How do I deal with watching my mother die of Cancer in the next few weeks?

Question

They say she only has a few weeks left. I'ts 2:30AM, im up on the computer and i have the phone by my side. I know i wont get that phone call tonite, but i dont want to sleep. I can't after seen my mom like that, and i have a husband and son who need me.

Answer 1

I lost my stepdad last year to brain cancer, and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. But hospice helped amazingly---they have counselors, use them!---and we all got through it as best we could.

Be aware that "only a few weeks" means absolutely nothing at this point. Use every single moment you need to say goodbye to her---your husband is a grown man, he doesn't "need" you, and he can take care of your son's basic needs while you're grieving. Give lots of love to your son, so he doesn't get scared about the whole thing. But use what time you have left. The doctors told us my stepdad only had about a month left----he died two days later. Being there when he died and getting the chance to really say goodbye meant all the difference in dealing with the situation.

It's hard. But remembering that it's just a part of life like any other, and that our loved ones live on in our actions and words---it helps.

Answer 2

I'm sorry. I know what it's like to watch a loved one die from this most terrible of all diseases. My dad passed away from cancer just 4 weeks ago, so it's still fresh with me. I can't tell you much on how to cope, but I can tell you what I did. I think praying is a good idea. Get some rest because you will need all the strength you can muster. Bring out old photos and go through them with mum and your family, have a good laugh about the more pleasant times. Make her life as comfortable as possible. Talk about it with your husband, you will need emotional support. Chat with your mum about what she wants for the rest of you. Finish all unfinished business. I hope that you survive this. Remember, there is no pain in heaven.

Answer 3

It is so difficult to watch a parent die, I know. The only thing I can offer is support because I have been there. If possible, be with your Mom, it will mean the world to both of you. Also, make sure she knows you love her and are thankful for all she did for you. After she passes, things will be difficult, there won't be a day where she is not in your thoughts. Remember, she will never leave you as long as you have memories and love.

Answer 4

Everyone is different, I watched the progress in a hospice over the period of 6 months, and I know that it is tremendously hard.
some things I did were: go to movies and use the alone time in the theater to just turn off my mind, I tried to be a trustworthy ear to my family, I helped early with funeral preparations so when the time came it was already started, walked ALOT, there was a park nearby so I would take the young ones there to watch them play, napped. Just to name a few... the pain will pass, but it is completely up to you when you let that happen, be strong, and you will survive.

Answer 5

My mother passed away of cancer almost 2 years ago. I watched her die in front of me. I shut her eyes and helped the funeral coroner carry her body out. It is tough to see but it is what all of us have to deal with seeing our parents die. I cried a lot and went through a lot of feelings. I was glad she did not have to suffer to long so I believe she is where she wants to be now. My father passed away when I was very young he had a heart attack that really hit me hard when I was a young boy. So now both parents are like guardian angels for me. God Bless and if no one else tells you I Love You Good Luck I wish you all the best..

Answer 6

*Sigh* You poor thing. There's no easy way to deal with it. Utilize your support systems (friends, husband) and just be supportive of your mom.
It's never easy to watch someone die from cancer. My grandfather died at my house from cancer as well. It's sad and scary to see someone you always saw healthy to look so frail and weak.
As far as sleeping, you may want to consider taking something to help you get some rest during this difficult time in your life. Benadryl, Tylenol PM, Simply Sleep.....there are several OTC options.

Take Care..........

Answer 7

If she only has a few weeks left, then hubbie and son surely wouldnt mind you being with her. I have just lost my husband to cancer. I was with him all the way thru, and gee was it hard., but it would be even harder now if I had to battle my guilty feelings for not being there for him. Be there.

Answer 8

I would suggest going there and being there next to your mom. It may be hard, but you will regret it if you dont.
I went on vacation to visit my mom who had cancer, and I thought she was going to be fine. She ended up being admitted into the hospital while I was there and the docs came to me and told me its only a matter of days. I felt like I died then, but I was there and dont regret a second of my actions. No one can really tell you how YOU cope, they can just tell you how they did it.
I drank alot... And, everytime I feel depressed, I write what im thinking. sounds stupid, but helps 'me'.

Answer 9

go be with your mom if you dont you will feel regret later on. talk to her tell her you love her and let her know that you will be ok. forgive her for anything and tell her you are sorry for anything you may have done. I was with my dad when he passed with cancer and my first husband 6 months later with cancer and now I am losing this husband to cancerand he also only has a couple of weeks left.BE THERE WITH YOUR MOM PLEASE!!!!!

Answer 10

just be there for her. my dad took 3 weeks to die last year. my gf was very supportive and helped my keep vigil at the hospice. take this time to tell her things that are deep inside you. if you don't , you'll regret it later. i had a long talk with my dad before he passed, it helped us both tie up loose ends.