Engagement and how long is too long??

Question

I know people can be engaged as long as they want or feel they should or need to be but how long would you consider too long??

My bf is not ready to be married and too be honest i doubt i am either yet i constantly want to ask him to marry me because i love him so much, i know he hasnt asked me because hes not ready to get married and we have discussed it and he said to me that he has no problem being engaged and that we could get engaged right now just not married.

I only want to get engaged when hes ready to marry me so dont worry im not getting engaged it just made me think how long is too long and does anyone know the average length of time most couples get engaged for??

Thanks

P.S which finger does the engagement ring go on? that has confused me ever since i learnt about marriage.

Thanks so far :)

I have known my Bf since January 2006 and been dating since july 2006

Answer 1

I would let him ask you. When it happens, it'll be the right time, and as long as you know you'd say yes, and he knows you'd say yes, I'd leave it up to him. How long have you guys even been dating? It's been said that you don't even "really" know a person until you've been dating for at least a year, I think an engagement should last for as long as you feel it may need to last. If you both are ready to jump in after getting engaged, and you've been together for awhile, then by all means, go for it. But sometimes it takes awhile (a year) to even plan a wedding.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Good question. I totally agree - if you aren't ready for marriage there's no point getting engaged.

My opinion on this is that you should set a wedding date soon after you get engaged. I don't see much point in being engaged for months on end without having a wedding date - or else what are you really engaged to do?

As for how long is too long... I wouldn't want to wait longer than a year after the engagement to have the wedding. That's just me personally. I think the average is probably somewhere between 6 and 18 months. I know a few people who've been engaged for over 3 years and I don't really get the point in that... but maybe it makes sense to some people.

Answer 3

To answer the last part of your question first, your engagement ring goes on the ring finger (one closest to your pinky) of your left hand. When you get married, you will wear both your wedding band and engagement ring on that finger, with your wedding band on the bottom (closest to your heart) and the engagement ring above it.
How long an engagement is, is up to the people involved. I'd say most people are engaged for about one to two years. Mainly because, depending on how big a wedding you want, it can take a while to plan a wedding. Truly it depends on your situation.
Personally, I feel that if you're not ready to get married, what is the point of getting engaged. An engagement is a way of anouncing the love that you have as a couple to the world, and the intention to spend the rest of your life together as a couple. So I would say wait until you both feel like you're ready to get married, before popping the question.
This also entirely my own opinion, but I think more than about 2 years is too long of an engagement. My husband and I have friends that have been engaged for about four years. We joke, not to them, about whether or not they are ever gonna get married. They've been living together most of that time, they bought a house together, but they haven't gotten married. Sort of like my mother says, "why buy a horse you can ride for free?" So basically, when people start to wonder if you're ever going to get married, the engagement has probably been too long.
I hope that this helps.

Answer 4

I think 1-2 years is a good engagement length. You need time to plan a wedding, after all!
But I would also like to add that you can be in love and have a great relationship, without marriage being on the table. What Im saying is, dont rush it just because you are in love. It will happen when it happens. Engagement is a clear intent to get married, not a middle ground between "serious relationship" and "marriage".
The engagement ring goes on the finger next to your pinky, on your left hand.

Answer 5

the fing goes on the left ring finger.

I have been engaged for 2 years now and it will be another 2.5 before I get married. This wasn't how it was planned but it is how life made it to be. I don't think there can be too long of an engagement if the couple has agreed and are okay with it. I wish my wedding would be sooner but its not going to be and I am fine with that. Life just threw us some curves.

Answer 6

HMM< the shortest engagement I know of was 3 weeks, they divorced soon after, the longest I know of has been over 20 years. They just got married last year (her delay not his). I think the average is a year maybe 2. The engagement ring goes onto the ring finger of your left hand where the wedding band will be, just before the wedding ceremony, you will take off the engagment ring to have the wedding band placed on then the engagment ring goes back on that finger above the wedding ring if you want to continue wearing it. I hope this helps.

Answer 7

I think anything over about a year and a half is too long. I think a year is a good engagement length but I say up to a year and a half is good because if you get engaged in say march and you want a july wedding...the upcomming july may be too soon so the following year would be good, but about a year and a half away. anything over that is just silly. people shouldnt get engaged until they are ready to plan a wedding. my best friend got engaged shortly after I got married so about 2 years ago now and they havent even set a date. they dont even talk about weddings anymore. neither is ready to marry yet...so why in the heck did they get engaged?? I was engaged for 5 months before I got married. it was right for me.

Answer 8

I think the perfect length of time for an engagement is a year.
2 years would be the maximum timeframe for me.
Getting engaged means you are ready to marry and spend a lifetime together. If you are not ready to be married then you are not ready for an engagement.
And the ring goes on the left hand, ring finger *(that is the one next to the pinky)

Answer 9

ugh, people who do this piss me off.

An engagement ring doesnt mean "ill marry you one day when im ready" A engagement ring is for two responsible adults who are READY for marriage. Your turning this into some stupid little game.

You need a promise ring.. that is the meaning you are looking for.

Otherwise you are taking this sacred thing.. getting engaged.. and turning it into some meaningless little thing. So dumb. You will regret it so much one day that you didnt have a "real" engagment and its going to be so awkward when people ask you about your wedding and stuff when in reality your not even really "ready" yet.

Why are you so desperate to make this happen? If you both love each other.. just be in love. and marry when your ready.

Answer 10

2 years