He's been my friend for many years and we've dated 3 times. And before we date everytime we are like best friends who flirt a lot. and now i'm at that point agian being best friends who flirt. He's hurt me so many times and i dont know if i should keep him or move on. i luv him and i dont know what to do. everytime i'm with him i feel great and sometimes not so great like when he talks to him friends or something. but we i look back at my past i see me crying over him or over something he did to make me cry like that. this is quite confusing. so i dont know if i should stay friends with small benifits (kissing, cuddling, going on dates). or what i should do. my family dont like him because how he hurt me. but i still love him. that's y i'm confused. please help me please.
2007-09-08 05:04:48 · 16 answers · asked by Rebecca C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Whenever you are in a situation and you don't know what to do, you have to look at your options. You can keep your present guy and continue with the emotion rollercoaster; you mentioned how predictable he is and how he had previously hurt you. Or you can choose to end it all; the flirting, cuddling kissing, and take time out for yourself. This 'time-out' phase will help strengthen you and you never know, you just might someone who is truly meant for you.
2007-09-08 05:14:57 · answer #1 · answered by Nique T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay well.... you have to remember something there are so many guys out there that are perfect in some kind of way nobody is perfect. But what I would do is ask him why he is so mean or ruid or whatever he does to upset you tell him that and tell him that if he doesn't stop then you will go on to someone else. Sometimes guys get scared that they are about to be left and they change the way they are but sometimes they don't car and if that happens to be the case you should find somebody else!! If your parents don't like him then they are correct girls or women are not supposed to be treated like that. That is incorrect and not manly thing to do including that a girls heart could be broken so much that she wouldn't even want to live or she would be in a huge depression. It depends on how you like him. What else??? hmmm Okay well you got to believe me there ARE better guys than him. TRust me I went on to another guy it was heart breaking and I was sad so sad never sad like this before but then I listened to my om and she said that there are beetter guy thanmy other one so I ended up looking for another guy and I found Mr. perfect (well almost) Know he cares about me. It might be hard but tell him how feel and scare hima little saying that I won't be friends with you enless you change. And If I were you I would leave him right away no matter how hard it really is. It will hard I'm not going to lie about that. But if you want to be heart broken and tortured like that stay with him. But that's totally up to you. Don't be easy on him show that you are tough and not scared don't cry infront of him. never do that!!!! BE TOUGH<<<<< Don't be scared of him show him who's bose (Which is you). I hope this really helps and email me if you need more advise I am going to be an advise columest when I get a little older. So feel free! Bunnywhite23@yahoo.com=) C ya later. Bye
2007-09-08 05:23:58 · answer #2 · answered by sweetsweetsweetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not worth getting hurt every time. You could keep him as a friend but nothing more. Having the benefits will just make it harder to say no and it makes you more vulnerable to getting hurt. The best thing to do is make yourself less available for that kind of stuff. Find someone else that you kinda like maybe to take your mind off him. You can love someone and not be in love with him and if he truly loved you in return he wouldn't hurt you or when he did he would know it and try to fix it. So my advice move on. Good luck!
2007-09-08 05:15:23 · answer #3 · answered by ???? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family is looking out for you and have your best interest at heart. You cannot trust this guy based on what he has done to you in the past which proves that he does not care for you the same way you care for him. He does not care about how his actions affect your feelings. He's insensitive and immature.
I realize that your feelings are very strong for him and that giving advice is so much easier than actually doing the right thing, but make a concerted effort to get over him and move on unless you truly enjoy getting hurt.
2007-09-08 05:20:43 · answer #4 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah - I went down this road many years ago. I actually ended up marrying my "best friend" - even though I had more sad than happy memories. I should have listened to my family. After 12 years of marriage, we are divorced because he came out. He told me that he only got married to me because I was his best friend and he thought it would be easier married to a friend than being openly gay. Only problem is he never clued me into his "secret" life and all the time I spent crying and remembering the pain was intensified by the fact that everything I thought was true and honest was nothing more than an elaborate veil to hide his fear of living life how he now does.
Not saying your friend has a secret life style - just be cautious - you can never reclaim the lost years and you will always remember the tears and pain - they stain the soul for a very long time.
2007-09-08 05:14:57 · answer #5 · answered by sofballinchic12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend is in the same kind of predicament as you are in a lot of ways, so I'll give you the same advice I gave him. If he has hurt you in anyway, just while you've been dating, then you don't need to be pursuing the relationship. I know it's tough, and the emotions are all involved, but that's a good sign that that's the way it's going to be in the future. Move on, in time you'll be glad you did.
2007-09-08 05:13:07 · answer #6 · answered by indycolts2k6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's co-dependency and your right. It hurts like hell.
But being co-dependent is one thing.
Having a toxic friend is something else.
I'm not saying walk away because that's like saying cut off your arm.
Just have some self respect and lay down some ground rules.
If he's a real friend and your expectations are small, he should be kind enough to consider your feelings.
2007-09-08 05:12:03 · answer #7 · answered by Kari 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have 2 talk yo him and c if he feels the same way and expain to u why he hurt u like he did!if u think u are better off friends then fine but if u both want to give it another try then go for it!it might work out but u have to talk things out with each other or it could go seriously wrong!!!
good luck!!!xxx
2007-09-08 05:12:40 · answer #8 · answered by river 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there. Cheer up, missy. I don't think you should get back w/ this guy because there's just too much pain there. I don't think you should be friends w/benefits either because you love him, and that will just cause more anguish + pain. Do you think you can just leave it alone and be friends if possible?
P.S. If you like trouble, get involved w/ him.
2007-09-08 05:11:29 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he is hurting you physically then you should definetely move on from him. hurting you emotionally when you are a couple? stay friends. i know it's hard because you love him but it's not worth it to be hurt emotionally or physically. tell someone about how he is hurting you (like a counselor or even your aunt)
2007-09-08 05:11:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋