HELP my wife has type 1 diabetes & I don't know what to do?

Question

My 51yo wife (of 30+ years) was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes about a year and a half ago. She has to inject herself 3x a day. She is tired about 85% of the time. She gets hellatious mood swings. She sometimes cries at the drop of the hat.

I am really trying hard to be supportive but am not sure of just how much more abuse (abuse might be too harsh a word but that is how I sometimes feel) I can put up with.

Ever since her diabetic attack (I had to take her to the ER, her blood level was 575) she gets confused easily, has an extremely hard time staying focused, she also has a hard time paying attention.

What I want to know is this:
Is there a support group I can contact for husbands (or just family members)?

Is there anyone (hub or wife) near our ages and circumstances that I can talk to?

We don't know anyone personally that has type1 that we can talk to.

My email is [e-mail] Please write me (or answer here) if you think you might be able to help.

thx

Answer 1

Hi. I know I can help you. My husband & I have been married for 30+ years. Let's just say that I'm in your wife's age range, still a bit younger, but definitely close enough. Nothing will pull the number out of me :) I do understand what you are going through, and so will my husband.

I have Diabetes Type 1, and I was diagnosed 6 years ago. When I was first diagnosed, my numbers were up around 1,000. Within 6 months, my glucose levels were under control; and I keep them that way. Of course, there's the occasional episode of hypoglycemia, when my levels drop too low.

My first question would be "are her glucose levels under control?" I test my levels about 12 times a day; that is the only way to know how your numbers are doing, the only way to know whether you are taking enough insulin (or too much) and if some adjustments are needed in type of insulin and/or dosage.

I take Lantus (glargine) 75 units at bedtime. That is a slow-acting insulin that lasts 24 hours. It keeps my numbers in the 90 range around the clock. During the day, before meals, I take NovoLog (asparte) 35 units.

I do what is called "tight control," where I keep my glucose levels between 80 - 130; also, my A1c numbers stay between 5.3% and 5.7%. Non-diabetics do not go above 6%; so technically, I am keeping my body in a non-diabetic state, which will reduce complications by 84%.

To do this, I have to adjust my own insulin dosages. I do not change the bedtime Lantus — that is my baseline insulin. However, during the day, I do adjust the mealtime NovoLog. For example, if I am going to have a larger than usual meal or one that is heavy in carbohydrates, I will increase my insulin to 40 - 45 units. Conversely, if all I'm going to eat is a yogurt, I decrease my insulin to about 25 - 20 units. Also, when I check my glucose levels at other times, if I see the numbers have crept up too high, I will give myself a few units of insulin to bring them back into range.

This is a bit of a tightrope walk, but by now it has become 2nd nature, and I hardly have to think about it at all. My husband is very supportive; I don't know what I would do without him.

If your wife's glucose levels are not controlled by now, that is the biggest (and most dangerous) problem. She should have an Endocrinologist; they are the specialists for Diabetes, insulin types & dosages, methods of using it, i.e., pens, pumps, etc. I could be wrong, but if your wife is injecting 3 times a day, my guess is that they are before meals. If so, she may not be getting a slow-acting insulin for round-the-clock. I don't know the details, so forgive me if I'm wrong there.

The important thing is KEEP GLUCOSE LEVELS UNDER CONTROL. And that is done by TESTING, TESTING, TESTING. Keeping a journal is helpful - to show the doctor & for you both to see. It's just 3 columns: Time of Testing; Glucose Level; and Situation, i.e., Dawn, Before Breakfast, 2 Hours After Breakfast & other 2 meals (2 hrs. from time she starts eating), Bedtime, and other situations - Before/After Exercise and a few more times, just to watch it.

I am also wondering if there is something else going on with your wife, in addition to the Diabetes, especially if her glucose levels ARE under control. She really needs to see an Endocrinologist. The mood swings & the crying "at the drop of a hat" make me think she may be heading into Menopause She should be tested for that. Also, since her Diabetes is Type 1, which is an auto-immune disease, she should have her Thyroid tested. Thyroid disease can really knock your emotions all over the place!!! Women are very often not checked & simply labeled as "hysterical." If she has Thyroid Disease, as I also do, it is easily treated and bye-bye fatigue, mood swings & crying.

When I developed Diabetes, it was initially diagnosed by my primary care physician, who just lumped all symptoms under that. My husband had a list of all the dates when "things" happened, all within a 6 month period. I went to an Endocrinologist.

It turned out I had Polygladular Disease, which is when all the glands stop working or don't work correctly. We have 4 glands: Thyroid (hyper or hypo thyroid disease); Pancreas (diabetes); Ovaries/Testes (Premature Ovarian Failure); and Adrenals (Addison's, Cushing's, etc). So, rule out any problems with the other glands, as well. It's certainly hard to manage the Diabetes, if not impossible, if another condition is affecting it.

Now to give you a bit of help :) It's difficult being a caregiver, which is what you are. My husband is a wonderful caregiver, but it is very stressful; there's no getting around it. Your wife needs your support, but you, also, need support. Right now, her illness(es) is preventing her from being very supportive to you. So you need to look elsewhere.

The Well Spouse group has actual meetings to which you can go. I don't know where you live, but I'll give you their web site. There are also on-line support groups. You can look under Yahoo! Groups. You can also do a general search, both with Yahoo! and with Google. An important note when you want to narrow down the search — put quotation marks around the words you enter. For example, you would want to type "caregiver support" when you do your search. Don't type it up where it says http// - that's only for web addresses. Type it lower down, in the other space. (Sorry if you know this already; some people don't.)

Here are some web sites that might help you & your wife. The first 2 are for both of you to research Diabetes (including support). The 3rd is to look up Diabetes & other illnesses. It's written well, so you don't have to be a doctor to understand anything. The rest are support sites; you can search for many more if these don't feel right for you.

1) www.americandiabetesassociation.com

2) www.americandiabetesassociation.org

3) www.revolutionhealth.com

4) www.wellspouse.org

5) www.thefamilycaregiver.org

6) www.caregiver.com

7) www.groups.msn.com/TheCaregiversSupportGroup/
caregiverstress.msnw

I would also suggest that you buy one or two books about Diabetes and possibly a book or two on caregiving. They can be helpful. The ADA (American Diabetes Association) can send you a free catalogue of their books.

I wish you & your wife the best of luck. I hope that I have been able to be of some help to you both today. Hang in there.

Answer 2

All the behaviors you are describing sound like a diabetic with uncontrolled blood sugar. How are her blood sugars running? If she can get those under control she and you will feel so much better. I agree if she isn't seeing an Endo, she needs too. Maybe 3 shots a day isn't the best treatment. She may need a different type of insulin or possible an insulin pump could be an option for her. There are many type 1's (including me) right here on this site that would be happy to help.

Answer 3

2

Answer 4

I'm a long-time type 1 diabetic. I put my ex-husband through some of that same stuff (we divorced for reasons unrelated to diabetes).

You can email me through Yahoo Answers if you like. What you need is a support network. There are a lot of diabetics on here (including myself) who would be happy to offer that support.

Also, I urge you to think about taking a diabetes education class (offered at most hospitals). By doing this, you can learn more about how diabetes affects people and their friends and family.

I'm a bit younger than you but not so young (soon to be 38). My live-in boyfriend is having to deal with some of the same things you are dealing with. I'll look up some support groups for you if you can tell me where you live and what you have access to. You're not alone...remember that.

EMT (Laura)

Answer 5

575 is extremely high, the symptoms are those of low and high. She needs to get in control quickly. The abuse you feel is much less damaging than the effects on her body from these highs and lows. You must be as knowledgeable about care and treatment as she does. Go to the American Diabetes Association web site to find local chapters or groups. The site also has many other aides especially for new diabetics.

other ideas
My relatives can spot my low blood sugars before I notice the effect even after I have been type 1 for 40 years. Luckily we can all laugh later at my confusion and lack of focus.. Learn the symptoms, get her to trust you when you tell her what she needs to do. Go with her to the doctor and if you don't understand ask questions.

I diabetic that takes good care can live as long as anyone else, but the damage to the body from poor care can be devastating.

Answer 6

I'm a 45 year old woman and was recently diagnosed as being a borderline diabetic. My doctor prescribed some medication, but before filling it I decided to do some research on the internet which led me to the methods. After reading this ebook and applying the methods, my scepticism turned to 100% belief. I noticed that my energy levels increased significantly and I felt more rested in the morning, my symptoms started going away.

I am very happy to tell you that I have been feeling better than I have felt in years and my doctor informed me that he will be taking me off my prescriptions if I keep this up.

I recommend you use the Type 2 Diabetes Destroyer to naturally reverse your diabetes.

Answer 7

That sounds a lot like me when my diabetes was not controlled. She feels like crap! I am very lucky that my loved ones stuck with me, because I certainly didn't deserve their kindness.
For me, what finally helped (after 21 years) was an insulin pump. Now my diabetes is controlled, and I feel so much better. I have energy, and I don't get those mood swings. And I am able to hold down a job.
I hope that you find the support you are looking for. But for your sake, as well as your wife's health, get that diabetes under control. Once her health is returned to her, perhaps she will return to being herself.

Answer 8

With the newer types of insulin these days, diabetic diets aren't necessarily as restrictive as they used to be. Read here https://tr.im/PIMT6
As with any medicine or diet change, you should discuss it with your doctor. Fruits, both fresh and dried, have a natural sugar in them that will raise blood sugar levels, so be careful about eating too much. Not sure about the nuts. Moderation is always the key. I've been diabetic for 18 years and just recently changed insulin types. I love it because it gives me more freedom in when and what I eat.

Answer 9

I second what Palemalefriend said. Couldn't have said it better myself. PLEASE take your wife to see an Endocrinologist ASAP. It seems as though her doctor sent her home without any diabetes education in place for the both of you. This can be *very* dangerous in both the short term and the long term. It sounds as though she is having regular episodes of low blood sugar, which is serious.

Feel free to email me if you have any individual questions, but please, get her an appointment with a specialist for further testing (i.e. c-peptide levels, thyroid levels, adrenal levels, B12 levels, screening for Celiac Disease, etc.) and diabetes care education. She sounds very "run down".

It is also possible that she may need a neurological and psychological screening for other conditions as well. However, I agree that large swings in her blood sugar and/or abnormal thyroid function are 2 of the most likely causes of her problems.

Please be there for her and make sure she gets proper care. You can help her more than you know. There is hope, but she needs proper medical attention.

Answer 10

There are at least three yahoo groups related to diabetes, diabetes support group, insulin pumpers group, and a group called diabetes. Free to join so join all three. there you will meet people you have the same problems you do, and your wife should be pretty comfortable because it mostly a bunch of old ladies who have diaetes, ok maybe not all old ladies but they all have one thing in common. Diabetes. some have have it, some have family members who do as well. If or when your wife gets her diabetes under control it will be much easier for both of you. Of course medical supervision will be needed as well but the groups do help you cope.