What I mean by two weddings is... I personally want to get married in a church but my fiance is really not liking the idea... so I was wondering... is it okay to have a simple private church wedding... and then have a big wedding somewhere else?! is that even possible?
2007-09-07 15:50:39 · 23 answers · asked by RockStarMel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have always wanted to get married in a church and my man is okay with it but i've been looking at other locations around california and so it's hard for me to decide on what to do! If i want to get married in a church my fiance will be fine with it but the location is difficult because we can't compromise... we're from bakersfield and if anyone is familiar with bakersfield... its not that exciting!
2007-09-07 16:18:36 · update #1
I like how people are sharing their personal experiences... i guess to add to my question... i am having the issue of split family locations... see, he wants his in a certain location because his family can't afford to travel far but i want a wedding close to my family too!... what to do?!
2007-09-08 14:03:16 · update #2
We both compromise on a church wedding... we just cant compromise on the place! any ideas?
2007-09-08 14:04:11 · update #3
You can have 2 "weddings" or 10, but only your first wedding is your actual wedding. I suggest you and your fiance agree to one place and stick with it. Church or not. I suggest focusing your energy and money on one wedding only.
As for Bakersfield, I know exactly what you mean about the place! I had the misfortune of living there for a year. I completely understand about you wanting to have it in another location! Maybe you could get married in Frazier Park or Santa Clarita, or someplace else that's nearby but more scenic.
2007-09-07 16:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No - the only way you get two weddings is to get a divorce after the first one.
Don't listen to these knuckleheads that tell you that you can have more than one wedding. What the heck? Find a compromise. Like some said, have a small ceremony then big reception. Although I have had people tell me that they find it insulting to be invited to a reception and not a ceremony. So be aware that could happen.
You can only get married ONCE. Anything more than that would be called a VOW RENEWAL, and under your circumstances would be excessive. (Yes folks, we were already married but come watch us put on a show for you.)
I wanted a wedding on a beach, and in Vegas, and at the old historical theatre, and on a cruise ship, AND at the Catholic Church. But everyone would think I am a nutjob if I did that.
Maybe I can do one of those things as a vow renewal after a landmark year or something... but only if my hubby would go along with the idea.
It's a nice fantasy.. and I had a few of my own when I was planning my wedding. But then we all have to climb out of the clouds and be realistic. Decide what is more important between the two of you and go with that ONE type of wedding.
At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that you married your soulmate....
2007-09-07 16:33:44 · answer #2 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is it about the church you like; the pews, the altar? Did you want a religious ceremony first in a church building, then have a big wedding by some non-religious guru in a backyard afterwards with beer and pizza? I don't' get what you're looking for? Perhaps you need to sit down with your fiance and discuss whether or not the two of you want a religious ceremony or a non religious one. A religious ceremony can take place in all sorts of places and buildings. Unless you only feel you can be religious in a church and not outside of a church. Either way, I think the two of you have some major issues you need to iron out. You need to decide what's important and why you're getting married.
2007-09-08 16:10:37 · answer #3 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may get some thumbs down for this, but I dont think its ok to have two weddings just so you both get your ideal. Youre getting married and thats the no.1 priority, isnt it? Besides, you should be able to compromise if this marriage is going to work. For example, have a small church ceremony and big reception, or an outside ceremony with the pastor of your church. Years from now, I think you both should look back at the SAME wedding.
PS: CA is bursting with gorgeous places to get married and have a reception! Look further than Bakersfield, you will find something.
2007-09-07 17:15:44 · answer #4 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your fiance doesn't want to get married in a church, what is the difference in getting married in a simple private church wedding? If you're going to have any type of church wedding what is the point of having a second ceremony?
Marriage is about communication and compromise, maybe you two need to discuss this further...
2007-09-07 16:11:41 · answer #5 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My cousin married an American over there, then six months later came back to Australia and had another wedding here just after Christmas when everyone would be in the same place. Technically the second wedding was a re-affirmation of their wedding vows, but to us it was just like a regular wedding because we couldn't go to the first one, only their parents were at both. It was very beautiful too! Someone's mum told me she had to have 2 weddings because her parents were strict Methodist and his parents were strict Greek Orthodox. They were on the same day and she was exhausted by the end of it, but that doesn't mean you would be... To actually address your question - yes it's possible but I thought that if someone has a civil ceremony and a religious ceremony, usually the religious ceremony is the one that's more elaborate?!
2007-09-07 16:49:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do the two weddings if you would like. Why not compromise through, have the church wedding and have the reception somewhere esle more to what your honey wants. Both get what you want this way to a certain degree and you save money.
2007-09-08 01:24:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. Do you want it on the same day? If so, make sure you schedule the church wedding for early morning (as early as possible) and then the big wedding for the afternoon/evening, followed by a reception (perhaps have the big wedding in the same location as the reception).
Check with the church for available dates/times and then the big wedding ceremony/location/reception area to make sure they are available at the dates/times you want.
2007-09-07 15:55:08 · answer #8 · answered by Princess Leia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, I don't get the point in your case. If your fiance doesn't want a big wedding, then how would having a small wedding and a big one help the situation? Besides, you can only be married once. Why don't you have a tiny ceremony and a giant reception or party?
2007-09-07 16:09:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure, but your real wedding will have taken place in the church. The other will be a celebration, but the law will say you got married on the day you got married at the church.
2007-09-07 16:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋