self harm - please help?

Question

well i stoped for nearly a month, but then i snapped. So i told myself that i could still cut but shallow, but its not working my self harms getting worce i don't know what to do please help me. i can't go on like this!

Answer 1

Self-injury (self-harm, self-mutilation) can be defined as the attempt to deliberately cause harm to one's own body and the injury is usually severe enough to cause tissue damage. This is not a conscious attempt at suicide, though some people may see it that way.

It has been reported that many people who self-injure have a history of sexual or physical abuse, but that is not always the case. Some may come from broken homes, alcoholic homes, have emotionally absent parents, etc. There are many factors that could cause someone to self-injure as a way to cope.

There are three types of self-injury. The rarest and most extreme form is Major self-mutilation. This form usually results in permanent disfigurement, i.e. castration or limb amputation. Another form is Stereo typic self-mutilation which usually consists of head banging, eyeball pressing and biting. The third and most common form is Superficial self-mutilation which usually involves cutting, burning, hair-pulling, bone breaking, hitting, interference with wound healing and basically any method used to harm oneself.

Most people who self-injure tend to be perfectionists, are unable to handle intense feelings, are unable to express their emotions verbally, have dislike for themselves and their bodies, and can experience severe mood swings. They may turn to self-injury as a way to express their feelings and emotions, or as a way to punish themselves.

You may be wondering why someone would intentionally harm themselves. Self-injury can help someone relieve intense feelings such as anger, sadness, loneliness, shame, guilt and emotional pain. Many people who cut themselves, do this in an attempt to try and release all the emotions they are feeling internally. Others may feel so numb, that seeing their own blood when they cut themselves, helps them to feel alive because they usually feel so dead inside. Some people find that dealing with physical pain is easier than dealing with emotional pain. Self-injury is also used as a way to punish oneself. If they were abused, they may feel ashamed, guilty and blame themselves for the abuse, which in turn causes them to feel the need to punish themselves by inflicting pain to their bodies. Some people have such hatred for themselves and their bodies that they will carve demeaning names on their bodies as a way to remind themselves of how terrible they are. Whatever form of self-injury is used, the person is usually left with a peaceful and calm feeling afterwards. Since those feelings are only temporary, the person will probably continue to self-injure until they deal with the underlying issues and finds healthier ways to cope.

If you feel the urge to injure yourself, below is a list of suggestions that might help you to overcome that urge. Please be advised that not all of these suggestions will be helpful to everyone. What is helpful to one person, may not be helpful to someone else. These suggestions have been provided by individuals who self injured and what they found helpful to them. If you feel that a certain suggestion may in fact cause you to want to self injure even more, do NOT use that suggestion. Find ones that are helpful for you. Again, these are only suggestions and may not be helpful to everyone.

deep breathing
relaxation techniques
call a friend, your therapist or a crisis line
try not be be alone (visit a friend, go shopping, etc.)
take a hot bath
listen to music
go for a walk
write in a journal
wear an elastic around wrist and snap it when you have the urge to harm yourself
some people find it helpful to draw red lines on themselves with washable markers instead of cutting themselves
hold ice cubes in your hands - the cold causes pain in your hands, but it is not dangerous or harmful (some people find it relieves the urge to harm themselves for that moment)
punching a bed or a pillow (when nothing but a physical outlet for your anger and frustration will work).
scratch draw a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screw driver and stab at the piece of wood. (can be another physical way to release your emotions without harming yourself.)
avoid temptation (i.e. avoiding the area in CVS where the razor blades are kept, etc.)
try to find your own creative ways as outlets for emotions.
learn to confront others/making your own feelings known instead of keeping them inside
go outside and scream and yell
take up a sport (a form of exercise can help you release tension, etc.)
work with paint, clay, play-doo, etc. (the person who suggested this mentioned that they would make a big sculpture and do whatever they wanted to it. They said it was helpful to calm the urge to self-injure, plus it gave them some idea of what might be underlying the pain.
draw a picture of what or who is making you angry
instead of harming yourself, try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect
go to church or your place of worship
wear a pipe cleaner or something that will fit on the places that you injure. One person did this as a way to remind herself that she could call someone instead of hurting herself and that she had other ways to cope.
break the object that you use to self-injure as a way to show that you have control over it.
write a letter to the person(s) that have hurt you and express how they made you feel. Theses letters do not have to be in perfect form and you do not have to please anyone but yourself. You do not have to give these letters to the people, but it is a great way to release the feelings that you are carrying within. After you write the letters, you can decide then what to do with them. Some people find destroying the letters help (i.e. tear them up, throw them in a lake, etc.)
do some household chores (i.e. cleaning)
do some cooking
try some sewing, crossstitch, etc.
recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar the comforts you multiple times
write down all your positive points and why you do not deserve to be hurt
write in your journal why you want to hurt yourself and if you have hurt yourself, write down what caused it to happen so in the future you can prevent it from happenings - or find out what your triggers were
Play some kind of musical instrument. Even if you don't really know how to play, picking out tunes is a way to concentrate and help get rid of the urge to harm yourself.
yoga
allow yourself to cry. Getting the tears out can make you feel better. It allows the inside to release, as opposed to self abuse. Picture your "ickies" pouring out as you cry.
Take a shower
write down a word best associated with what you are feeling (i.e. horrible, sad, lonely, angry) and continue to write it down, over and over. Sometimes when you do that, the words looks silly etc., and it puts humor or a smile in your life.
sing a song on what you are feeling. It's another way to get it outside. Shout if you are made, etc. Let the words just come to you.
Scribble on paper. Clutch the pen in your fist. It's a way to diffuse it on to paper. (Get a few sheets so they don't tear.)
Take item you are self injurying with and use it against something else. For example, if you are using a razor blade, rip it across a towel. Sometimes seeing what "can" be done to an object can make a person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling of "doing it"...the tangible aspect.
Make a list of reasons why you are going to stop cutting. Every time you get the urge, read the list to remind yourself why you shouldn't. Also remember to put on that list that you do not deserve to hurt yourself. You are important and special and you do not deserve to be hurt.
It is very difficult for people to admit to someone that they harm themselves because there is usually so much shame and guilt that goes along with it. It's important to try and remind yourself that there is no shame in what you are doing and that it's okay to reach out and ask for help. In order to help yourself overcome this, you need to want to stop the behavior and you need to find a therapist that you like and trust to help you deal with the underlying issues causing you to do this to yourself. Sometimes treatment may also involve the use of medications such as Xanax and Klonopin. Hypnosis and relaxation techniques can also be helpful, and in extreme cases, hospitalization might be required for a short period of time. If there are support groups in your area, you may want to think about joining them for extra support.

Many people who self-injure keep it a secret because they feel like they are crazy, insane and evil. They fear if they tell anyone, they might be locked away forever. The truth is, people who intentionally harm themselves are in fact very normal and sane people, who are in a lot of emotional pain. They self-injure as a way to cope, because they were probably never taught how to deal with intense feelings and emotions in healthy ways. Unfortunately, when people hear about this form of self-harm, they do tend to place labels on these people as being psychotic and crazy, which is why so many people do not come forward and ask for help. Until society dispels all the myths surrounding self-injury and start to educate themselves on this subject, sufferers will continue to keep quiet and this form of abuse will continue to be a secret for a long time to come.

Answer 2

Hi,
It's tough to find yourself going back to cutting when you worked so hard to overcome your struggle. Falling back into a bad habit is known as a relapse, and relapses are pretty common when people are trying to make a major change. If you relapse, it might seem like you're back where you started. But change is a learning experience, and a relapse is part of learning a new way of doing things.
You can get back on track.
Start by thinking about what triggered the relapse. Think about the emotions or situations that led you to cut. For example, were you feeling misunderstood, lost, alienated, desperate, or angry?
Then remind yourself why you decided to stop cutting before. How did you do it then? Write down what worked for you. Reach out to someone who cares about you. Think about how to express powerful emotions in ways that don't cause harm. Some people turn to painting, dance, athletics, music, poetry, or keeping a journal as ways to get through the pain. Others find they need more support from a counselor or therapist — everyone is different and different people cut for different reasons.
Keep in mind that you're not really back where you started — this time you've got previous success on your side. You know how it's done and, more important, you have done it. You can find the inner strength to do it again.
I hope that my answer help you and if you needed help contact me.

Answer 3

You need to find the route causes of what causing this behaviour! Find out what made you snap (You may already know!) Find out what it is and talk about it and slowly break it down and deal with it little bit at time. Remember it's probably not something that can be stopped overnight it takes a while! By the way your saying that u cud cut shallow probably indicates that it's just your way of coping, which is better than tryin to take your life. It's still very bad tho.

What evers going on, it's not worth trying to harm yourself. I suggest you see and consillor person or someone you trust and talk about it. If you can talk to your family i would advise it because they may have relized somethings wrong and being worring alot about you. They love you and will want to help! Please get help and alway thinks postively about things, don't let things get to you because that wen you'll relaps.

Good Luck, Take care and i hope you do go and get help

Answer 4

You should talk to your Doctor and also talk to a therapist who can help you find out why you are feeling like this. Also the mind website has some imformation about self harm.

I have anxiety and depression and have been using an alternative therapy called Emotional Freedom Technique. Since using it I have been feeling a lot better. It's very good at getting rid of all kinds of negative emotions and dealing with all kinds of issues quickly. It does sound bizarre but does work. Might be something that can help you. If you type self harm in to the search engine of emofree.com you should find some articles about EFT helping people who self harm.

Answer 5

I do not think you self injure for attention. I used to self injure and it took a lot and I do mean a lot of therapy but I was able to stop cutting, etc. Also went into special programs and remain in therapy. Some people do not understand why but it is not for them to. As long as you start acknowledging that you do it and you are willing to get help that is what is most important. It sounds as though you need to try and find a good Psychologist or therapist that you can confide in once you trust them. Also, you say that you do it to feel relief, but do you really feel relief. That is what a lot of people say and I also used to say that but truthfully it is only perceived, temporary relief and then things get worse from there. You have the pain from the injury and then the shame and guilt and so on.......tends to be a vicious cycle. There is typically a deeper cause to why you do this and talking to a Professional will help you get to why you "feel" you need to do this and help you find some other, healthy way to express your feelings. It sounds as though you definitely need to work through your attempted suicide. I realize your heart obviously stopped beating and they had to bring you back to life. Try, if possible to be glad that you are here instead of dwelling on the fact that you almost died. If you truly died (even though i understand what you are saying) you could not be here now asking for help. Asking for help is HUGE. It takes a lot and I do hope you can get the help you need and start to feel better very soon. Feel free to email me if you like. I wish you the best~

Answer 6

Hiya -
Well done you for giving up for a month.

I still self harm and partly it is to see blood partly to feel pain partly to self punish and other partlys too - the idea of a self harm buddy sounds so good - My partner is mine.

I think the first step that helped me was to let out the urge to actually say -
'I want to hurt myself/cut myself right now' to another person - It buys a bit of time between the urge and the action. I have found that if I can distract myself in this or some other way to answer back to the urge to get some strength over it.

The cutting is great for release but the feeling of being bigger than the urge and getting free of it is so good.
the elastc band snapping on the wrist is pretty good for the short sharp pain and my doctor allowed me to have some of my blood taken and for me to keep it so I can look at it and know that I am alive and that is me.For me affirmations, it is good that I am alive and well and here on earth right now, helped me feel better than worthless and talking to a counsellor sorted out some of the past issues.
good luck!

Answer 7

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time, I self harm too so I know how hard it can be when you feel the urge. Well done for stopping for so long, I've gone three weeks now and its been so hard so I know what an achievement it is. Are you getting any help with this? Your GP can refer you to a counsellor or psychiatrist who should be able to help. Dont know what to say if you're already getting support other than stick with it and keep trying to move forward, there will be a way through this. Email me if you need any support. Take care x

Answer 8

wow a month - that's a really long time. keep telling yourself that you can manage to stop again - you lasted a month before, you can do it again, and for longer. That is a fantastic achievement, so don't forget it. don't just focuss on the fact that you started again.

when you say it's getting worse, do you mean you're cutting deeper than before, or doing more cuts? doing more cuts would be understandable as you aren't getting as much pain or blood for the release, so you're doing more to get that release. but if it's getting deeper that's worrying. are you currently seeing a professional? if so, talk to them about it. if not, you need to see one before you do yourself some serious damage. also, have you tried using any alternatives? if not, the next time you want to cut, use an alternative, snap an elastic band aroud your wrist really hard (it does hurt!) then draw on yourself with red pen so that it looks like you have the blood as well.

Remember i'm here if you wanna talk, just email me.

Good luck. Stay strong, stay safe hun.

Answer 9

Well That's good you stoped for almost a month . I was like you I went for a while with out cutting but I told myself I could do it shallow but it got worse . It is an addiction . But you can work at stopping . A counselor may be helpful . It is hard to stop I know . But if you work hard and try really hard to stop then it will happen . You can do it . I believe in you . If you ever need to talk e-mail me ok . [e-mail] . I am here to listen and talk to you . Just rem i care .

Answer 10

I haven't anything to add to what's been said except that I recommend you register with the National Self-Harm Network website. I'm a member myself and it's a good source of support. Well done for stopping for as long as you did. It's a start and if you can do it once, I'm sure you can do it again. I hope you find all the help and encouragement you need. Best of luck.

Answer 11

STOP DOING THAT! People are out there that care like me I don't even know you but Brother do not harm yourself,go to a mental health clinic and get some help.Go seek out a spiritual guide I don't know hoe you feel about religion.but its there and works,if it wasn't for GOD I wouldn't be sitting here typing on this puter.Man I have been right there thinking and doing that crazy s.h.i.t,it ain't worth it.Find a friend and talk.hell e-mail me.Life is so precious take care of yourself,nothing can be so bad you want to go to those extremes.I wish I was there to talk to you about my BS lfe,I am sure you would think you have it made after what I have been through.Go to the ER and tell the doc whats up!It all begins in your heart man.Be cool.and take care!