A month after I met my husband I found out he had fathered a child before he met me from a one night stand. The woman was 42 and he states he felt completely set up. She rang and told him she thought she was pregnant and he didnt hear from her again. The Gov then sent papers naming him as the father and requesting he sign them. He was not sure he was the but didnt dispute it so he signed. He has not heard from her since.
The child would be 3 this Dec. He refuses to contact her. He would pay support if the mother requested it. I feel so sad for the child - it is not his fault and I am worried he will grow up to have issues of abandonment and end up on our doorstep asking why his father never wanted to know him.
I feel like writing a letter to the Mum to ask if she would send pics and to send her some and make at least some minor contact via photos and letters, cards and presents at xmas etc.
What should I do???? (and no moral crusaders answer please i dont need a lecture)
2007-08-22 22:39:14 · 6 answers · asked by Olivereindeer 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Once his name is on the papers, the child is "his", if he is the biological parent or not. She could be asking for child support and could get it. The best thing to do is to contact a lawyer in your state and find out what his rights are, before it's too late. If she wanted the father of her child to be involved, she would make contact. Maybe the kids has a "step daddy" and she doesn't want to confuse the child.
2007-08-22 23:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by jim 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your husband has recognized the child thru his signature he has to exert effort to be with the child . bravo for your effort this is strange but if it is welcome on your part go ahead might i say it again this is strange. why not offer to adopt the child if it is ok with both of you that way you are sure your husband is supporting the boy not seeing the mom again . and make sure the child is rear like your own or else would rather leave it with the mom. just a thought not sermon
2007-08-23 09:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by bellatq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a fine upstanding lady to want to do something. So many people abandon their responsibilities in this kind of issue. You need to talk it over with your husband first as what he thinks about it and what to do. Very touchy subject. But I salute you for your concern.
2007-08-23 07:02:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow that does seem like a good idea, call her and ask for pictures of the child, maybe if your husband sees these pictures by then he would probably have alot of love for the child.
2007-08-23 07:47:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your right at least try and contact her to request a photograph to see what the child looks like anyway! who knows it may not even be his! request a dna! he has a right for that!
2007-08-23 05:50:01 · answer #5 · answered by beachplayingslots 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
gosh its hard to say. i know there are people like that maybe shes married and hes got a father i would let it up to his real dad there. i mean its big those steps and its harder for you to intervene its nice but i am not sur what to do in this case.
2007-08-26 20:37:00 · answer #6 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋