Father problems?

Question

I have a father with a really bad temper. When I was younger, all I remember of him was being explosive whenever something bad happened. Even now, when he's in a bad enough mood, he'll throw things and yell literally at the top of his lungs. And what's worse, whenever he wants something he'll threaten to lose his temper. You may think that's not a big deal, but I get so scared of him. It brings everything back; all of the yelling and arguing between my parents, how I felt. I'm 16 now and a junior in high school. I was inspired to put this on here because 10 minutes ago he started yelling at me again and he called me a "stupid *****". I can seriously say I hate him sometimes. I hate living with this fear. Everywhere I go I feel like I'm controlled by this urge to make everyone happy so that they won't get angry. I'm extremely insecure but I want to change that. Please, if anyone can give me any advice, do it. I would love to hear anyone's opinion. Thank you.

Answer 1

I can relate to this also. My father and whole family would yell all the time hit each other often daily. mother would scream father would yell. Violence and name calling, me to my own mother will not stop calling me names either and I'm 37 years old out on my own thank god. I just had a reality last week or so about my family. They are very sick people. My mother has gotten worse. My father remains sick mentally also . I got help with alot of therapy. Now I know that you don't have to react to it anymore. Say somthing like"What ever makes you feel better dad" I don't even call my real father father that s how much I hate my parent's infact, I wanted them dead when I was just alittle girl that tells you it was a nightmare. My reality sucked because of their own crap they brought on to me. DO NOT BELIVE YOU ARE NOT STUPID OR ANYTHING HE SAYS!! ITS NOT TRUE ABOUT YOU!!! You are smart enough to know he is wrong. Wheres your mom in all this anyway?

Answer 2

Your violent father is damaging your life.

Although there are plenty of fathers just like yours, that doesn't make it right.

You will end up letting everybody step on you in your life, or you will end up angry and volatile like he is. Either way, you're going to end up messed up because you had to walk on eggshells around your own father. THIS IS WRONG. This is not the way an adult should behave.

Even if he doesn't hit, it's still abuse. You might contact Child Welfare (you're still legally a child) and see if you can get help. Maybe you could move out of the house; you're probably old enough to. I wouldn't wait if I were you. Learn how to stand up to him, starting now. Because you'll be standing up to him for the rest of his life.

Living in fear can also affect your health. I developed major health problems from living in an abusive environment. Some of them disappeared when I left "home".

Answer 3

Wow, he really has to go to anger management. My dad's the same way, but except he gives us a beating when he's super pissed. I would just learn to deal with it, but I don't recommend you do that. Explanation is on the bottom But if you're not willing to do that, then here's what I think you should do.
Well, at least try to make him happy. You know, do some things that he likes. That will tone his anger down. Also, you should at least talk to him about how you feel. Tell him that it scares you when he blows up like that. But try to be nice about it. If that doesn't work, he should probably go to anger management classes.
You know, I feel the same way about my dad. I'm thirteen, btw, but just because I'm only 13, doesn't mean I can't help. You should be able to talk to your dad about how you feel. My dad's the same way, and the way I delt with it was horrible. I can't even stand next to my dad, because I'm so scared of his anger. Litrally. But sometimes I can because I'm starting to do all of this stuff. I hope this helps

Answer 4

Just think! your 16! pretty soon you'll graduate! and if you like, when you are 17, you can go and see a recruter...and pre-sign up for the service! i'd be looking into that one.....(read the fine print too) it's just an option..unless your rich, already have a good job, and can move out, have a car and can afford all the bills and luxuries of being on your own.....or you can "run away" ..get caught, have a record...then get to go back "home"....get someone pregnant, get married, go on welfare? (just another option....) start thinking about "You" and your future, and begin heading in that direction...you can't change your dad, but, you can start planning for YOU...dig?....

Answer 5

Hun, i feel for you. But think about it, you have survived it the last 16 years. You have 2 more years till you are a legal adult. Think about college-far away maybe- a part time job now that keeps you away from home more, and getting out on your own. Once you are on your own, you can start beginning to overcome the residual effects of intimidation by your dad.

Answer 6

child protective services is at your school if you go tot hem and tell them about how you feel it abuse and they can put you into foster care. yes its hard to go but its better then this maybe you could grow up and be fine in the coming years and grow to be happier.