What should I do?

Question

I lost my child at 14.5 weeks a few months ago. After a few weeks I kinda went back to normal, mentally. I think I just did'nt deal with it. Now, for about a month, all hell has broke loose. I think about it 24/7. I have nightmares almost every night. I feel guilty and unworthy of happiness. I get my feelings hurt very easily, because iam fragile. And I spend 95% of the time iam home, in the bed crying. I have no one to talk to. My husband is unable to communicate about it, which makes me think he blames me. But I did everything right. I quit smoking the day I concieved, and still have been quit. I havent drank in years. I was good to my body, slept right, ate right. I know iam my worst enemie. But when I try to talk to my husband he tells me I need to talk to "someone". I dont guess he realizes I am trying to talk to him. He will listen to me about it, but not talk back. I live 18 hours away from my family. I don't talk to anyone in his family because they are disfunctional. I'm alone

Answer 1

I want you to contact the hospital and ask them if they a group for grieving. You lost a child, even though you never held that child, it was still part of you. It is a death, and one that leaves you with alot of questions, that only someone that has experinced it can answer. Your husband is sad about this, but he didn't carry that baby, so does not understand how you feel, and never will. You could talk until your blue in the face, but he will not be able to understand your feelings. I hope you do this right away.

Answer 2

He is male and I can't sympathize with your problem for the same reason. Your husband may be suggesting that you find a person who is more qualified than him.

As for the situation, as you say, you did everything right but sometimes bad stuff happens. Neither you nor he caused the problem. It was one of those against the odds things that happen. Because I have no emotional attachment, I can say that you just need to put it aside as an event that has happened and continue with your life. If you are young, there is still time for another child. The only competent suggestion I have is to discuss the whole situation with your doctor.

Hope things work out.

Answer 3

my advice would be to go to some kind of counseling, you will never truly get over it until you deal with it. A counselor could help you to figure out what you need to do, or how to get through to you husband, I would also recommend that he go to counseling as well, or even with you.