Each time I talk to my 77 yrs old mother on the phone, we both cry.I couldn't believe she became so old.Why?

Answer 1

Do you live quite some distance from your Mother? It sounds like you both would benefit by seeing each other even if it is just for a few hours. I am an 80 year old Mother and none of my children, grandchildren or great grandchildren live close to me at all, but we stay in telephone and e-mail contact so that their once yearly visit is always a happy time. Perhaps, if a visit isn't possible, talking to her oftener would make the separation easier.

Answer 2

Her body may be older, but her mind probably isn't. When you get older, you lose many friends and family thru death and disability. Your mom is more than likely lonesome, worried, etc. Start sending cards for nothing at all. Call to tell of good things. Call in the middle of a tv show that you both watch and you can "watch " it together. Send her things to keep her mind busy... newspaper, seek n find books. If she has lost touch with an old friend or neighbor, find them for her and take them to lunch. If you live in the same town, clean her house, tidy her yard, fix that faucet or whatever.
And most important, say I love you.

Answer 3

A good question. You think mom will remain young for ever and it just don't happen. I am now caring for my 89 year old mother who has cancer. She is like a child -she must be fed, changed and loved. I can see there is a closeness like this between you and your mother so when the roles are reversed I know you'll be there for your mom too. Hugs

Answer 4

We all will be old one day and look back on life of the good times we had, the had times, our family, the friends we lost, the loving grandchildren we have, then there is us there children who loved them to the end, and yes the phone calls crying to you about her or his pain and you cry too because you wish you can be there with them to help with there pain, you hate to see them get old, we pray to god and tell him thank you for giving us two of his angels my mom and dad and you thank god for sending us to be there child. So you see mom's and dad's took care of us, and now that there old we must take care of them, our crying years will never stop because there always in our hearts, till we see them in heaven again.

Answer 5

time flies and people age its like a neverending cycle.

Answer 6

My mother had to deal with my father having a stroke, being his only caregiver until he had to be put into a hospital for the last 2 months of his life. She watched him die, all the time thinking there would be a chance that he could come out of it. She never wanted to admit to herself that he might not make it.

After he died, she really went downhill. She became extremely distressed, depressed and had panic attacks. It took her awhile, but after we adopted a little girl from China, she began to come around little.

I remember my mom as the one who taught us morals. She wouldn't have allowed us to steal or lie or cheat at anything. A lie to her was worse than anything else in the world. I thought she was indestructible - at 4'10" she absolutely could run circles around most people and kept us kids in line. She never tolerated any crap.

Now, I watch as she has deteriorated. She had open-heart surgery in April and hasn't ever fully recovered to the point she was prior to the operation. She has short-term memory problems, gets overwhelmed with the daily financial chores (paying bills) and is in chronic pain due to her shoulders not having any cartelege where the bone fits into the shoulder socket. But I try to keep the pressure off of her and take care of her meds, her finanaces, and keep her spirits up, hoping that by October she can have an operation on her shoulders to relieve the pain. I am praying it will work for her The chronic pain is the worst for her mental attitude.

As we age, there are many factors that go into one's outlook on life. Does your mother live alone? Does she have many friends? Does she have multiple health issues? Is she feeling isolated from family? She could be experiencing intense loneliness and depression over her physical and mental deterioration. She may not be fully aware, but she knows things aren't like they used to be... I would bet on that.

One of the scariest things for the elderly is to be alone, with no one to be around for them. My mother lives alone, but has some wonderful neighbors who do try to help watch over her. But she can't remember anything short-term, still gets depressed that Dad isn't alive anymore, and is angry/depressed over the number of medications she has to take. Currently, I have to make trips up to her home (thankfully it's only 25 miles away) to help her out and to visit with our duaghter. It helps her feel that there is something to look forward to.

You are probably crying because you see yourself in your mother in another 20-30 years. I would warn you not to give in to depression. It has been shown that being depressed and having a negative attitude increases the chance that you will develop alzheimer's - and the more depressed you allow yourself to be, the more depressed you will become. If you find this is true, please seek the help of a doctor who can diagnose the cause of your depression and help with medication or treatment. Not only for you, but for you family and mother.

I would also suggest that if your mother isn't able to take care of her day to day issues or needs help with medical and financial decisions, if you haven't already done so, she needs to appoint someone as her Durable Power of Attorney. They can act on her behalf, get her the medical help she may need (depression meds, if necessary, or treatment for a condition she may have) and take care of her bills and financial transactions. Sometimes taking some of the stress off of a parent helps their attitude and outlook - sometimes things tend to get overwhelming for elderly parents.

Unfortunately, as children, we see our parents as invincible. As we grow to young adulthood, we see their flaws, but because we don't have a true understanding as to how short and fragile life is, we still see them as strong and vibrant and healthy and don't realize or want to admit to ourselves that it will change someday. Then, most of us have families of our own and tend to not pay as much attention to our parents as time goes by. Then, as older adults, we realize they have become fragile and sometimes broken souls. It's part of the circle of life. Few of us will be taken from this world as healthy, strong individuals. Your mother will need to have your support (and any other family members that can pitch in) and help as things progress. And you should do what you can to make happy memories now, as she ages. To buy into the crying and sadness of what life has become or has done to oneself is to be giving in to a pity party... Look forward to each day, and make the most of what you have right now.