My friend asked me to be in her bridal party. We currently live 12 hours from each other. I am pregnant and will have a 3 month old the time of her wedding. She is expecting me to attend her bridal shower in June and to be in town a few days early for the rehearsal dinner! I am feeling stressed out because this will be my first child and I am also expected to fulfill my duties as a bridsmaid! Also, the house we are getting dressed at is 45 minutes from the church, and the church is 1 hour from the reception hall!!! Does this sound weird to you? This means a full day away from my new baby. I am really not to thrilled about this, and all the driving involved. It seems like a lot of wasted time. And I don't think many people are going to the church. I told her that my husband will have to watch the baby until the reception and will just meet me there. Then she suggested that we stay at the hotel nearby and I reminded her that I will have a 3 month old baby to get home to! Need Opinions!
2007-09-08 04:16:27 · 12 answers · asked by christine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It seems that you have a few options. You can let her know (as soon as possible!) that you don't feel that you are up to the challenge of being a bridesmaid in her wedding, and offer to help in other ways, such as a reading or handing out programs. Another option would be to perform your duties at the wedding and early on in the reception, and leave early. If you do decide to keep your role as a bridesmaid, you could take her advice about the hotel and have your husband and baby stay there as well.
2007-09-08 04:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by duritzgirl4 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since you live 12 hours from her, you have every right to say "I'm sorry I cannot make it to the bridal shower". Even though you are a bridesmaid, she needs to realize will also be a new mother and need to tend to your baby as well. Try to make it to the rehearsal dinner, bring your husband over (if he's not invited to the dinner he could watch the baby at the hotel room).
Talk to her about your concerns, both financially and because you will be a mother.
She should realize that, since you are 12 hours away, you will not be able to make all events that bridesmaids usually go to.
Since it seems like her wedding is later than June 2008, if you feel you cannot fulfill them the way you think you could, talk to her about backing out. Let her know you will still attend the wedding, but the responsibilities of a bridesmaid is too much.
If she is a true friend she will understand your situation and either try to figure out a way to keep you in the wedding or be ok with you dropping out and instead being a guest.
2007-09-08 12:36:01 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love her and it's killing you to "bow out" but you must. Tell her you want to remember her wedding as a great day and the timing just is bad for what's going on in your life. IF she's a good friend, she should totally get it without further explanation.
And yes, the distance between all of the events seems like poor planning.
In any case, pregnant, first child, out of town wedding is a sure recipe for disaster. Honestly, I can't believe she didn't give you an "out" when asking, such as " I wouldn't be hurt if you'd rather not be in my wedding, I realize you have a lot going on with the new baby and all, so think about it and let me know"
Good luck and don't give it any more thought then she gave it for you!
2007-09-08 06:27:07 · answer #3 · answered by N0_white_flag 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This one's a no brainer. Your baby has to come first. And being in the bridal party detracts from being there for your baby and likely nursing.
I would either politely decline her request to be in her bridal party, or politely step down if you've already accepted. Explain to her that as a nursing mom (or mom), you're not willing to spend so much time away from your baby. Either your friend will understand or she won't. But if she doesn't, it's not your problem. As Nancy Reagan once said, "just say no."
And besides, from your friend's point of view, it's better to have an attendent who is fully into being there for her, as opposed to one reluctantly doing it b/c she couldn't say "no."
2007-09-08 05:05:12 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth. With a baby coming your not feeling confident that you can give 100% attention to being her bridesmaid. She should understand. My BF was pregnant when I was engaged and knew she could not attend the shower. But I had her oldest daughter in my wedding party as a nod to her. Maybe you can figure something else later down the line. Help in her first baby shower:)
2007-09-08 04:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by Lyla 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i admire option a million by way of fact it's going to be an exterior ceremony which i think of are attractive, plus it fairly is an advantage to no longer ought tochronic to the reception internet site. It sounds very such as my wedding ceremony which become exterior of of an previous plantation kind living house then we basically moved interior for the nutrition and it too become on a Sunday. i become married June 29 in Virginia and it become warm however the ceremony become short and then we went interior yet i needed an out of doors wedding ceremony and am so happy I did. the two one you %. would be great yet i might pass with the 1st. Congrats!!
2016-10-19 23:17:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her as much as you appreciate being asked to be in the wedding it doesn't work for you. Decline now so she can find an alternate bridesmaid.
2007-09-08 05:03:36 · answer #7 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be honest and tell her you do not feel comfortable being away from your baby and husband that long of a period. tell her the baby is very bonded to you and needs you. if shes a good friend she will either acomadate all of you or understand. if she doesnt than she isnt a very good friend
2007-09-08 04:22:10 · answer #8 · answered by Fran J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would probably tell her that you're just not going to be able to do it. Weddings are stressful enough (and hers sounds exceptionally stressful!) without having to worry about your newborn...
Just tell her you won't be able to give her as much attention as she deserves on her wedding day and that you're very sorry but you won't be able to be a bridesmaid
2007-09-08 04:21:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should have said NO when she asked you to be a bridesmaid!
2007-09-08 04:19:45 · answer #10 · answered by gabster 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋