should i tell my bf?

Question

My BF knows i have herpes but i don't take my meds everyday although we do use a condom most of the time i knew the chances were there of him getting the virus but my doc said he most likely has already caught it. so should i tell my bf what my doc said and tell him to get tested or shoud i be what i think would be disrespectful and keep what my doc said to myself. my BF has a bad temper to certain things and he doesn't like discussing the fact that i have H. he keeps putting off getting tested every time he says something about getting tested he never does.

i don't have health insur. the meds are like $100 for mabey a week (7 pills).i get health insur. at end of next month then i will take them everyday. as for the condom thing it was mabey 2 times at the max!

Answer 1

The medication only HELPS prevent your partner from contracting herpes, it's not a 100% guarantee!

In fact, nothing is 100% effective in preventing the spread of genital herpes (except abstinence). Condoms HELP, antiviral medication HELPS, avoiding sex while you are on an outbreak HELPS, but nothing is completely 100% effective.

Since your boyfriend is having sex with you and he knows you have the virus, then hopefully he is well aware of the risks and concerns about contracting the virus himself. And, if he puts off getting tested himself then that is his own fault. Although it would be a very good idea for him to get tested, you can't physically force him to get tested if he doesn't want to.

I have had genital herpes for 6+ years and have been outbreak free for 2+ years. I haven't taken the medication for it in years (and my fiance knows this). I only take it when I have an outbreak or "feel" an outbreak coming. A lot of people don't do daily suppressive therapy. They only take the medication when they need to for outbreaks. The medication, like you said, is expensive and not to mention has NOT be proven to completely prevent the spread of herpes.

Try to convince your boyfriend to get tested and tell him what your doctor told you. If he refuses to get tested then there is nothing more you can do. Take care!

Answer 2

definately, it is not fair to your BF that he could get your disease without making an informed decision. Imagine your situation in contracting herpes, don't you wish you could have been informed. I contracted Hep C do to someone who was awarem who choose not to tell me and put my life at risk but thank God for good Karma, the disease has cleared, but there is no way I could do that to someone. You need to remeber to take your meds first and foremost, prpare them at night, or put them right beside your toothbrush so you acknowledge them, second of all condoms are not 100% and since herpes is a disease of the skin your man can contract it even when you have no symptoms, condom or not by rubbing your skin, get the facts and please don't put someone innocent in jeapordy. If he really loves you you both will overcome this and it will be a huge weight lifted off your shoulders beacuse the guilt and lying will get to you eventually and remember what goes around comes around. aND ALWAYS REMEMBER that you don't want to contract or spread anymore diseases. Good luck. Also find a new doctor he sounds like he attained his degree through a cracker jack box. The main thing is that your BF has the information, as per testing, that is his perogative but for a doctor to conclude that tesing is irrelevant due to the fact that "he probably already has it" is very unethical indeed.

Answer 3

If your not taking your meds daily, the chances are extremely high that he does indeed have it also. It helps decline transmission to wear a condom, but HSV is also spread from the areas outside of what the condom covers. It's a nice thought but he can still contract it even with a condom. He knows that he has it also, he doesn't want the results because then he would have to deal with it. Lets hop he's not out transmitting the disease to others.

Answer 4

I don't know that I'd tell him what the doc said. The doc doesn't know whether he has it or not.

You've been honest with him and he knows you have Herpes. He thinks about getting tested, so he knows already he needs to. I'd just let it go at that.

Answer 5

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE PILLS EVERYDAY. IS THAT BAD? HOW OFTEN DO YOU BREAK TOUT?

I SUGGEST THAT YOU TELL HIM, AND TELL HIM WHY YOU ARE NOT TAKING THE PILLS. TELL HIM THAT THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE BECAUSE YOU'LL BE GETTING HEALTH INSURANCE NEXT WEEK.

I ALSO SUGGEST THAT YOU USE PROTECTION ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT HIM TO CATCH ANYTHING. MAYBE A FEW TIMES A YEAR WITHOUT A CONDOM IS OK, IS HE IS OK WITH IT, JUST MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT HAVING AN OUTBREAK.

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

Answer 6

Why are you not taking your meds everyday? Did you know that some states could prosecute you for willingly spreading a disease? Take your meds everyday, use a condom everytime, and tell your boyfriend to be a man already and get tested!

Answer 7

he may already think he has it if you dont take you med everyday that maight be the reason why he's putting it off if you feel you need to tell him then tell him if not just keep it to your self.
I just went threw the same problem wit my now Ex bf.

good luck

Answer 8

Heather's answer was hilarious! Why are you dating someone with a temper? Your bf knows you have herpes, it's his decision to have unprotected sex with you and to get or not to get tested. Why bother angering him by saying he might have herpes, he already knows how to get it.

Answer 9

First of all, you know you have herpes, why didn't you use a condom? why didn't you use one in the first place. it could have been something else. Always practicfe safe sex. you should tell your man what the doctor said

Answer 10

well, lets see, you say he has a bad temper what the hell do u think hes going to say when he breaks out in sores and terrible painful rashes...then hes realy going to be pissed and i would be too..you obviousley have a problem with not using protection because you have herpes and you have givin it to him....wash that thing, wrap your mens dingelings up...stop the herpes disease for the human race....whats his name so i dont get it too