Do you feel it is the strong attachment to being "right" that causes defensiveness in regards to beliefs?

Question

Yes, a useless argument will be thrown out.

What causes us to feel attacked?

May I please have a taste of that Zen stick?

Ah, yes, do we trap ourselves with our attachment? How do we as humans focus on similarities rather than differences?

And God's Will would be Unity, would it not?

Thank You Bodhiboy, Thank you! Well said!

Shazzle, beautiful! I also feel asking Qs SO important! That is why I love this forum so...

Beautiful edit Bodhiboy, "opening the hand of thought" hmm........

Gaz, Gaz, Gaz....you thrill my heart so...thank you times one bazillion...

Answer 1

When we are attached to something, it is hard to let go. Some are so attached to what they believe, that letting go even for a second is very threatening. It could be equated to "pulling the rug" out from under them.
I speak from experience. I was once very attached to my beliefs, until a young wise man asked an important question that I had never considered, "Why?" It was very threatening at the time, and I didn't like it, but he planted a seed that years later would blossom and bring forth so much beauty.

Answer 2

Staying open-minded and open-hearted leaves us "open" to feeling and seeing. But openness to feeling, of course, can mean vulnerability; it brings with it the possibility of experiencing pain. Defending our constructed ideas about who we are and how the world works I think is often based in a less than conscious motive to keep us from such vulnerability and pain. But then that can of course leave us cut off from feeling much at all in a truly direct and innocently immediate way.

When we're little kids, we have to build models in our hearts and minds of how things work. We're designed to do that. But then there is the almost inescapable side-effect of coming to live inside those models, instead of in the world as is. And thereafter our models tell us in effect what to think. Our built up models are something self-interestedly self-perpetuating.

You know the very word "grasp" is used both to mean "understand" and "attach." It's just so easy to presume that we must hold tight to our understandings.

(I love it that a Zen monk friend of mine insisted on translating his Japanese teacher's book as literally, "Opening the Hand of Thought", even though his American publisher thought it was an awkward phrasing.)

On the other, um, hand, the word "belief" has etymological ties to the word "belove." If and when we know our beliefs and understandings as a kind of POETRY ... and our openness as a STRENGTH ... undefensive beliefs may open us again into direct immediacy and feeling ... and from there to a realization that open, vulnerable loving is ultimately the only true and living knowing.
.

Answer 3

Some people assume that it only means Christians or other religious people - not so. Many atheists/skeptics are as well.

Why is "right" in quotation marks? Why would anyone want to believe in anything that is not true? Something is only worth believing if it is correct, in my opinion. I think there is nothing wrong with some defensiveness, as long as you aren't trying to defend something with nothing, or if you are obsessive about it.

And for the people who were saying people cannot have logically evidence for believing in certain religions, you saying so simply means you are uninformed and know little about Christian apologetics, which frequently uses logical and historical evidence.

Answer 4

Yes, but beliefs are of the past and hopes for the future, there is a cure for that, a taste of the zen stick. In it's function there is no right or wrong. Only *WHACK!* It can not be understood, but it can be known.

Answer 5

Yes and no. I think it all stems from fear. Fundamentally, we all need to know (and be) what is right... Truth reflects upon our senses and makes us complete. When we're not "grounded and settled in the faith," when we are not sure of who or what to trust, then we are defensive about beliefs.

Finding the common ground does help to eliminate that fear... and using the words that another person trusts to teach them truth helps to open them up to more universal trust.

I see defensiveness as a sign that a person needs you to be trustworthy, gentle and committed to their welfare, no matter what. If you help to develop their inner faith from their own basis of understanding, then defensiveness melts away....

You can't go wrong with that.

As Jesus put it: "Agree with thing adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him." Validation goes a long way to helping people to become complete, confident individuals.

Answer 6

Society often teaches people not to ask questions. Even in the education systems, we are often trained to be brainwashed rather than to think for ourselves. The teacher tells you WHAT to think, instead of HOW to process information. Religion is seldom any different. This is unnatural. Even a young child asks questions all the time. (The "Why?" "Why?" stage of life!) Yet, this often irritates the adults and so they tell the child to hush.

Yet, as we look at Jesus and the way that He dealt with people, we realise that He encouraged people to ask questions. He did not force-feed anyone. In fact, He often - rather than give a straight answer - would tell stories / parables which were designed to make people think for themselves. To think for yourself you HAVE to ask questions. That is why Jesus often answered questions with questions. If you never ask questions you will never be able to truly understand the answers.

Therefore ... I would have to say that I believe that people get defensive about their beliefs for a few reasons. One would be that they have never been allowed to ask questions themselves. And so, when questions are asked they don't know how to respond and process them.

Another would be that their beliefs are all interconnected, like a house of cards. They think that if one of their beliefs is questioned then the whole house of cards might fall down. Their beliefs are so important to them that they need to protect that from ever happening.

Another would be simply that people don't really study the Bible and understand it as well as they should. In fact, I don't believe that ANYONE has it all right.

For myself, I am thankful to God for His love and His care for me, and I so appreciate that He has taught me to ask questions and to weigh things up against His Word. Not only am I learning every day, but I find that I often have to "unlearn" things that I was taught before. I am so glad to be on this journey to find truth. It all starts with having a relationship with God and allowing Him to teach us. Questions are not just allowed - but they are ENCOURAGED!

God bless you!

Answer 7

This is a very valid question, and it's a trap all believers (of all faiths) can fall into.
We are never "right", otherwise Jesus didn't have to come and die for us. Only God is "right" (always and ever, oh yeah, the Crab Nebula is pretty cool too).

Answer 8

Yes, that's strongly the case. The only problem is, when it comes to religious debate, theists have nothing scientific to back up their "correct" claims, so it's impossible to prove to the unfaithful. It makes the argument useless.

Answer 9

any attachment is a cause of suffering.
EDIT: sure, my dear, but you have to answer a koan first:
"is lotus?", I am eagerly awaiting your response, single word answers, are, I am afraid, not acceptable...
We are all brothers and sisters, literally (please read about scientific proof of that, it has to do with mitochondrial DNA) it means we all had one mother. We are all beads strung on a thread which is compassion and kindness, those who choose to cut the thread by their acts of evil, intolerance and anger and slide into a dark abyss make us all move closer to the void.

Please remember: Defining divides...

Answer 10

A difficult question to answer on a forum such as this one without raising enmity over the terms "belief" and "right". A fine question nonetheless.

As a Buddhist of course there are many truths and I prefer to be attached to the Path as opposed to be attached to being "right"...employing the 4 bases of Mindfulness, body .. feelings .. mind and phenomena in relationship with the 7 factors of enlightenment and the 4 Noble Truths in order to remain Mindful in order to protect myself by protecting others, by thus protecting others do we then protect ourselves...

How then does protecting one's self protect others..? By the pursuit, development and cultivation of Mindfulness it is in such a way that by protecting one's self does one protect others...

How then does protecting others protect one's self..? By patience, harmlessness, Loving Kindness and sympathy. It is in this way that by protecting others does one protect one's self...

By protecting others then it is not necessary to ever mount a defence unless it be to protect others...to thus be right, it need only be right for others...all else is Self and Selfish (as opposed to one's self...that is one's true self)..

Beliefs are thus unnecessary, being "right" is thus unnecessary...only protection of others is necessary...

Let us be thus Mindful and therefore protective of all..

A Buddhist...