nanna has cancer?

Question

My nanna has breast cancer and is in hospital, I live an hour and away and Im trying to see her as much as possible. She is really poorly at the minute and they can say for sure if she is going to make it. I just dont know what to say or do for my mum. I feel so helpless. My nanna is conscious but is very poorly. I just would like to know how you cope and what do i do? I feel so helpless

Yes she is on chemo, she has the stuff that went into her arm and now she is on the tablet form. They told her the tablet form would be less aggressive but she has been worse on the tablets that what she was on the stuff into her arm.
The nurse said I did really well yday and made her smile and laugh. I only cried when I walked away. Im just so scared it has spread. They say its an infection in her bowel but i think its spread. She is dying for a cup of tea but they cant give her one in case her bowel pops but i just think if she is going to pass away give her a cup of tea and give her some blood pleasure.

thanks Piojito_x its good to speak to someone from my nannas point of view. I dont let her see me upset. She is really funny at the minute and making very funny remarks which is keeping us smiling -- bless her xx

Answer 1

Hey girl!

I just went through this, and I can relate.

Now, here is a hard truth that I have to tell you...

Death is inevitable.

I know you are afraid, and do not want to lose her, but you must face all of the ugly, harsh realities that are coming. Her life is up to her at this point, and all you can do is exactly what you are doing...love her, and make her smile.

My Mom passed away a few months ago....this was something that I was afraid of my whole life. Girl I even asked God to let me die before her because I did not think I could take it...I honestly thought it would kill me. But I am STILL HERE, smiling, laughing, living, and working on enjoying life.

And about letting her see you cry...honey, she already knows how you feel, and she knows you cry about her condition. If the tears flow every now and then in front her then, LET THEM FLOW! I tried to do the same thing in front of my Mom after the Doctors told me she was going to die, and she basically told me that she did not need me to be strong for her, she needed me to be strong for me. People who go through what my Mom went through and what your Nanna is going through are amazing.....they have the most amazing grace under fire.

The most important thing: do not allow yourself to feel guilty. she knows you love her and are doing the best you can. I had to drive back and forth too and work....it was hard as hell, and there were a couple of nights that I did not go see her because I was so tired I would veer on the road....if you can, you may want to see if you can spend the night sometimes.

I am here for you...my heart goes out to you....if you want to talk, please contact me: [e-mail] or [e-mail].

Much love to you.

Answer 2

So sorry to hear that =/
Is she going through chemo? and you have no idea what stage they found it in?
I'm sure and hope that shes more likely to come out of it okay, with modern medicine and all... I don't really know about breast cancer but...yeah...
(I know what it's like..=/ being a 3 yr survivor...*worst experience of my life.. I thought I was a goner, chemo sux!, I was hospitalized for over 2 yrs... and was pretty lonely at first, my mom was sent away...shes a schizo,(haven't seen her in yrs) My nurses and a couple of good old friends were there for me, they helped me and cheered me up ^-^, so as long as they were there..and if my mom were too..I would've felt complete)
there isn't much you could do right now.. but it might make her feel better if you visit her often, and I mean..since you live far away I know it won't be easy...but if anything DOES happen (heaven forbid) , at least you managed to stay with her a bit longer, keep her company whenever possible... and talk lightheartedly...joke around, watch a movie together, ..something that will put you both in better spirits.. Make her something artistic,

some ideas:: http://www.craftbits.com/

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I got my chemo straight to the chest..it hurt like heck >_<
A cup of tea ,eh? sounds like a sweet idea, but since the prognosis is uncertain, best not risk it right now.

another good hint, is to try to keep positive,especially in front of her, tell her to fight it off, to not leave you, don't let her feel hopeless either.
Tell her how much she means to you, recall favorite past moments.. Make her a promise "if she agrees to come out of this"
I know it sounds silly.. but you never know.


Don't forget to talk to your parents about how you feel, they might be able to cheer you up.
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Continue bonding with her..if she does go, keep her happy during those last moments, I'm sure she'd appreciate that.

if theres ANYTHING at all I could do, or if you wanna talk more lemme know..okey? ^_6

best wishes to you all..and for her recovery

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear about your nanna. Visit her, touch her and talk about the things she wants to talk about. And, if she wants to talk about what she is going through, let her.