Girl I date has herpes, should I leave her?

Question

I'm dating a girl for about 3 months, and on the last date she told me she has herpes for 4 years. I really like this girl, she is really cool and stuff, but isn't it seem too early to risk your health for someone you only knew for 3 month? Plus If I decide to be with her (getting intimate and sex etc), what is the chance I am getting herpes? 100%? And if I break up with herpes in me, would it give me big obstacle in dating new girls in general? So should I leave her?

She told me her case is relatively mild - her ex for 4 years had both protected & unprotected sex with her but never got it from her. She said she only got one breakout in the last year.

I am 33 and she's 31. If we end up together, I think I can deal witht the disease. The only big thing that worries me is if she have a baby one day.

Answer 1

Some people have issues with this. U need to think very deeply about your feelings for her. Are u very young and do u plan on having other relationships? It is a good thing she was honest and told u. If u have sex with her always use a condom or u will get it. She herself should also be on medication to help her with breakouts. She is less contagious when she does not have any sores, but still always use a condom. Even if u would get it is not the end of the world. U will not die, but yes u would have to tell girls before u get in a relationship. Some people are jerks and run away from someone when they are told the other has herpes. Maybe that is why she waited to tell u. She wanted to form an actual caring relationship with u before she told u.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Herpes is very common.

I'd want to stick with someone so honest and caring as this girl obviously is.

Babies are not going to be a problem. They might Ceasr if she had an outbreak at time of giving birth.

1 in 3 has herpes.

Question is... do you want to get serious with her. Forget the herpes and think about the relatuionship itself!

All the best.

Answer 4

Yes, there isn't any. Herpes is caused by a virus. Actually, there is little cure for viruses nowadays. The only thing that you can generally do in the case of a viral infection is strengthen the immune system and hope it fights it off. Not with Herpes, the immune system can't win against it. Thus you only get to treat the symptoms. Once you're infected, it stays with you for life. So don't get infected.

Personal experience. I have had genital herpes for over 5 years.

The #1 Herpes Cure Program?

Answer 5

No one can make this decision for you. But there are a few things you need to keep in mind. 1/4 women have type 2 genital herpes, and 90% do not know it. Chances are you have already been with someone who has it. Being with a woman who is aware of her status, and is taking precautions to avoid spreading it is much "safer" than being with someone who has not been tested.

If she takes an antiviral medication such as Valtrex, and you use a condom your chance of getting herpes is 1% over the course of an entire year. The risk is NOT cumulative. If you choose not to use a condom your risk is about 2%. To make a comparison, the chance of her getting pregnant while using a condom is greater than the chance of you getting herpes.

If you were to contract the virus, there is a 90% chance that you will either have no symptoms or the symptoms will be so mild you will not notice them.

There is no "mild" form of herpes. The virus itself is the same. The difference is how your body responds to it. Someone who has outbreaks near monthly has the same virus as someone who never gets them.

You need to decide if this girl is worth it? What are the chances you will find someone you like as much as her? Is the chance of that greater than the risk of contracting the virus? And if you do break up, who is to say that the next girl will be negative for it?

What I would suggest is that you go and get a type specific blood test for herpes. Since most people do not know they have it, you should really find out your status. If you are positive then this issue is a no-brainer. If it is negative, then you have some decisions to make.

Answer 6

Only you can make the choice. It is an incredibly common virus and 80% of those that have it aren't aware that they are carriers, and therefore pass the virus on unknowingly.

There are 2 positive about this girl:
1. Firstly she is one of the 20% that knows she has the virus and can therefore take all the necessary precautions to prevent passing it on to you (protection, diet to minimise outbreaks, anti-viral medication etc).
2. She had the common decency to be honest with you and tell you about, such that you yourself can make an educated choice, rather than having the choice made for you.

If you are uncertain, keep seeing her for a little while longer without being sexually active and see how it goes and in the meantime, educate yourself fully on the virus. She had the common decency to tell you about it before getting sexually active, so I am sure she will understand if you wait a little longer. If you then find that you want to spend time with her, then take the risk. Life is too short and you never know she may be the one for you.

At the end of the day, it is only a virus and the emotional trauma associated with the virus is far worse than the physical syptoms - the only reason emotional trauma exists is because of people's attitudes in the community and their lack of education on the virus. It can be an obstacle in dating, but that predominantly stems from ignorance. There are also specialists herpes dating site for people with the virus, so if you did contract the virus and broke up with her, there are plenty of opportunities to meet others - approximately 1 in 8 adults have HSV type II while 80% of adults have HSV type I.

All the best

Harmony
http://www.harmonyonline.com.au

Answer 7

I got clinically diagnosed with the herpes simplex virus (type 2) about six years ago, when I was still attending college and had a stupid one-night stand. I just made a massive mistake that one time and suddenly I felt like I was going to have to live with the consequences for the rest of my life. The worst part was feeling I could never date guys again. In the end, who wants to go out with someone that has sores around her you-know-what? But since a friend shared this video everything changed https://tr.im/herpestreatment2o15zLxE

Not only was I able to clear away all traces of the hsv from my body in less than 21 days, but I was also able to begin dating once more. I even met the man of my dreams. This method provided me the opportunity to be happy and experience real love. Now I want to enable you too by sharing this with the whole World.

Answer 8

Without playing games, don’t be available 100% of the time or let your life be an open book. A man that comes on too strong or doesn’t have outside interests will scare a woman away just as much as it would if the circumstances were reversed. Read here https://tr.im/D48kR

Women don’t want to feel as though they are completely responsible for your happiness and that is what it feels like when the other person has no outside interests. Men who are overeager or jump when the woman says jump are the ones who are more likely to end up in the friend zone. This doesn’t mean that you should play the game of not calling for a few days; it means that you should set healthy boundaries until you both naturally find a spot for the other in your lives.

Answer 9

If you really like this girl, date her....I think she was only looking out for your protection by not sleeping with you and telling you before things got too hot and heavy for the both of you. I am sure she is experienced with the herpes info and would not do anything to hurt you or pass this on to you. Plus, if she has only had one breakout in the past year and is taking her meds and IF yall decide to have sex and of course use a condom, there will be a very slim chance of you catching it. I say don't leave her...she sounds like a very nice girl....she could have slept with you and not told you that she had it.....be thankful she told you before anything happened. And yes...you can have a perfectly normal baby with herpies...the doctor will just do a c-section if needed. Good luck

Answer 10

I know a person that have herpes, and they have 4 children the child is protected while in the mother's stomach. When it is time to delivered if the mom has an outbreak the will do a c-section so the baby won't pass vaginally. It's okay to date her if you think your gonna be in a relationship long term.
Don't have sex while she has an outbreak, then your chance of catching is greater.