It was over between him and i 6 years ago, but i can't help feeling a bit weird about it for some reason. Him and i are still friends, and i bump into him occasionally at lunchtimes as he works near me. He told me she treats him like crap. Why do i feel like i want to slap her??
2007-09-08 01:32:19 · 25 answers · asked by . 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
my ex-wife just got married. now someone else can pay her credit card bills. Yippee!!! (or should I say, Yahoo!!!)
2007-09-08 01:48:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Vikki
A lot of my friends who are divorced, have said to me and others I DON'T KNOW WHY I MARRIED HIM/HER THEY TREATED ME LIKE CRAP EVEN BEFORE WE WERE ENGAGED. People get married for weird reasons....they drift into it, their friends were all getting married, their biological clock was ticking. Also when you have a fiance, you do intimate little things together that just evolved out of situations you were in, and you wonder if the next gal is getting that intimacy too and you can't imagine it. So you get a bit of a part ownership feeling going, that you can't let go of, and when our exes commit to someone else, it is a jolt. Think of all the things that you didn't like about him - she is going to get that too. Leopards don't change their spots. Did you hate him shaving over the basin and leaving all the hairs stuck to it every morning? He will be doing that for her.
He may have said bad things about her so to soften the blow for you, cos he may suspect you still hold a candle. He wants to be your friend still, as he probably has some good memories about your times together.
It would be good if you could see her. You might be surprised. She might not be as attractive as you and this might comfort you. Are you upset that he is getting married before you? This does not mean he is the more desirable one, especially as he is marrying someone he does not respect enough to say nice things about behind her back.
It is a common feeling to be upset when an ex is getting married. You feel like a failure who lost him, and she is the winner. You feel like he can't be your friend any more cos what will he talk about now - the honeymoon? the forthcoming children?
What sort of a man would marry a woman who treats him like crap? If this is true of course. A weak wimp. A masochist.
Go and see MY BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING again and move on. Good luck. xxxx
2007-09-08 08:51:06 · answer #2 · answered by wemblania 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal behavior. Now that he is engaged you know you will most likely never have another chance with him and also it is a indication that time is moving on and that part of your life is over. So it is probably normal that you feel strange towards him.
Don't believe everything he says about his girlfriend treating him badly. If he went out and purchased a ring for her then he must like her somewhat. Also he might of been telling you she treats him badly just because he doesn't want you to feel as badly about his getting married. Lastly, there are always two sides to every story. I am sure you know how some people leave out important details and maybe he was just mad at her when he was telling you she mistreats him. Until you meet the girl, don't form an opinion about her. That will make you look like an *** if you hate her and then meet her and learn she is a lovely young lady.
I have been the new fiance and have had people hate me for no reason. Most of these were my husband's female friends and ex's. It is so dumb. They hated me for no reason before they even met me, had seen a picture of me or knew anything about me except I had "their" friend.
My advise to you would be to stay out of his issues and problems with the girl and don't get inbetween. Try to be happy for him and supportative. He is a grown man and must decide things on his own. If you meet the girl and then he tells you that there are bad issues and asks for your opinion, tell him then.
Good luck.
2007-09-08 08:45:05 · answer #3 · answered by sadgirlinms 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
let's take out the fact that he's your ex.
Now you have this friend, who is engaged to someone that treats them like crap. Hell, I would wanna slap this b!tch too!
Being the good friend that you are, all you can do is be there for him and give him advice, but in the end there's nothing that you can really do.
So just relax because it's a totally normally reaction.
2007-09-08 10:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by Kasandra 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is an ex for a reason. The relationship between you two did not work. I suggest you stop all jealous thoughts of the bride-to-be. Concentrate instead on why that relationship with your ex did not work.
The past is past. Don't go backwards. Next you concentrate on making a workable relationship with a new special someone, avoiding the past mistakes. Good luck to you.
2007-09-08 09:00:56 · answer #5 · answered by Suz123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either you haven't completely moved on from him romantically, or you're just friends. In either case, no one would want their ex to marry someone who treats them badly. If you haven't moved on, you might also be jealous of the fiance and wondering, "I treated him great, what did he see in her?"
If you have not completely moved on from him romantically, I urge you to do so. You will never fully be ready for a partner (even if you have one) until you do.
Regardless of whether you've moved on or he's just a friend: It's his life, and he's free to make mistakes. Lose your attachment to his situation. If he wants to marry someone who doesn't treat him well, that's his business.
2007-09-08 11:14:04 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple fact is, is that you were once in love with him and even though u are not together anymore part of you still has feelings for him - not in the same way but you are human and they are still there
been through similar feelings myself of deep inside the love is still there - dont worry about it - its normal
but u do need to step back and leave it to him - hes a grown man after all and you are only getting one side of the argument when he says she treats him poorly
2007-09-08 08:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by olivier1uk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You liked this guy enough to contemplate being married to him at one time so it's only natural that you could still feel interested in what's going on in his life. You say you're still friends, most friends care what happens to their friends so it's not surprising that you 'feel for him' in his current situation.
2007-09-08 13:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by Silver Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she treats him like he tells you but still gets engaged, I would say he sound like an idiot. Why do you feel like you want to slap her? I think its him that should be slapped for being a wimp.
2007-09-08 08:42:50 · answer #9 · answered by JoJo 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
ITS NORMAL TO FEEL A BIT WEIRD THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU AND HIM 6 YEARS AGO ... TRY TO BE HAPPY FOR THEM YOU BOTH OBVIOUSLY BROKE UP FOR A REASON AND IT GREAT YOU ARE STILL FRIEND BUT DONT GET INVOLVED JUST BE THEIR IF HE WANT THAT GOOD LUCK
2007-09-08 08:37:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with genius (2nd reply) to this thread just be there as a friend no one likes seeing a friend get hurt.
2007-09-08 08:57:51 · answer #11 · answered by wilo_chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋