I met the "one" then we talk about sex and she says she has herpes! What do I do?

Answer 1

I am also a woman who has herpes. One in four women actually has genital herpes these days, even if they don't know it or don't tell you.

Yes, valtrex helps reduce the chances of transmission. Herpes is most infectious during outbreaks, but is also sometimes infectious in between with no symptoms unfortunately, so there is always a small chance of catching it and if you want to be with her you would have to be prepared to take that chance. Herpes is always a game of chance, you might catch it in the first few weeks, or you might be together twenty years and not catch it.

Condoms only provide very limited protection as it happens. It has been suggested that they provide around 50% protection, but some recent research suggests that they provide virtually no protection for a man having sex with a woman with herpes, because most women have their outbreaks externally on the skin not covered by a condom.

You might want to find out if you have herpes yourself - take a blood test. One in five men has it, but most do not know they are infected. It is worth finding out if she has type 1 or type 2 - Type 1 is the virus that causes oral cold sores, but many women have this genitally. If you get cold sores yourself or are one of the 80% of the population who have the oral herpes virus even though they do not know it, then it would be very unlikely you would catch her genital herpes if it is type 1.

I thought herpes was the end of the world when I caught it. The truth is, it is more of a slight nuisance at times than anything worse. If you think of herpes as like having a cold sore on your genitals you wouldn't be far wrong - it is exactly the same! It is not more severe or somehow any worse physically than an oral herpes (cold sore) infection. The only thing that makes it hard to deal with is the stigma that other people burden you with, just becuase it is on the genitals and not on the mouth. Like cold sores, some people get them often, some get one and never have another in their lives. Some people get big ugly cold sores, some people just get a slight bump on their lips that goes in a couple of days. My symptoms are very mild, just a smalll itchy lump or a couple of pin prick sized blisters that go within two days. I've had one outbreak since new year, but everyone is different. My sister, who also has it, went for six years without one.

Having herpes doesn't mean you are dirty. It doesn't mean you have slept around. Virgins can catch it, if they have ever received oral sex. You can catch it from your one and only partner.

I have a boyfriend I have unprotected sex with, we just avoid outbreaks. He gets cold sores, and I have type 1, so we don't worry about it at all. If I was dating someone who could catch it off me, I would hope that they thought there was more to me than just herpes, and that it was a risk worth taking. If you really thought she was the one, herpes doesn't change who she is, and I would hope that it wouldn't put you off her. It must have taken a lot for her to tell you, it is never easy.

Answer 2

I got identified with herpes (type 2) about five years back, when I was still in college and had a mindless one-night stand. I understand a lot of people say this, but I swear I had never done that sort of thing before. I just made a massive mistake that one time and suddenly it seemed like I was going to have to live with the consequences for my entire life. The hardest part was feeling I could never date other men again. After all, who wants to go out with someone that has sores round her "you know what" area? But since a friend shared this movie https://tr.im/yifDR everything improved.

Not only was I able to eradicate all remnants of the herpes virus from my system in less than 3 weeks, but I was also able to start dating again. I even met the guy of my dreams and I'm so lucky to write that just a week ago, in front of everyone in a crowded restaurant, he got down on one knee and proposed to me! This method provided the opportunity to be happy and experience real love again. Now I want to help others too by sharing this story.

Answer 3

Yes, there isn't any. Herpes is caused by a virus. Actually, there is little cure for viruses nowadays. The only thing that you can generally do in the case of a viral infection is strengthen the immune system and hope it fights it off. Not with Herpes, the immune system can't win against it. Thus you only get to treat the symptoms. Once you're infected, it stays with you for life. So don't get infected.

Personal experience. I have had genital herpes for over 5 years.

The #1 Herpes Cure Program?

Answer 4

If she is the one, then you already know the answer. :-) It took my boyfriend a few weeks to realize I was more important to him than Herpes, but we are extremely happy now, and he just bought me an engagement ring. Yay!

If you are worried about getting it, wear a condom, have her take Valtrex, and avoid having sex while she is having an outbreak. Make sure that she feels like you are the one too before you take the risk of getting Herpes for her. Eventually, if you want to be together forever and have children, you will just have to accept that you may end up with Herpes. It is an inconvenience, but if you are truly happy with her, you will realize that is all it is.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Ask her to take suppressive therapy like Valtrex. Don't have sex during outbreaks. And ALWAYS use a condom unless you are trying to conceive.

This combination of things is your absolute best bet for avoiding contracting the virus. A study published in the New England Journal of Medicine back in 2004 showed that over 90% of serodiscordant* couples who always used condoms and took suppressive therapy DID NOT pass the virus to the originally-uninfected partner.

Many people with genital herpes lead healthy and fulfilling sex lives. 1 in 5 people has the virus. It's no picnic, but it's not the monster that many people believe it is.

*serodiscordant - one person has an infection, but the other person does not

Answer 6

In addition to the excellent advice provided I think the question is "does she think that you are the one?"
If you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she will be with you forever, then you likely wouldn't worry so much about the herpes. The possibility of you getting it and then finding yourself single again is probably what is making you hesitate. My suggestion to you is to find out how committed she is.

Answer 7

I would wait on the sex until you are married to assure that she really is the one and not just the one right now. Cause if sleep with her and then end it and you catch herpes, you've got it forever and you'll have to tell the next "one" that you have it.

Condoms will not protect you from catching it and she can spread it to you even when she is NOT having an outbreak.

Answer 8

Make sure that she tells you when she has outbreaks so you do not have sex during that time. protect yourself . I f you want to be with her go ahead. I would not discuss this with the boys though because they would probably tell you to diss her. It truly depends on how you feel about her in your heart.

Answer 9

Herpes is a type of STD from viral infection. There is no cure of it. If there is sympton, do not kiss and do not oral. Sex is dangerous. Only when all symptons are gone, you can consider sex. To prevent getting it, the most effective way is to use diluted essential oils on the body that has contact. Most herpes come from sex, genital contacts. Use natural aroma water diluted to 0.01-0.1% (spray on before and during sex). Check www.naturalessence.ca for natural aroma water and water-base essential oils.

Answer 10

Stay with her. That would be such a waste to leave her because of that. Just be carful when having sex. Go to your doctor and ask him what to do. He/she will have the answers.