My Girlfriend has moved here to live with me. She is from another country and she still has culture shock. Her work here is not good for her as she has no interest in it or the people working there (she cannot relate to them). When I go out to meet my friends, she finds that she cannot relate to them either as they share a long time sense of humour between them (although they are very nice to her and try to keep her in any conversation), so now she is reluctant to go out with me when I meet my friends, yet I still feel bad for leaving her at home on her own. Any ideas?
2007-08-22 21:04:44 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
further to my question, I now have a difficulty in that I won't go out with my friends as much as I used to as I don't want to leave my girlfriend on her own.
2007-08-22 22:58:28 · update #1
So now, I feel I am becoming anti - social. Thanks for all the help so far. Anybody else who has this difficulty?
2007-08-22 22:59:30 · update #2
Ok so I have moved around different cities alone, and more recently with my other half.
Here is how I have made friends.
1. In Dundee I worked with loads of guys, I simply told a few of them I didn't know anyone and they said their girlfriends would be up for a new pal. So I became friendly with them and hey presto I have some friends. I didn't like my workmates that much either, but their girlfriends were great fun.
2. I move to Edinburgh and used this website http://www.gumtree.com/ to put an ad in asking for female friends. If you like in the UK there is bound to be a site for your city, and outside UK there is surely a site for your country I would hope. I met a few nice people this way and have stayed in touch.
3. Moved to Glasgow to be with my man. I started hanging out with his mates female flatmates and friends. There was already a social circle of his mates who had female flatmates and girlfiriends, so again I just hang out with them.
Joining a club is a good idea, but it didn't work for me as I am shy and found it a big deal to be thrown in a room with heaps of people who although had the same interests, were basically strangers and someone had to make the first move to chat, and I was too scared to! So I met nobody that way. Also a lot of people go to clubs and classes with already established friends, making it even harder to strike a conversation. But you have to try it to make sure it is not for you!
Hope you manage to help her out, it is horrible being away from home and not really fitting in. Good Luck
2007-08-23 01:25:32 · answer #1 · answered by fire_woman_1978 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some of the others that have replied to you let her join a club or go to church but she can also go on the Internet and find others from her country that are now living in this country and they also might be able to suggest things to help.
i would say thought that the guy who said you should pay her more attention needs to gather more facts before saying things like that as he has no idea what your relationship is like, i know someone who has a foreign girlfriend with the same problem and because he did the more attention thing which is not always a bad thing women deserve our attention but now she goes everywhere with him and even leaves the room with him even if he is only going for a drink or to the toilet now I'm sure you don't want that lol.
i suggest you carry on taking her out with your friends over time she may also get that bond with them.
2007-08-22 21:18:17 · answer #2 · answered by mik_se7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be something shes into whether its reading or karting! find her a club and offer to go with her so she wont be as shy. Do you have a sister or even a sister-in-law? Encourage them to met up this way she could make a friend and feel that she is being welcomed into your family.
2007-08-22 21:25:45 · answer #3 · answered by Claire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encourage her to join an evening class of some kind, there are many different options and she might meet some nice potential friends there.
2007-08-22 21:10:00 · answer #4 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmmm
she can go to a church or if you know a good friend that has a friend that you think would be a good friend then introduce her to them
or if she is really miserable there and you really love her than move
well ask her first
2007-08-22 21:17:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's got to make more of an effort! How about clubs/societies?
2007-08-22 21:45:42 · answer #6 · answered by roadtripman90 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have her join a club or sign up for some kind of class or activity.
2007-08-22 21:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by 412envy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about not going out with your friends and paying more attention to her. what she needs or feels. stop being a *** and help her out/ you have what you need for now hook her up.
2007-08-22 21:09:28 · answer #8 · answered by bienbuenote 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try church or local community center
2007-08-22 21:08:40 · answer #9 · answered by silver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋