Stay at home Moms, working Moms, when do we get our guiltless free time, just an hour for crying out loud?

Question

"When," I ask you? When?! I could really use a hand. I don't mean waking up at 4 am to get on answers while everyone is asleep.

Also, taking care of a baby, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, contrary to popular opinion is a 24 hour job. Until you've done it and done it well, you have no idea ... it takes organization & time management just like a 9 to 5.

I cannot afford a nanny and if I could, I'd still be right here. What are your tips other than waiting until everyone is sleep, in kindergarten, off to college?

Answer 1

I have 3 kids... Luckily, I survived and now, the oldest just turned 19, the other two are 13 and 15... 3 teens in the house is also a full time job... But here's what I learned:

When the baby sleeps, you sleep. I'm not kidding. The laundry can wait, so can the cleaning etc. If you don't get the much needed rest, you won't be good to anyone.

You get the time you need when you decide to take it. When you decide you are a priority. Did you ever hear the story about the mom in an airplane with her child? The plane is in distress and may be making a crash landing. The oxygen masks come down... and the mom wants to save her child desperately (I know you can relate to that!) so she puts on her child's oxygen mask first... well, she tries to. But doesn't make it because she passes out from lack of oxygen. So niether one of them are saved... So listen closely:

IF YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR CHILD, PUT YOUR OXYGEN MASK ON FIRST!!!!

That goes for everything! You'll be no good to that baby if you don't make yourself a priority. Put a big sign on the fridge or in lipstick on your mirror that says: IN THIS HOUSE, EVERYONE GETS WHAT THEY NEED... EVEN MOM! And don't forget it.

Surely you can afford to have a babysitter come in one evening a week so you can get out for an hour or two (or hubby if he's in the picture, or baby's daddy if he's functional). Sign up for a course for something that you've always wanted to do and do it! You are important. And here's another message that I LOVE!

The way you treat yourself is the instruction booklet you give others for how they should treat you... So if you don't take care of yourself and make your time a priority, why should anyone else???

I know it's hard being a full-time mom, cook and chief bottle washer. No one ever said it would be easy. But you can make it better. You just need to remember that you too are just as important and then treat yourself that way.

If you want to talk sometimes, just email... I'll listen.

Answer 2

Don't get up at 4am to answer or ask questions. Don't wait until school starts. It's all about priorities. Now I am not advocating a dirty house, but lets face it, if your gonna have a "white glove" clean house you will have no time to yourself ever. A little dust never hurt anyone. Limit yourself on the cleaning tasks, don't try to do everything everyday. Cut your laundry time down to twice a week....or do a quick load once a day (I call it rotating clothes.) Do the basics, but only deep clean one room a day. Have a routine (ya gotta be a bit more flexable with babies & toddlers). I like to clean early in the day so I can relax more in the afternoon before doing the dinner thing. I have done that working, & not working with my kids when they were super little and now that they are teens. It works even more as I have to do a lot of running with all their activities. Keep a bunch of quick recipies handy (and ingrediants) for the days when you are just worn out. Freezing some dinners also helps on those days as well. Don't waste all your baby's days cleaning. Get down on the floor and have some fun. Childhood is to short to waste...and dust will always be around.

Schedule some time to yourself....get a babysitter, make your husband help....he should be helping with it all anyway. If nothing else he should be able to handle the baby for an evening so you can catch up with your friends, watch a movie, take a long scented bath or read a good book. You'll feel better and be better for it. We all need a break and being a Mom is a 24/7 365 day job. Good luck & best wishes.

Answer 3

Do you have any relatives close by, or a sister, girlfriend or neighbor. Sometimes the local Churches have "Mom's Day Out".
After hubby gets home, showers and eats, tell him you are going to soak in the bathtub, close the door and relax, even if for half of a hour.
Utilize any and all resources, maybe a teenager in the area can either help or give you a break.
Good luck and I hope that you are able to get a break.....thank you!

Answer 4

Because society assumes that. SAHMs are not rewarded by society in any way and are often penalized when it comes to the work force. The skills you learn as a SAHM translate to lost time on a job resume. You don't get credit toward SS as a SAHM, it's under-appreciated. That said, you understand that you have all the responsibility of a SAHM and none of the benefit. Everyone needs to settle down. We're all doing the best we can with the lot we have.

Answer 5

stay home moms working moms guiltless free time hour crying loud

Answer 6

Hand things over to the kid's father and take off for an hour. Even if it means literally taking off somewhere for an hour. Or longer.

Answer 7

the truth is that you never have time for yourself until they're grown and gone! i went to work so i could afford a nanny all those years ago, because i couldn't take the pressure!

Answer 8

I actually had my husband who helped me with that........he would give me...........me time after he got home from work and thats what help me cause your right we have a 24/7 jobs it doesn't end when the weekend comes.

Answer 9

I know what your saying. I am now working plus doing everything at home with no one to help and I feel like I will just fall down and die sometimes. ♥j

Answer 10

Honest suggestion: Find another mother and give each other breaks.