My life is falling apart. Help?

Question

I'm 13. My parents are divorced and my mom has started dating my dad's ex-best friend, lets call him Joe, who recently screwed my dad over. When I'm not there, she's living over his house, and when I am, we're over almost every day. She has her own dresser there, all of our board games, movies, and our stereo system. At night, I'm sent to bed at 10 so Joe can come over, and we don't spend any time together. And they've only been datin 3 MONTHS!

I can't sleep at night, cry all the time, and have depressive behavior at school. These are all completely unlike me. I've tried to talk to my mom about it, but she is cold and says i'm being 'selfish', then goes back and tells Joe the whole conversation we had.

Meanwhile, my dad says that i should move in with him during the week, so it won't screw up my schoolwork. I know it's probably best for me because i just can't handle it, but its going to be the hardest and worst moment of my life. My mom and i used to be best friends.
Help Me!!

Answer 1

Move in with your dad honey your happiness is most important at your age. It may make life a little easier to deal with and could be a wake up call for your mom and her "selfish" behavoir. Although her happiness is important so are your feelings and she should be more responsive to them. Talk to her first and tell her what you are planning to do and why.

Answer 2

1. Your salary most likely hasn't been raised because the Western world came close to the brink of economic meltdown a few months ago and it's still anemic. 2. If the money from your job is "somehow good," you should be able to get a car. With the big car companies folding and liquidating assets, there isn't going to be a better time to buy a car for decades to come. 3. To get friends, you need to find a community of which you can be a contributing member. Whether it be your career, volunteer work, an online forum that does activities in real life, anything. Take up a sport, join a paintball team, contribute some of your time to the Big Brothers/Big Sisters movement, ANYTHING that gets you out of the house and interacting with people on an informal level. I know things can seem overwhelming. The whole world can appear to be coming apart at the seams, with nothing you can do about it. I assure you, this is NOT the case. You've just lost a sense of direction, a sense of pride. You've stopped being proud of what you've accomplished, who you are, what you do, and this needs to be corrected because it poisons your sense of self-worth and casts a shadow over everything you do, say, and think. Sit back, reexamine your goals, and decide what's important. Lying to yourself about what you want is the worst thing you can do right now. If you want friends, go get them! If you want a career you can be proud of, earn it! All work is creative work when done by a thinking mind. The life you want is there, all that remains is for you to make it!

Answer 3

Sweetie, what a terribly awful period in your life you are experiencing. I'm sorry.
Mom is being selfish, putting her needs ahead of yours. If she saw Joe a little less, and spent quality one-to-one time with you more, that wouldn't be true. I bet she's so excited to be having her emotional (and then some) needs met, she's not thinking about what all this is doing to you.
If you go be with dad, you and he might be able to support each other. Hopefully he won't downgrade your mom's behavior, that'd be the worst thing for you.
Counseling is helpful for you. Try asking a school counselor first.
Best wishes for your and your family's healing.

Answer 4

Lets see what the complaints are--- 10pm bed time ---I had to go to bed at 9pm when I was your age... I don't see a problem --ok You need your beauty sleet or you will get black bags under your eyes...
From 4pm to 10pm we don't spend any time together-- your with your mother for 5 hours and don't spend time together.-- sure ya do...No problem... ...
Can't sleep and cry all the time..When you get to school you are tired --not depressed--tired...-- Nothing wrong with that -- caused by you not being the center of attraction and now gets some attention but not like it was.... It will all pass when you stop this foolish behavior..Nobody loves me--think I'll eat some worms.
Dear 13-- At this point in you life -- things changed and you are not williing to accept these changes.. So, I guess you will have to grow up earlier than necessary. But now it is necessary that you accept these changes and stop moping around like wet mop... Stop this behavior and get on with it... . ..
. ..

Answer 5

It probably would be better for you if you stayed with your dad. But, you have to have permission from your mom. Help her understand that this is really effecting your life. If your mom says no, you HAVE to stay with her because she has legal custody of you just like my mom does of me. Try not to feel bad for yourself though. Do things that make you happy like scrapbooking, listenin to music, dancing around the room, cooking, hanging out with friends, etc. Your mom is probably just trying to be happy again. When my parents got a divorce, my mom was soo depressed. She found a man she liked and got married without even asking me or my brother about it. At first I was mad, but then I realized how happy he makes her. Her life is 100% better. Now that she's happy, I'm happy. Who knows? Maybe this guy she likes is a great guy? You'll never know 'till you try to hang out with him and find out for yourself. No one can replace your dad, but there's no problem with having more than one. And remember....No matter how bad you think you have it now, there's ALWAYS someone out there that has it worse than you do. The Lord is with you. Good luck.

Answer 6

I think moving in with your dad sounds the best....your mom seems to be going thru some things that she is more than likely going to be very sorry for....and until things bottom out for her.....kinda like when someone gets hooked on drugs....she is going to keep trying to escape thru this relationship with this guy....I don't think there is anything you can do but let her know that this way of life isn't acceptable with you and you will miss the old her....let her know you love her but until she grows up....you need to take care of yourself.....at 13.....keep focused on whats important....your future....life always has lows....its how we handle them....keep your eye on your goals no matter what might be falling around you....sounds like your dad cares....go to him.....

Answer 7

parents go through periods of being screwed up just like kids. Mine did it when I was only 2. Go to your dad's and do your best. When the lust storm subsides (about a total of 6 months) mom will come to her senses a little and you can start to repair your relationship

Answer 8

1. You are being selfish, your mom deserves to be loved and have happiness.

2. You can spend the time after school until 10pm with her. Make a date with her to do something just the girls.

3. Yes, she tells Joe everything, they seem to have a serious relationship. She may even marry him.

4. Your dad just wants you so your mom will have to pay him child support, instead of him paying your mom. Don't fall for that power play.

Answer 9

ok dont listen to that chick about ur dad wanting child support. thats bull sh.it i would normally suggest having a calm non argumentative conversation with your mother, but looks like you've already tried... you do need to realize she needs and wants to have a relationship with a man... and it's not in your say who it is... dont let it control your life....even tho ur young.. you are your own person... stop concentraing on your mother and her boyfriend and concentrate on ur friends, school work and the rest of ur family... hmm.. try writing your mom a letter... letting her know that you miss your best friend, ur ok with her boyfriend, but u dont want to be forgot about ..ur feelings are real and she needs acknowledge them..if things dont change see if you can be happier living with your father...u just might be...ur dad can be your best friend too hon... he loves you just as much... good luck <3

Answer 10

is there some one you can talk to like maybe a teacher or counsellor to help you understand what is happening, maybe they can get your mom to take some counselling to ,no one else needs to know, but it may help you, sometimes parents do not think about what a divorce does to the children especially at your vulnerable age.