I took that comment as snarky and that he was rubbing it in my face the fact I'm still single and wasn't dating anybody at the time. He went to to say that he moved on and that I "need to move on and find somebody," "I'm afraid that I have broken your heart," Very condescending. 3 yrs ago, this overweight girl was newly married was asking me a couple of nosy questions about my singleness, "are you married?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" etc. Why do ppl think that they're superior cuz they're in a relationship while making single people feel inferior?
2007-09-08 08:40:09 · 15 answers · asked by mriley1996 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Some people judge their worth in part on who they can snag as a partner. We all do it a little bit in dating, but there are a few people who take this "validation by association" thing so far as to judge themselves based on how great of a person they can get to marry them, rather than by how well their partner compliments them.
To these people, they feel that someone who's single must not be worth much because they can't snag any partner to validate themselves with, when many single people are only still single because they'd rather find someone who suits them better than find someone they can show off to friends.
2007-09-08 08:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by Expat Mike 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that people are conditioned from birth to believe that being married is one of the top goals a person achieves in life. I sometimes think some people get married just because they think it is time to accomplish this goal. They compare this achievement to being as important as maybe getting a degree in college, or a really great job.
The thing they don't realize is that anyone can get married, it is not hard to do. Billions of people throughout time have gotten married...so why is it given such a "status" as some type of accomplishment? If it were so great how come over 50% decide later on they made a mistake?
2007-09-08 15:52:50 · answer #2 · answered by suigeneris-impetus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're being oversensitive. None of us who're married or in a relationship think we're better than you. Your former boyfriend by no means represents others, and you're well off without him. Next time you see him, or his soon-to-be bride, offer her your condolences for being stuck with such a creep.
As for the newlywed who kept asking about your marital status - some folks have a very, very hard time thinking of something to say in casual conversation, and blurt out the most obvious, not taking the time to think over what they were about to say. I'm almost dead certain she didn't intend to belittle or insult you. The proper thing to say when someone questions your relationship status is "No, I'm not hooked up with anyone just now, and that's okay." Then change the subject - ask how her new job's going, whether they ever got that new car she wanted, how they like their new apartment - and she'll be relieved to be able to talk about something she's familiar with - herself.
Once again - you're not inferior because you don't have a current crush. In fact, in many ways, you're better off than a lot of us who ARE in a relationship. At least, if you want to go out with your girlfriends, you don't have to beg or make excuses to some man!
2007-09-08 15:54:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you really think this is true? In fact, some married people have joked to their soon to be married single friends that once they get married, it is all over.
I think you may be taking these peoples comments too seriously.And the fact that only two people have said this to you should be an indicator that married people do not think they are better than single people. As long as YOU are happy, then anything anyone has to say should be of no difference to you.
Best,
2007-09-08 15:48:30 · answer #4 · answered by Ugogirl 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Now the whole ex thing, yes, that was very condescending. It sounds to me like he is just trying to make you jealous. There is noting wrong with being single....or maybe he is jealous because he is tied down? Some married people envy singles.
As far as the "over weight girl" (which I have no idea what that tid-bit had to do with your question?) Maybe she was just trying to make conversation. When I first meet people that's one of the first things I ask....Where do you live? married? BF? Kids? Its called getting to know someone. maybe she wanted to be your friend? Or maybe she doesn't like you cause she knows you think she is fat!! lol
2007-09-08 15:53:40 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the first guy was trying to make a clean break on that complicated relationship, and the newly married girl probably just had marriage on the brain because she had just gotten through months of planning. Perhaps they're not TRYING to make you feel inferior at all.
2007-09-08 15:45:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Probably they want to insult single people by saying they can get a boy/girl friend when the single people can't. It's pathetic ?? just coz dey found someone special doesn't mean all the single people can't
2007-09-08 15:45:35 · answer #7 · answered by Ben's Snake Pit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah!! i totally hate it!!! most of the girls that have bfs they think that they are hotter or better lol No! thats not true! Maybe im enjoying my single life? maybe i like 2 be single? im just not some kind of slut that dont care who 2 date.. lol so what?? doesnt mean im a loser.. Last week i was in the buss and there was a couple, the guys wasnt that cute.. And the girl saw me looking at them, but i wasnt even staring or something.. It happened Accidentally and so she tough that im jealous or something and im staring at her bf and she was staring at me and then showed me the middle finger! lol i was like "What the ...?" pff i hate it...
2007-09-08 15:44:22 · answer #8 · answered by Nina 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have a relation, I never met you, and you're telling me how I think of single people ?
I'm sorry to say so, you're prejudiced about couples.
I know lots of singles and I don't think they're better or worse as couples. Why should I ?
Maybe.... people just want to know more about you because they're _interested_ in YOU.
2007-09-08 16:17:51 · answer #9 · answered by Bart D 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
well it is just like snacks if some one does not want the same one as their friend the friend might think you guys were not ment to be friends.with your case i would have to say that they think because you are single it means you are confused when you could most likely get some one way before they could.just because you are single does not mean you are lower then them remember that.
2007-09-08 15:48:11 · answer #10 · answered by Hinata Hyuuga 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋