HELP... broken hymen ny accident or not?

Question

So...i´m virgin...i have a muslim bf and we´ll get married...we agreed that both of us will keep their religion so no problem here..., but in their religion, bleeding on ur first night is really important... i never had sex before, used pads , never tampons, buut once rubbed myself against the sheets and reached orgasm, without inserting anything inside... i didnt see any blood nor did i feel any pain...could my hymen be broken just because of what i did?...
i dont wanna tell my bf that some girls dont bleed even if they´re virgins, cause if i wont bleed, he´ll think i told it just as an excuse and had something to hide, or it was like a warning...
i tried examining myself in the mirror, but i cannot even tell...i looked online at many pictures, but i dont seem to have an opening which even looks like a hymen...as i know, normally u should see the interior part of ur vagina if ur hymens broken (probably in cases where there was a sever break), but i dont see it...can anyone help?

this is really important not for him, but for his family...and i would feel a bit embarrased towards him...

i´m not afraid of him, he´s one of the most loveliest people i´ve ever met...but it´s just a cultural thing...i dont wanna put him in a bad light...relatives will want to see the sheets, and if they dont, there´ll be a lot of gossiping behind our back...

I thought u guy´s help me with some advice :D ... ultimately i will have to go to the doc, but i really need some feedback

just to streighten things up... i am from western europe, a christian and my bf (future husband) is from the Middle east, a muslim... it´s not my culture, it´s his... we both have careers, graduated from university so we are not having old mentalities...but his family does...unfortunately... and there is also the idea that i dont want to cause him any trouble.

i didnt say it´s part of islam, it is just a stupid cultural thing... i looked at those diagrams, but none seem to match :(

i said it was important since virginity itself is important in islam, and u cant deny that

Answer 1

You probably did not break it if you didn't insert anything in the vagina. But it is true that some women just never bleed. Don't say anything now, but when he first inserts himself into your vagina, implore him to go slowly and carefully, that you are afraid. He will feel how tight it is. Then, if there is no blood, you will be able to say that it must be because he was so gentle, and praise him as a wonderful gentleman.

Answer 2

First off bleeding on wedding night is NOT PART OF ISLAM, EXPECTED IN ISLAM NOR REQUIRED. This is not a part of Islam at all let alone important. This is a messed up part of culture.
If he has a girlfriend the religion apparently doesn't mean jack to him anyhow so who cares.
If he isn't smart enough to know that not all (if not most) women don't bleed the first time they have sex then he needs to get educated in matters of sex b4 he gets married.
The hymen doesn't cover the entire entrance to the vagina. So 'normally u should see the interior part of ur vagina if ur hymens broken' doesn't make sense as you should be able to see the interior anytime you look, virgin or not. How do you think the blood gets out when you have your period if it is closed up by the hymen? maybe you need to look at those diagrams again.
And whoever said that the hymen is inside the vagina covering the cervix is completely wrong. It's like people have never read a book, inspected their own body or paid attention in school. No wonder so many teenagers are pregnant in America when they have no clue about their bodies.
They hymen is small. Not only does it often tear from activity other than sex some women are not born with them at all.

Answer 3

Not all women bleed the first time they have sex. As a matter of fact, and I apologize for not being able to cite this currently, most women do NOT bleed their first time. It is actually quite rare for a women to bleed her first time. Hymens come in all shapes. Some women's hymens will never break. Some were born with it not intact. I mean no disrespect to your culture, but the traditional Muslim world tends to have a profound misunderstanding of the realities of the female anatomy. As a matter of fact many Muslim women actually cut themselves before they have sex just so they bleed. You need to understand this is not a matter of your hymen at all. If you see a doctor, they can tell you what your hymen looks like, and that's about it.

Go here to find out about the different types of hymens.
http://healthystrokes.com/hymengallery.html

edit
If your relationship with him is as strong and open as you make it seem and the bloody sheets are for his family, then he should be reasonable enough to understand, as I said, the realties of the female anatomy. If you are concerned with his family, just wait until you get your period and bleed on some sheets, and hand it to them.

Answer 4

Hon, I would recommend you see a gynecologist if this concern is so great. Perhaps the bf could go with you, and allow the doctor to explain that an intact hymen is not positive proof of virginity (some hymens stretch enough to allow a penis to enter) and a broken one is not a sign of non-virginity.

Masturbation without insertion of anything will not rupture your hymen, but even if it did you would still be a virgin.

If you want to do your own research, start with WebMD.com

.

Answer 5

Only your doctor can tell you if your hymen is still intact. Some women are born without an intact hymen. Some women have their hymens break when doing some strenous exercise.

Virginity has nothing to do with an intact hymen. If bleeding on the first night of marriage is that important, I would advise bringing a small bottle of blood to spread on your sheets for that night.

Answer 6

No, your hymen wouldn't be broken because of what you did.

Whoever said the hymen is high up inside the vagina is wrong. It's at the opening, technically outside the vagina. Below is a link to some more information.

http://www.coolnurse.com/hymen.htm

Edit to add: (oops, I pasted the link twice so it didn't work - it's fixed now)

Answer 7

Yep, very big deal to Muslims.

Go to a gynecologist and the Doctor can tell you what shape your hymen is in and give you some advice about what happens when it breaks.

Be advised that my understanding is that sometimes the hymen does no bleed when it breaks.

I have heard rumors about women who arrive "prepared" to slightly stain the sheet on their wedding night, especially if the bride and groom engaged in some prenuptial experimentation. Not as uncommon as you might think.

Answer 8

In medieval times, women did sometimes have a small vial for boars blood with them to put on the sheet, as the sheet was displayed out a window to show consummation of the marriage... it was really more symbolic... the joining of clans.

But most women will not bleed unless they are treated badly...

Answer 9

There is nothing in the Quran that says that non virgins can not marry. What ever the reason for the loss of your virginity, it is not a requirement for marriage. This does not mean that you can have sex before marrige.

Answer 10

sweetheart dont worry about it. if you knwo you are a virgin and God know you are a virgin then thats all that metters, i am a convert to islam i was a virgin when i got married and i bled. and i had used tampons in the past. but why are you dating a muslim man he is not allowed to havegirlfriends. i hope he will become a straight practicing muslim after you are married inshallah. just dont kiss him or anything or touch him because in his religion he is getting major sins for that and you dont want him to get sins do you. get married asap